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HELP DON'T WANNA KEEP LEARNING THE SAME LESSON
February 2, 2005
3:51 pm
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sexychocgirl
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HI EVERYONE RECENTLY I ASK MY EX BOYFRIEND TO LEAVE MY APT. WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER AS ROOM MATES. I WAS NOT TURN ON TO HIM SEXUALLY. BUT STILL ATTRACTED TO HIM NOW I HAVE NOT HAD SEX IN MONTHS LOW SEX DRIVE.
THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM FOR ME. HE WAS STAYING WITH ME BECAUSE HE COULD NOT AFFORD
HIS OWN PLACE. NOW ME AND HIM HAVE HAD A VERY COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP FOR THE PASS 2YRS.
IT ALL STARTED WE HE GOT INVOLVE WITH THE WOMAN ACROSS THE STREET. AFTER I PUT HIM OUT THE FIRST TIME.I COULD NOT BELIEVE HE
COULD EMBRASS ME LIKE THAT. SO I DID ALOT OF DEMAGE TO HIS CAR AND GOT ARRESTED.
HE AFTER IT DIDN'T WORK OUT OVER THERE
WE GOT BACK TOGETHER.FIRST TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK. THEN AT SOME POINT I KNEW IT COULD
NOT WORK. IT WAS TOO MUCH WORK. BUT I TOLD HIM HE COULD STAY. MEAN WHILE I LOST INTEREST IN SEX WITH HIM..THE PIONT IS I
WHEN EVER I HAD THE CHANCE WOULD CHECK HIS CELL PHONE TO SEE WHO HE WAS TALKING TO. I
DIDN'T MIND HIM SLEEPING WITH SOME ONE ELSE
BUT NOT THAT WOMAN ACROSS THE STREET. BECAUSE OF WHERE HE LIVES I DIDNT WANT HER SMILING IN MY FACE.SO NOT ONLY DID I SEE HE HAD BEEN TALKIN TO HER I NOTICE HE HAD CALLED MY NEXT DOOR NEIBGHOOR. AND BASED ON THE CONVERSATIONS I HAVE HAD WHEN WE WERE CLOSE I KNOW SHE IS VERY CAPABLE OF SNEAKING TO MEET HIM.OK GUYS I NEED YOUR HELP WHAT THE FU.K IS MY PROBLEM. BECAUSE I
DONT WANNA DEAL WITH HIM GOING BACK ACROSS THE STREET MORE OR LESS NEXT DOOR.NEED FEED BACK....BECAUSE IN MY SICK MIND I AM SORRY FOR PUTTING HIM OUT SO SOME ONE NEAR BY WOULD PICK HIM UP AND I WOULD SEE THEM TOGETHER VERY PAINFUL

February 2, 2005
5:34 pm
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pipeduster
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You don't say, but...I would bet good money you are a woman. We are the biggest codependents on the planet. I have just broken off an online relationship that was totally damaging to me. It was because I was trying to help the person on the other end. Now I see I had to move on.

You will have to exercise self control and not call him back, even. You might have to sit on your hands...call a friend...just anything. Good luck and God bless and believe me, it is so hard!

February 2, 2005
6:15 pm
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sexychocgirl
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THANKS PIPEDUSTER I AM A WOMAN. I PRAYED AND ASKED FOR ANSWERS. I REALLY NEEDED TO HER WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY.I LACK SELF CONTROL AND VERY ANGRY. THAT'S WHY I CHOOSE TO COME BACK TO THIS SITE TO GET FEED BACK FROM PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW ME..

THANKS SO MUCH

February 4, 2005
2:00 pm
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sexychocgirl
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WELL HERE TODAY HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM. THE HEALTY RECOVERING ME SAYS THATS GOOD. KEEP WORKIN ON YOU YOUR DOING GOOD,MAKING MY MEETINGS TAKING UP YOGA GOING TO THERAPY ETC.. THE UNHEALTHY ME WONDERS WETHER HE'S GOING TO MOVE BACK ACROSS THE STREET. I CAUGHT MYSELF LISTENING TO THE WALLTRYING TO LISTEN TO HER CONVERSATIONS SO I COULD HEAR IF SHE WAS TALKING TO HIM.THIS BEHAVIOR IS CRAZY.I MUST SAY BEING HONEST ABOUT WHERE I AM AT IN MY LIFE AND WRITING HAS REALLY GIVEN ME A BETTER SINCE OF SELF.

February 4, 2005
2:21 pm
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kathygy
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First of all please write in lower case. All caps is considered shouting and hard to read.

Why are you holding on to this man? It is only causing you apin. I think you should kick him out and let go. You don't have a relationship with him anymore but you still obsess about what he's doping. That is not healthy and very codependent.

