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heartbroken male: still not there yet
January 2, 2006
7:06 pm
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I was doing so well for so long. Today I just felt like sh*t. Why though? I don't know why I feel so sad today. I looked at an old picture of my ex and had a wave of emotion come over me. Man this sucks. I thought I was out of the dark cloud. I can't believe I still miss her. I am so much better than this. I couldn't imagine opening myself up to somebody else just to go through this type of pain again. DAMN!

January 2, 2006
7:57 pm
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kasie919
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Hopefull: dont get down, it will pass..

imsure its just a minor set back, we all have em, lord knows i sure do..

Im most positive you have alot going for you..

think of other things than her..
i know easier sadi then done right??

When we love someone, and let them go, we never forget,no matter what, its just a way of life, love never goes away, we just teach ourselves how to not live with it..

You will overcome this i promise you..

I have all the faith in the world for you..

Love kasie

January 2, 2006
8:12 pm
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LittleSecret
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Hi hopefull,
Sometimes it helps me to think of how far you have come, (and you have done really well from what I have read,) and then think about how all of that effort would have been wasted if you take a backward step.
Everyday you make it through your strength grows, feel your strength, feel how well you have done.
You are right though, you are MUCH better than this!!!

Keep strong, we are here...

January 2, 2006
9:06 pm
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reese26
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It's amazing how one minute you are ok and then the next, the pain reappears. I know exactly how you feel and it happens a lot. The only way for me to get past the pain of losing an ex, was to find someone new. Trust me, don't go that route...it only makes things worse. I still get those waves of emotions about my ex. It happens when I look at his picture, read old cards...and the worst I think is when I have a dream about him. I wake up so sad and stay that way for the rest of the day. It is hard to believe that we broke up 2 years ago and I still have those feelings. However, if I don't push myself to be unhappy...then it is a lot easier to not think of it. What do I mean by this? I used to take out the old cards and pictures and look through them and just cry. It was like, I wanted to be unhappy...because if I cried hard enough, and was as unhappy as possible, I really thought God would change it all, that God would bring my ex back to me and everything would be ok. It was crazy thinking, and I won't lie, I still do this at times. However, you don't have to do this insane behavior. Yes, a breakup makes us unhappy naturally, but we don't have to make it harder on ourselves. So I suggest taking all the stuff that reminds you of her and putting it in a box. Take the box and put it somewhere you can't see it. Trust me, I know it seems stupid, but it helps. There are still times when I take the box out, and hope that God will see how unhappy I am and change things, but the unhappiness is no longer staring me in the face, and consuming me.

January 2, 2006
9:19 pm
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Thank you all so much. Reese26 you said something that struck a chord with me. 'It is like I wanted to be unhappy...you hoped that God would see how unhappy you were and would changes things.' Perfectly said. There are times I look forward to being by myself so I can have a break down. I may be looking for pity from God. I can't think of any other reason I would put myself in a position for an emotional outburst. Thanks all.

January 2, 2006
10:40 pm
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helpplease
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Hi there hopeful. I had one of those days today. I was missing my ex like crazy. I was remembering all the good things, his magical blue eyes, his big manly hands, his cute butt, the way he expanded and stimulated my brain. I miss it all. It's like you suddenly forget all the pain you went through when you were together and can only remember the good. Anyhow, I ended up calling a couple of friends who reassured me it was for the best, who reminded me of how truly unhappy I was with our struggles and who also helped me understand my part in it ending. My moodiness, my irritation. I suppose there's never a clear answer. But we all go through this. And there's much to learn when we do. I can't ever imagine finding someone else at the moment. But you have to have hope, right? If it was so good with your ex, you'd be with that person right now. I read that in a book and I have to keep reminding myself of it. Good luck. Feel better. XX, HP

January 3, 2006
12:51 am
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overcome
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Hopeful,

Not sure if this will help or not, but I always go with the idea that what is meant to be will be. I mean if you and your ex are ultimately meant to be, then it will happen in time. If it is not then, it will not.

The bottom line is that you need to pick yourself up and continue on. There are reasons that you two are not together. The human mind is amazing. When we look back on things, we always tend to magnify the good that happened. For example, a so-so vacation in "real time" will become an incredible vacation when it is looked back upon. A relationship that had its holes in "real time" will be looked back at as something special that was so "perfect".

Try to think of some reasons you are not together. Think of some things she did that made you angry. Put them in your head when you feel upset or missing her. That may help.

The last thing I will tell you is that NO ONE, abslolutely NO ONE, is worth you destroying and torturing yourself over. You were a person prior to that relationship and, if you allow yourself, you will be an even better person for what you have been through after that relationship!

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