Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
HELP - dating
January 11, 2002
4:31 pm
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm going on a date tonight with a friend (another man). My problem is I'd rather be with my man-friend, than on this date. Would it be horrible to call him up after I get home and go over? Would you do that? What's appropriate? It's been a while since I've dated...

January 11, 2002
4:35 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

If you don't want to go on the date, then why did you agree to it ? Or are you just full of fear because its been a while since dating ? I am confused, duh

January 11, 2002
4:36 pm
Avatar
gypsygirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I do that all the time. I sometimes go on two dates in one day, but then again there are a few of me. Do what makes you happy and do not judge yourself.

January 11, 2002
5:10 pm
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I've never been the dating type. My man-friend and I have known each other for quite some time. We love to be together and it goes without saying. The problem is that there are interesting men asking me out, and I say to myself "that sounds like fun." I wish it had been my man-friend who asked instead, but he didn't.

Gypsy:
What would make me happy would be to be with man-friend, instead of this date. I just don't want him to get the idea that I'm waiting around for him. Don't want to be taken for granted. Make sense?

January 11, 2002
5:38 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

If you don't want to be taken for granted, then I would suggest that you do not go over to the man-friend afterwards to give him a rundown of the date. Call up someone else instead.

January 11, 2002
5:47 pm
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hm. ok.

January 11, 2002
6:06 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

*sigh*

...the games we *all* play... atta-girl, Artist2. 🙂

January 11, 2002
9:38 pm
Avatar
atw
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey cool...I do the same thing!!! Why don't you take the fun ideas these dates suggest and ask the man-friend to go instead. I mean you could spend more time with him doing different things and maybe he would get the idea!! DON"T give him the rundown of your dates though. Then, if he has feelings now he has competition. I know he is also your friend but he has feelings too. I mean always put yourself in the others shoes. How would you handle it reversed. That often helps me.

January 12, 2002
1:11 am
Avatar
damaged
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dating I guess it's time to start. I hope that people that I ask out don't play games with me. I have never dated except in highschool when everyone had a date with a guy, and the boy did the asking. Now if I want to meet or get to know some new people I have to start dating and it kind of scares me. I called a girl for the first time a few days ago so I know I can do it. Let me ask you straight women a Question if I approched you and ask you out (not knowing if you were straight or not) would it afend you? Would you be nice or tell me off? I am new at this dating thing. Befor I was always drunk and I always got into relationships with friends and I never really had to go after them.

If I lived closer to NYC I would ask Blondie out to the movies or something.

January 12, 2002
1:48 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Damaged, the thing is, it shouldn't matter at first if the person is gay or straight. If you are looking for a mate, then only ask where you are certain. Dating, isn't just about sex, its about spending time with people having a good time, talking, sharing experience, and discovering commonalities. Find a friend, and then you will have a foundation, if you decide to become lovers. don't put so much pressure on your self. Maybe you can think of it as a fun thing instead of truth or consequences.

January 12, 2002
5:10 pm
Avatar
damaged
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Molly I really like what you just said here. I would like to think it was this way but I am not so for sure. I don't know why because all my relationships have been with straight women. I need not to worry about a relationship and just have fun.

January 12, 2002
5:52 pm
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Man friend told me today he doesn't want to sleep with me anymore. He says he's depressed and can't open himself up to it anymore. He says he still wants to be with me, just not sex anymore. What the hell does this mean? He thought I was waiting around for him to fall in love with me. I actually was not waiting... it would have been nice, but I dont' know if I could have handled it anyway. He told me he just doesn't feel it. He asked me if this was enough for me. He said if I wanted to pursue romance with someone I'm dating, that he wants me to have that, because he can't do it. I keep telling him I like the way things are between us. The sex is okay, not earth-shaking or anything. What is better than the act is his touch, his physical closeness. He's okay with doing that still.

I'm really just getting this stuff out for now. I don't know what any of it means at all. I'm not asking for anythign from him and told him no sex is okay with me.

