Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Help!!! I sick of being me and living in my life.
June 11, 2002
11:50 pm
Avatar
Utahgirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Why do I have to live at home and feel as if there is no hope for the future. It hurts so much that I may never find a solution to my employment problem. I wish I hurt more so I can justify to myself that commiting suicide would answer my problem. Yes I have many blessings but that does not matter when your tortured inside and feel like you can never be a real adult. Why should I live?? I feel so worthless !!

June 12, 2002
12:22 am
Avatar
time4change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

GOD GRAND ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE PEOPLE I CANNOT CHANGE, COURAGE TO CHANGE THE ONES I CAN, AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW IT'S ME.

Suicide might be the answer your problems but what would it do to the people that love you. If it wasn't for all the hurt and pain I would of cause everyone, hell I would of checked out along time ago. THANK GOD I didn't! Why should you live?? because God picked you to live on this earth. He picked all of us and some of us have it harder than others but nothing and I mean nothing is worth laughing at God in the face and saying no thank you God don't want it! Why do you not feel like an adult and worthless? You know I don't really like my life but it's the one I have and I am going to find away to make it work for me, come on utahgirl let's do this. OK

June 12, 2002
12:43 am
Avatar
Utahgirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, what if you're real angry at God for giving you a problem and saying to you that you have to met XYZ expectationas before you get what you need to have now. What if you felt you could not live another year or 2 without a solution but you feel that is what will happen and God has also made you feel like your not good enough for him even if you live the standards that my church(LDS) sets for its member?

And maybe I'm just having a BAD day and tomorrow will be better (maybe)

June 12, 2002
1:09 am
Avatar
time4change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I hope it is just a bad day Utahgirl!!! I really don't think God has made you feel like your not good enough for him, that's all on you, your feeling that way for what ever reasons. I was born and raised in a church and I never go to church now and I don't feel like I am not good enough for God, but because that's how I chose to feel.

I know all about being angry at God and life, but if he brings you to it, he will help you, not do it for you but help you through it. You know life is one day at a time if we go to far in the future or stay in the past where are we today?

June 12, 2002
1:27 am
Avatar
time4change
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I said I didn't really like my life before, but I was thinking, God has it going on with me right now and shit yes it hurts, and I do like what is coming from all that pain called growth. I wouln't have pick somethings about my life but I would of never ask for some of the great blessings I was given either. You know what Utahgirl be mad at God if you need to and that's where your at just don't say there to long, life is moving on and fast. 504 gota love it!

June 12, 2002
8:31 am
Avatar
syqg
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Being an adult does not mean total independence all of the time. Dependence on people is a part of life that most people run from. All dependence is not bad. All independent people are not adults. You have painted yourself into a picture and now you don't like what you see because you don't think God or anybody else likes what they see in you. Only you can repaint the picture, or view it differently, and most of the time other people see our picture the way we see our picture. There is alot to being an adult and the first step is to stop whining like a baby. (Please don't take that wrong) I need to do the same myself. Employment is not the answer here, it's self responsibility. Employment is important in the role of an adult, but without it does not always mean total dependency on others. I'm curious to what high standards you are living by here, because I remember you having some health problems, and I think you're parents didn't mind you living with them. Whose picture are you trying to paint yourself into? Yours? Or somebody else's? I wish you all the best. Takes a real adult to ask for help sometimes.

June 12, 2002
12:50 pm
Avatar
gypsygirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Utah. Things are tough, but you are a fighter. Sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do. We got to keep on keeping on. When we are not on the right path, God lets us know. I have had many many reality checks this past year. I choose a direction and go full speed ahead, only to find out when I get there that I do not belong there. So I have spent a year of my life reinventing it. I was in the Army, I got married twice, I had my own apartment, I sold Avon, I was pregnant, had a miscarriage, Moved to Arizona, moved to colorado, had several jobs, moved to a small village just outside of this town, was in college, lost many friends, went through many boyfriends, God keeps pulling the rug out from underneath me landing me on my ass, but I keep getting up. I will not be defeated. Same goes for you. If one path has a dead end backtrack and choose another direction. Death is not an option. You hear me girl?

June 12, 2002
3:52 pm
Avatar
UK Polly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

If you die today something will happen tomorrow and you'll have missed it . . .

BTW, did you girls check out Utahgirl's other thread What if ???? What if I never find a full time job???

