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He left me - support needed :-(
October 10, 2009
11:33 am
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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my partner is an alcoholic. sorry actually he is my ex partner. i told him on thursday that i cant live with him any more and that he needs to prove he loves me and can be there for me apart from each other.i didnt mention the drinking. he hit the roof and left and said he never wanted to see me again. i am totally devastated. i havent heard anything from him. all his stuff is in my house and the only thing he took with him was his bottles and cigarettes. i know lots of people on here have been through this. how long does it take to start to feel even a little better? he treated me like dirt but i still want him and even thinking of all the bad stuff doesnt change the way i feel. i feel totally lost at sea and cant face life without him.

October 10, 2009
1:01 pm
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Marika
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Well, it'll happen one day at a time (and sometimes 1 minute at a time). I know right now you feel too devastated to even think of feeling better, but I promise you that you will. (((B&H)))

October 10, 2009
2:58 pm
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atalose
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benson,

Sounds to me like you really don’t have any true plans to end this relationship and move on any time soon.

You issued him an ultimatum- you can’t live with him any more and that HE needs to prove HIS love to YOU apart from each other – you didn’t truly end the relationship. Two very different things. You are putting YOUR hope and faith on HIM proving HIS LOVE to YOU when you already have that answer – you just don’t like what that answer is.

Active alcoholics are in love, they are in love with themselves and their bottles, period and they will allow no one to come in between. Even though you didn’t mention his drinking to him – remember – what we permit we promote, he knows exactly where you are coming from.

Has alcohol always been apart of your relationship with him?

Have you given any thought to attend al-anon for yourself?

He’s not gone, his stuff is still there and he’s not dumb, he’s waiting until YOU reach out to him or the waters calm so things can get back to normal and he can get on with his drinking and his life. Remember – what we permit we promote.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

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