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He may have to stop treatment-how should i handle it?
September 30, 2008
4:50 pm
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lovesangels28
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September 27, 2010
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Hello, I've posted before about my boyfriend who is addicted to painkillers, he is going to a methadone clinic but because it is so far away and we are low on funds he may have to stop for awhile- I feel like the bad guy because it is me who is making the ultimate decision (we use my car to go everyday and it is to much wear on a 1990 cavalier and too much gas) i feel like he has to think of his recovery which i support but i have to think of the rest of our needs- so now that he may have to stop he is going to go through strong withdrawel (unless he goes back to street pills) and when that happens he is in much pain and sometimes scares me with yelling and violent (he never hits me but he hits walls and breaks things). I feel really bad. Why is it that when you try to do the right thing (like him getting help for his addiction) the world makes you go back to doing the wrong thing? Thank you for all of your help- you guys are such a blessing.

September 30, 2008
5:01 pm
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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don't feel like the bad guy or gal (lol)....just know this is HIS recovery and he has to find the ways and means of getting to it, paying for it etc....he may have to hit "rock bottom" b4 that happens. This is his life, he got into the addicition and now has to get out of it....he can't keep looking at you for a "car" or "funds" etc...this is about him. Yes, you can still love him, you just don't have to "rescue" him each time...its called "detachment" with love.

Now is his time to find out how he can pay for and get to the clinics...its up to him, and if he chooses to go back to drugs that is his choice, if you choose to stay with him while he is drugging, that is your choice.

I wish you luck, hon...(((camer)))

September 30, 2008
5:09 pm
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lovesangels28
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thank you camer that was some great insight- if he wants treatment he will make it happen- i guess its the caretaker and my own sickness that makes me want to fix things for him- It fans my vanity and need for control- so i guess i'll tell him that i support him and he needs to find another ride- we'll see how that one goes- thanks again

September 30, 2008
5:10 pm
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fantas
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September 29, 2010
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I agree with Camer, you aren't responsible for his recovery. If he wants to recover, he needs to do whatever it will take to clean up. He can atay in a halfway or transition house near the methadone clinic. He can ask his counselor at the clinic to help him come up with solutions. He should be grateful for what you have done for him this far and not blame you for anything. You also need to go to Nar Anon and work on your codependency issues so that you learn to put yourself first and not caretake. Keep posting.

September 30, 2008
11:19 pm
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lostagain27
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September 24, 2010
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Years ago i too was with an addict of painkillers but he had the insurance to put him through a week detox withougt having to do methadone. Is this detox programs that many hospitals have...out of the queston for your boyfriend.

I have to say that i agree with others that you need to let him figure out what he wants and if he wants to get sober.

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