June 12, 2002
11:26 pm
Avatar
Utahgirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Okay, I'm here still. I was having a major pity party again. I went to my therapist today and we had a discussion about taking action and moving forward. Not staying in the old familiar place of "poor old me". That I need to focus on what I can choose to change and she asked me about the list I had made a couple of weeks ago about positive actions I had taken and why I hadn't been doing that so I told her I would start writing three positive action items that had done to improve my life and build it.
Gypsy, yes, death is not a real option when I get off my pity pot and I guess I was looking for the easy solution. It would be a selfish one too!!
Blondie, thanks for your concern!!! I guess I suffer from OCD and I don't deal with anxiety in general very well and six years of uncertainity and pain is hard for me. I have a pt job at a local bank. I work 22.5 hours a week but I don't bring home too much money. I got health benefits though. Oh, I'm 31 years old. I've worked at the bank pt for most of the last six years but I need ft employment and I can't seem to get one so I don't have to think about job hunting for a real loooong time. But it has not happened I believe because God wants me to met certain expectations. I should look everyday before work but my depression makes things difficult and I feel all my efforts will be fruitless.
Sygg, Yes I need to be more responsible and have more self discipline in my life that is one reason for my action plan I talked with my therapist about.

June 13, 2002
12:05 am
Avatar
silence
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This might be weird, but this is what I did. I stopped myself from trying to kill myself by setting a goal. I will only die if it is in the most absurd way possible. Like skydiving without a chute and slamming crotch first into a flagpole. Or dowsing myself in liquid nitrogen and getting hit ny a bus, shattering all over the street. Or being encased in a giant ball of glass by having it melted over me, that way everybody can see me as I died.

The thing about doing this causes me to think how much darn work it'll take. So laziness wins and I still continue to live. The only reason this works is because I really do want to die in a very odd way. I want my name on that Darwin Award damnit.

June 13, 2002
2:05 pm
Avatar
Cici
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Utahgirl,

I hope things are going better for you. Lately I've been giving advice to friends who graduated with me about job hunting and stuff. I am a compulsive researcher, so when I was about to graduate I spent hours reading about resumes and cover letters and interviews. This is how I pump myself up to get things done. Believe me, I am notoriously late. I've had the wallpaper ripped off my bathroom walls for over 2 years now, waiting forlornly to be re-papered by me. I just have to get some home-improvement books and then I may get into it, ha ha.

Anyway, there are a lot of mistakes commonly made in job searching. First and foremost, always write a company and position-specific cover letter. It highlights your grammar and writing skills and you can include more details than a resume can cover.
First paragraph: desired position and how you found out about it. This can include cold-calls where you just look up a company name and write to solicit for un-advertised positions. Second paragraph: current job and skills. Third paragraph: education and relevent coursework. Fourth paragraph: Close the sale (e.g., My work experience has been limited to part-time employment, but I believe what I lack in experience I make up for in enthusiasm and creativity. My references are available upon request. I thank you for your time, and hope you will consider me an eager applicant.)

Second, the only full sentence in a resume should be the objective, which should always be position-specific (e.g., for a receptionist position, "My objective is a customer service position where I can utilize my excellent organizational and customer service skills."). The rest of the resume should be brief, and always in bullet form, so the HR people can scan it for desired info.

My husband found a job at a financial planning firm by opening the phone book and sending cover letters and resumes to all the companies listed. I picked out over 30 positions from classifieds and canvased the area with my resume. The job market is tough now, so the best tactic is to look for positions that are even outside your area of expertise. If the listing says "experience preferred" don't be put off! Try it anyway. Heck, I'm a Psych major who works at a Medical research and diagnostic Software Company, burning software and programming hardware keys.

The most important part, though, is to keep thinking: I'm the best, I have great skills and a great attitude, you SHOULD want me! Sell yourself! You ARE great!

June 14, 2002
12:36 am
Avatar
Utahgirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Okay, What a difference two nights makes in ones life. Suicide !!! Suicide! What were you thinkng when you typed those two posts. What a sellfish, dumb act. Okay I am responding to my own posts. Utahgirl(Amy) get off those poor me and get on with life. It's so vain to want to take your life just because you can't find a full-time job. You need to stop returning to the old patterns of behavior!! It does not accomplish anything at all.

Why the change, well I may finally have a full-time job with the Utah Board of Regent. A job. Oh, I hope!!! I would be so excited!!! My boss said a lady called for a reference and she told him that she really liked me. After, I found out she called I reflected on my feelings and thought"Boy, it is vain to want to commit suicide just because I don't have a full time job." But I don't feel so down. Please if you want to pray that I get this job. If I don't I know I can give good interviews. LOTS OF HOPE Utahgirl

Pray they find that missing teen in Utah, Elizabeth Smart too.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
37
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111001
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38567
Posts: 714291
Newest Members:
Castano, Yourheart, Aaradhya, tecnhog, Fijirald, Welds
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information