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Help, Co-dependent
January 25, 2005
11:00 am
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herekitty
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September 24, 2010
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Hi all!
this is my first time on this site and was wondering if anyone can help. I've been depressed and had tons of anxiety (which I've been taking medication for) and just started to seek therapy. We figured out that I am pretty much a co-dependent person. I believed I learned it from my mother. Well, I am trying to move out of a relationship now and it's been very hard because I believe he is co-dependent as well. I am the one who brought up the whole leaving him thing and I do need too so I can get in touch with myself, and I know he is going to have to go through the feelings and emotions that he is going to have to go through, but he is trying to make me feel aweful about it. I offered to help with the rent and change over the bills which were all under my name (co-dependent) and he just was crying and telling me that he doesn't even know how to write a check, do the laundry,etc.. He also has no liscense to drive right now , which I also said I would help him get back as well. Here I am feeling bad again.... always wanting to help someone... any suggestions?
Sincerely,

Co-dependent
and learning

January 25, 2005
4:14 pm
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DEELY
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September 29, 2010
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HELLO,
I AM CO DEPENDENT AS WELL. I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE ONE WITH MY NAME ON THE BILLS AND THE ONE WITH THE LAST SAY. MY HUSBAND IS VERY CO DEPENDENT AS WELL. HE AND I ARE LEARNING TO DEAL WITH IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. I AM VERY CO DEPENDENT ON MY MOM AND SISTER. MY LIFE IS UPSIDE DOWN BECAUSE I TRYED TO HELP SOMEONE AND THEY TOOK ME FOR EVERYTHING I HAD. TRY NOT TO FEEL TO BAD AND TRY NOT TO LET ANYONE RUIN YOUR LIFE. YOU NEED TO MAKE YOU THE MOST INPORTANT THING NOT HIM. IF I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN SAFE AND SECURE BUT NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT MY FUTURE HAS IN IT. I WANT TO ALWAYS HELP AS WELL AND IT HAS TAKEN EVERYTHING PLEASE THINK REAL HARD BEFORE YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE.

DEELY

January 25, 2005
5:28 pm
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Phalic_Liberator
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There is no such thing as codependent. If you have a therapist who uses that as a disease model you should threaten to sue him over boundary violations if he ever uses that word with you again.

Get the fuck out of that relationship, now! You shouldn't have to do it because you're "finding yourself". I just saw about twenty more reasons infinitely more important based upon what I want out of a relationship to leave the chump.

He isn't your responsibility. You're an adult now and it is not up to you to re-parent this individual.

January 26, 2005
6:24 pm
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trevig
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September 24, 2010
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sometimes we all feel comfort and false security as a co dependent person fear is what makes us stay in an unhealthy relationship you have to look at what your laking in your own life and why as a co-dep we have to control others

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