Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_TopicIcon
help! i am so jealous!
March 10, 2009
6:32 pm
Avatar
danceandbefree
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i have two best friends. one is a boy. one is a girl. for safety sake we'll call them bob and karen. they are friends as well. karen has told me that she used to have a crush on bob. i didn't think anything of it. bob moved out of state. so it's just me and karen. he's visited two times recently. both times we've slept together. for those of you who are familiar to me you may remember i havent slept with anyone in almost a year. well...recently ive noticed that he talks to her more often than me. she calls him and they have hour long conversations. this past weekend. they showed up to my house while i was there with a friend together. saturday night i was sick and so they got drunk together. i met them for lunch sunday and they were TOGETHER. He was in town for a court date and i thought he was going home after the court date but i find out from karen that he went over to her place afterwards. i'm so sad. because i am starting to like this guy. sunday night he didn't even want to hang out with me. or monday at all. i am so jealous. i talked to him about it last night cause i got coerced into it. and told him i was jealous. he says he had a feeling about it but that he wouldn't tell karen. he doesn't think anything of it. but i do! everytime he doesn't text me back or call me i think he's talking to her! and last night when i got home i was talking to her and drinking and she got off the phone with me because he called! he barely even texted me when he got home. and so, because i was drunk i turned into hysterics. full blown hysterics. i don't know what to do. i love karen, she's my friend. but i'm so jealous of the relationship she has with bob. i'm afraid he may like her and i'll get screwed over again because i slept with him. i don't know what to do. i feel like i'm going crazy.

March 11, 2009
12:51 am
Avatar
_anonymous
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 8
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sounds to me like your two best friends are an item. Since you and Karen have both been in bed with Bob this is what is known as a love triangle.

Since you and Karen have both been in bed with Bob you all have crossed the boundaries of friendship.

The dynamics are a recipe for crazy making and disaster.

Since you and Karen are both competing for Bobs affections that would make both of you working against each other.

Right now all 3 of you know what is going on and to continue as if there is nothing unusual going on is denying that there is a problem.

Its too late for you to get these people out of your life cause they already left you for each other. That is why you feel bad.

March 11, 2009
10:36 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This is a very sad situation, but you have lost TWO friends. They have hooked up together and you have been left behind. I am really sorry because rejection on such an intense level is very, very painful. It will take you awhile to get over this.

Neither one of them is your "friend" now. And never can be. He slept with you...then discarded you and moved on to your "friend."

Let me add this: If "Karen" knew you had sex with "Bob" and that you have feelings for him, yet continued developing a close relationship with him, then she has deeply betrayed your trust and was NEVER your friend. If she did NOT know you, two, had sex together and you developed strong feelings for him as a result, then she did not genuinely betray you.

Again, I am sorry for what you are experiencing. Any chance that you can get into some private counseling, to help you through these difficult days of grieving?

- Ma Strong

March 11, 2009
11:38 am
Avatar
RobynB
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This is a very hurtful situation. This happened to me last August. I was dating a guy who I'll call "Jeff" and he met this girl "Rachel" when we were at the bar one night. She clearly didn't realize that we were together and gestured that he should call her before she left the bar. He nodded his head, but because I trusted him I figured he wouldn't even keep her number. About a month later, I was out of town for the weekend, and when I came home he confessed he had taken her to a mutual friend's child's birthday party, but it was "no big deal." At this point, I was livid. But because I was in denial and afraid to be alone, I slept with him anyways at least two more times. Then, driving home one night, I see her truck at his house. I didn't even bother to call or stop in again for 3 weeks; I just completely severed contact with him. Eventually, he showed up at the bar with her to find me and try to convince me we should all be an item!! lol! By then I was strong enough to know better.

Leave these two behind you. Seek counseling, but by no means should you subject yourself to this pain.

He clearly thinks you are attractive and fun, but he is not going to change his mind and pursue a relationship with you and even if he did, it has to be on his terms, not because you "stole him back" because you'll never trust him anyways.

