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HELP 911
April 16, 2007
1:28 pm
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katarina
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Ok, here is the situation. my best friends husband keeps calling me. He wants to have sxx with me he says. he called me eight times. he even called me this morning! I am so upset. he told me some really disgusting things! I don't know what to do. I want to tell her but, I don't know.

April 16, 2007
2:34 pm
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feelingfree
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Katarina~

Is this something that just started out of the blue, or have you been friends with him? Just a little background please. Obviously you should tell him to stop calling you, period.

April 16, 2007
2:48 pm
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on my way
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That is unacceptable, and I would file a restraining order!

April 16, 2007
3:49 pm
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atalose
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Why do you keep taking his calls?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

April 16, 2007
4:24 pm
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Honolulugal
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Hi Katarina,

May I offer my two cents? If this gal is really your best friend, put yourself in her place. What would you want done?

I know from experience that friendships break up over stuff like this. My BF's husband told me that he really wanted me, from the beginning and only took her as seconds, after he asked me out and I said "no, not my type." He said I was the big attraction, etc. I was FLOORED because I saw such a successful marriage and partnership from my viewpoint.

Well, I didn't tell her right away (he only said this one night when we were up drinking, late and she'd gone to bed). Sorry I didn't, but the marriage went on for another 3 years or so. She was the one blindsided when he came home one day and said "I don't love you...I'm leaving". After this, I told her what he had said. She was mad enough at me for not telling her, that she didn't speak to me for a year or so after.

She did come around and we renewed the friendship with vows to be totally honest in future. We're still friends and it's been 11 years since the dick left. She's happily remarried the past 10 years.

Question again, how would YOU want this dealt with?

For me, it made me uncomfortable around this guy each time I saw him. He had the good grace never to mention it again (and sure as HELL never asked me for sex, even once) but you cannot unring that bell.

If you value your friend's feelings and friendship, I would FIRST tell this troublemaker to hit the bricks and that I would most certainly tell her if he didn't. Then, I'd tell her anyway. This will come out and you'd better get your side set up B/4 he starts telling tall tales.

Worse, though, he's out there looking and he'll find it. She's in an untenable sitch that WILL get worse. She's gonna be exposed to STDs and worse, if he has his way, which he will.

What do you think now?

H.

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