February 4, 2005
5:41 pm
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sexychocgirl
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Kathy
Thanks kathy i did not know that
capitol letters met shouting.and it is easier to read for me.well i was holding on because of fear of dealing with self. and i was comfortable.and even though i don't have a relationship with him i do want to get better.and i knew for along time it was not healthy,and codependent. but i thought that this site is why we are all here. to share,heal and began to recover.i think if i had it all together i would not use this site.what i am saying is thanks for sharing i welcome it but i am under construction at this time and those are my thoughts wish i could say i ask him to leave. and went to this place of peace. nope i get sad,obessive etc. causes that's my process.

February 5, 2005
6:33 am
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sexychocgirl
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Well another day and i must say i am doing ok, my mind wonders what will i do when he calls. I can'say i will run back in to in the pain.Because some healing has began.And the day I ask him to leave I had set boundaries. Inspite of my self. This letting go bussiness is very new it's really not that hard.what's different this time i am not as fearful. i am writing alot in therapy
praying about etc.the only fear I have is having to see him with the girl across the street. or my neighboor next door yikes brings knots to my stomach.And you know what if that happen i will be ok.
Ido no i can't act out like scratch
his car.or call him one thousand times asking how could you do this to me.I gotta keep doing what i am doing....

February 5, 2005
7:30 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hi,

You are getting started in the right direction. Now you need to keep your chin up when you walk outside. This is nothing you have done wrong except have a kind heart.

No, do not answer if he calls; No, don't let him in the apartment; No, do not even talk to him. Tell him you gave it a fair shot and it just didn't work out so go ask one of the girls he's sleepin w/ to take him in.

When you have thoughts of him or of doin in his car, etc. Do your praying, meditation, writing, anything to keep it off your mind.

Time will make things easier. Honestly.

February 5, 2005
9:23 am
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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Jesus christ, either you're ugly and desperate or brain is a rock.

Go see other people, you'll find out that there are guys that are smarter, friendlier, less problems, and happier than your ex.

And use condom.

February 5, 2005
9:39 am
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lilacwine05
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Jason that was definately not called for and not necessary.

She needs some support or a place to vent right now....you saying that stuff might seem like you are being obvious or blunt but it's not helpful!

February 5, 2005
10:00 am
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Anonymous
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"Spare the rod, spoil the child."

I want to be real. I want to help. And I hope people here will do the same for me. We don't need care-bears with lies.

She can't get a hug here, so mind as well be real and help her.

lilacwine05,
I never insulted your intelligence, but you insulted mine. Simple things amuse simple mind. You can do better by capping on the grammar.

February 5, 2005
10:45 am
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lilacwine05
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was never meaning to insult anyone's intelligence; that's great you want to be helpful but you don't need to resort to calling people stupid or ugly.

I know the point you are trying to make though; whatever rocks your boat.

February 5, 2005
12:21 pm
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CAMER
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hi Sexy, you have been with him for 2 years, do you want to spend another 2 more with his behavior?? can't you just have him move out, and know that you deserve a better relationship with a man, even though you may be friends now, just dealing with all he is doing with dating the girl across the street.....Time to stand tall, and stand proud and know you deserve the best in the world, and face your fears, and that may be by being alone, living alone, you can do this, I have done this in the past and made it!!! Think of all the positive qualities you have and then try, at least try, to have him move out, you will survive, i promise, good luck! ((camer))

February 6, 2005
7:04 am
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sexychocgirl
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Thank you Mama,Camer,and espeically
Lilla for standing up for me with the negative feed back.I have seen most of you guys names giving support good advise in a loving way..
now Jason i am not looking for care bears on this site.I happen to be a very attractive girl with a whole lot of fucking issues. And i use this site as a forum to share,listen,
heal,try to heal and recover.In my post i ask for feed bad,and welcome yours, just very glad i didn't allow what you said run me away from the site thinking i could not get know love here. or this site i can't really be honest and get the support we need.THE SAD PART ABOUT THIS IS IF YOUR HERE ON THIS SITE IT'S BECAUSE YOUR NOT ALL THERE. GET IT..
YOU FUCKED UP TOO.. AND I WOULD NEVER
GIVE YOU NOTHING BUT LOVE,WHEN IT IS CLEAR YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SOMTHING.AFTER A FEW POST IN MY MIND WE NO WHEN WE NEED TO GIVE TOUGH LOVE. YOU DONT KNOW ME I JUST STARTED POSTING A FEW DAYS AGO.

February 6, 2005
7:38 am
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lilacwine05
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Hi Sexychocgirl

hope you continue to post; good luck with everything.

Lilacwine

February 6, 2005
9:20 am
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CAMER
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Way to go Sexy!!!! I too agree that what Jason said was just wrong...and I kinda didn't want to go on with an argument with him about it, so i left it alone.

And as Lila said, keep posting...and I do hope all works out well.

We will get you thru this the best that we can, ok!!

(((camer))

February 6, 2005
3:07 pm
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lovelyladyl
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keep posting girl...there are people who relate to you in some way, your not alone in this and everyone on this site wants to help in one way or another. Keep on moving on and this to shall pass. You'll be a better woman.

February 6, 2005
3:09 pm
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sexychocgirl
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Hi,Camer,Lilac,really wanna thank you
it's the people like you.The reason i
keep coming back,know matter what.

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