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help me help others.
October 5, 2009
7:50 pm
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HMHY0302
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September 30, 2010
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Ok so i don't know why but it seems that all my friends trust me so much that they tell me all their deepest darkest secrets and ask me for advice, i always try to help and usually it does help them,but lately there has been alot of problems that they have and i don't know how to help them.I feel bad that i can't help them because they always come to me. but its come to the point where all their problems are affecting me in a way and i dont know what to do,...any advice? thnks

October 5, 2009
8:21 pm
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CraigCo
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September 27, 2010
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Step back, maybe?

October 5, 2009
10:21 pm
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onlyboringontheoutside
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September 24, 2010
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Why do you feel it's your responsibility to help others to the point where you feel drained? What would happen in your mind if you didn't do this?

October 5, 2009
11:25 pm
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HMHY0302
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September 30, 2010
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thats the thing too!,...i dont know why i feel the need to help them, but i guess i think if i dont help them, who will? if you cant turn to your friends who can u turn to?,...but yea i've been thinking about this for a while now and i think im going to try what craig said and step back. thanks for the help guys i needed someone to talk to.

October 6, 2009
12:02 am
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fantas
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September 29, 2010
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Seems to me, you are withdrawing from your emotional/empathy/caring/Mr or Mz fix it, bank more than you can afford to. I think you should just tell your friends the truth. You do not know how to help them and encourage them to seek assistance from someone who can. In my experience, I realized that I was always the one offering or being asked for help but rarely would the friends offer to help or even be there when I needed them.

There was no reciprocity and I found myself resentful of all that I was doing for them. Could you be starting to see the "lopsidedness" of this interaction and are secretly resentful of having to always "be there" for your friends, even if on the surface it looks like you really want to be of help to them? Just a thought..

Giving back to friends, family, and community, should be rejuvenating and fulfilling. As soon as you start to feel burdened by any of it, then it's time for some self-care and self replenishment, IMO

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