March 11, 2009
11:47 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am so sorry this happened to you. The best thing to do is going to be hard. Cut all contact with either one of them. Karen told you how she felt about you when Bob called and she got off the phone with you. Bob told you how he felt about you when he went with Karen.

Listen to the advice others here have given you. I know it isn't really what you want to hear but it is what you need to do. Take care of you.

Bitsy

March 18, 2009
9:35 pm
Avatar
danceandbefree
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

last night he told me:
"we talk a lot. and haven't done anything physical. we do like each other though. and i feel shitty about the whole situation"
pretty much. through text message. i was livid. i had to pull over to a parking lot because i was so upset. i was crying, screaming, puncing my stearing wheel. i was so upset. needless to say we talked on the phone. i was so hysterical. i feel used. absolutely 100% used. he says his reasons are that i was emotionally unavailable for a relationship and had said i did not want a boyfriend so i immediately "crushed his hopes." for the record i don't buy into any of that. i told him that because i felt he didn't like me-i didn't even think i had a chance at anything more. i didn't want him to think i am clingy. i'm so codependant! ah! so then he realized he liked karen. i like him. i do. i liked him before we hd sex but never thought i even had chance. all of my friends say i'm so out of his league that it's not even funny. i don't know if that even matters. all i know is that night (last night) i got so drunk after this whole ordeal. i'm a mess. i don't handle these things well. and when we talked once i got home he made all of this out to be my fault. and got mad at ME. and pointed out all of my emotional faults. he told karen. and i called her late last night. she had nothing to say to me. literally. i don't want to bash her but she was so...dumb! she just kept saying "i don't know" or just staying silent. i layed the cards out on the table, asked her what her priorities are and told her what mine are. i feel bad for being upset. but i'm so hurt. and he has the ability to convince me that i am such a basket case and that everything is my fault. i'm so so so sad....i haven't felt this way since my ex and i broke up over a year ago...i hadn't slept with anyone in a year because i pride myself on not sleeping around. and i slept with him. and got screwed over...because i trusted him.

March 19, 2009
1:25 am
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dancenbefree, welcome to the site. I wish you could trust your intuition and go with that. I think you know the answers to the questions you are asking regarding this man. The only way to know if he is lying is if his lips are moving. He is a walking fibber. There isn't an ounce of truth in anything he is saying. I wouldn't be surprised if his wife kicked him out and is calling him back now. Which is why he is heading to Florida. Let this one go. You deserve better.

March 19, 2009
7:48 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You have your answer as hard as it is.

Bitsy

March 19, 2009
8:56 am
Avatar
RobynB
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You know, he sounds like a manipulative irresponsible son of a gun anyways. He's trying to convince you that YOU were the one who crushed all his hopes for a relationship? Please. This guy is a scum and so is Karen. Walk away from their dysfunction.

Don't let them have this power over you. Refuse to answer his calls and hers until they get the picture.

You are out of his league, because you are the only one trying to be honest about the situation and they are acting like idiots. They're not going to change no matter how much you talk to them or tell them how you feel. Quit giving them an opportunity to hurt you. The only way to do that is to sever contact.

They are both clearly hurtful and dramatic people. Just walk away. Actions say more than words.

March 19, 2009
10:33 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Trust me. I have been there. Walk away now and you will have your self respect. Stay and wallow in the s&^% and you will still be beating yourself up a year from now like I am.

Bitsy

March 19, 2009
10:57 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It's over. You know the truth. Step back and leave them alone. If HE is contacting YOU, (rather than vice versa), then change your phone number and end contact.

I know this is really painful for you, but it's been dragging on for quite awhile now. The longer you keep interacting with them and calling them, etc., the longer you will hurt. Let them both go and begin your healing process.

- Ma Strong

March 20, 2009
7:11 pm
Avatar
sexychoclady
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 2
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree let go he is playing games.. You will get threw this in time.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
52 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 110884

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38534

Posts: 714189

Newest Members:

appeksCem, DonaldPat, Testerzqs, JoshuaHew, SpencerJeole, Danielnit

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer