Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Healing wound irritated today
August 25, 2006
3:46 pm
Avatar
be_a_screen
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I was in love with someone who denied two years of mixed messages. I had hopes and dreams of being married to each other, and a future with children. I spent the last year grieving those losses and feel mostly out of the woods. But today I saw something that just nipped at the wound. He got married seven months after my confrontation with him and he and his wife just had a baby. I know there is hope in the future - but for today it really hurt, and felt unfair that he should have a child after all the deception. I have tried so hard to live my life based on integrity, faith, and determination to learn lessons from mistakes. I want a loving husband and children and he used two key years of my life feeding me stuff, even as questions came up the deception was squelched. Obviously it is my responsibility to make my own life but I am so angry that he is getting what I wanted. It is more difficult to have children as I am getting older, but the trust wound was the worst. I can only say that I feel like I've done the healing work to put trust in the right perspective and still see the need to take some chances in order to reach some of the things I'd like to have in my life. It just reminded me that sometimes life is not fair in the moment.

August 25, 2006
5:15 pm
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Rest assured that he's probably not living the fairytail life that you see. From the timetable that you mentioned above, it looks as though she was preganant before they actually got married. And is seven months really enough time to get to know someone? If she had given it more time she may have discovered what you already know... he's not trustworthy. Be thankful that you had the strength and the self-esteem to seek a better life for yourself with someone who IS trustworthy and can offer you the life that you are looking for - and in a loving, healthy way. If you have faith, you will eventually see that your timing may not necessarily match with the timing of your higher power. Believe that that power knows what's best for you, and when. Be strong and know you are right where you are meant to be... you're getting stronger by the day, and you will attract someone of equal strength when the time is right. Your life will fall into place, just keep your faith, integrity and determination at an all time high, and you'll get there.

August 25, 2006
5:44 pm
Avatar
be_a_screen
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Shaney,

Thanks for replying and validating me and repeating back to me my values- I just needed a place to say my feelings. Actually she got pregnant three months after they got married. The trustworthy piece is something that is so important to convey - this cuts to the core for me - but I at least live happily with who I am as a person. It just was a hurtful situation that reminds me that it was not meant for me.

August 25, 2006
6:10 pm
Avatar
Shaney
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 4
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know how you feel... honesty is a true essential for me, in ANY relationship. That one rule, has allowed me surround myself with those that are worthy of my love and friendship - and let go of those who aren't. Sometimes its not that easy, but the results are my reward. Stay the way you are - it will pay off.

It's great, that in retrospect, you realize you're in a better place. There are things that happen in my own life, today, that remind me of the crappy things that I have gone through in the past. But the past has made me who I am today. And in looking back, it may have taken me a while to make the right decision, but I eventually did... and that's a sign of a good person. Good people, I believe, find true happiness. Mainly because we can live with ourselves. And that one person who FINALLY sees what great people we really are (stop and pat yourself on the back here), can live with us too :o)... lol.

August 25, 2006
6:43 pm
Avatar
doubleloss
Guest
Guests

I hear you. I can only imagine how it would feel to now xbf or xh have moved on like that, whether they are happy or not. Hang in there. Your turn will come.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
29
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111039
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38581
Posts: 714351
Newest Members:
kozakor, cabaccum, tayecok, serebrina, zanehamilton, HowardWow1997
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information