January 12, 2002
7:03 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Gee, it really sounds like a 20 year marriage all ready, har har har

January 12, 2002
7:22 pm
Avatar
SuzyQ
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Damaged,
I am straight, but if I were asked out by another woman I would decline in that way, but still would be flattered. I know a young girl who was dating another girl for awhile and the other girl decided that she wasn't a lesbian. This really upset the girl I know, but she handled it gracefully. What is awesome is that I think they are still friends.

January 13, 2002
11:19 am
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey does anyone have any advice for me?

January 13, 2002
12:35 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Artist, sorry, So, was this a reaction to your date, or just a proclamation by man friend ? maybe you disapointed him ? Maybe he doesn't want to compete ? Maybe its just like it seems a really good relationship, where sex isn't so urgent, kinda like a 20 year marriage.

The thing is rather than conforming to what his needs are, what are your needs, and what are you willing to do about them ? What do you really want ? Can't manipulate him, but you can accept reject, search, ignore or take some initiative to get your needs met ?

January 13, 2002
9:34 pm
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yeah, thanks Mol. I think I know what I can be satisfied with from him, and he's able to give it. Guess maybe it's not so much of a problem... One thing someone asked me was "What do you want in a relationship a year from now? Will he be able to give it then? Will he always have these issues?" So, it's something to think about.

January 14, 2002
8:03 am
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

So, more advice was to try things the way he wants: no sex, but snuggling is ok. Try that for a month and see how it feels then. Can it be done for 11 more months? We'll see... Part of it frusrates me - not allowing for a complete relationship by having sex. Which does ask for opening up and a bonding. He basically doesn't want to bond with me - or with anyone else. I dont' take it personally, because I understand it. The situation is keeping me from valuable intimacy. But, on the other hand intimacy takes time and trust. Perhaps this is where this is headed? I have my doubts... but ideally since we're so much the same it would be wonderful should we get to that point.

January 14, 2002
12:08 pm
Avatar
gingerleigh
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Chill out, girlfriend. Why the big push for "intimacy"? What hole are you trying to fill up with someone else? Sounds like he has some holes that he wants to fill up inside himself and has recognized that doing that through another person opens himself up for all kinds of hurts. Wise man. What about you? Why the push? What's lacking?

January 14, 2002
2:33 pm
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Gosh, thank you so much for the refreshing viewpoint. Actually I'm pretty satisfied with the way things are. I'd love to be the recipient of that kind of love FROM HIM, because we're so close anyway and to have that even closer would be wonderful.

I really will think about chilling out. He says I feed him, I fill him up - he means physically (with food) and emotionally (with affection)... so he doesn't want more? He's afraid to be hurt - this is true. So am I.

Why the push? I'm impatient... but love is patient, love is kind. I won't show my impatience with him.

My quandry it he's the only one I want that with. He says if someone else comes along that I want to be intimate with, to go ahead. He doesn't want to hold me back from having intimacy in my life. But, I want to wait for him. I'm being really silly. I doubt he'll ever come around and I'm probably wasting my time with him.

January 14, 2002
2:50 pm
Avatar
gypsygirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Girl, you are putting way too much emphasis on sex. ( wait is this really me saying this?) Just hang out and have fun, go to the damn adult bookstore and get a few toys. If you put off the vibe that sex is what your about than you will lose him, Get to know yourself better and maybe you will figure out why you want to rush into the sack so fast when he is not ready. You are worth more than sex girlfriend. When you wake up in the morning what is it that you realy want from the day? Is it to have sex? Is it to have a meaningful relationship? Think about what it is that you really want and decide if he is the person that can give it to you. There is nothing wrong with having sex, but he dosent want it, so go with it or move on to someone who will have sex.

January 14, 2002
2:54 pm
Avatar
gypsygirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think I am ill. I cant believe I really said that.

January 14, 2002
3:38 pm
Avatar
artist 2
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

YOU go girl.... thanks so much for your candidness and openness... I don't own one of those things. Perhaps I should go shopping?

January 14, 2002
7:14 pm
Avatar
gypsygirl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

want me to go with?

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
28
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714259
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information