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he is stalking me....
July 28, 2007
10:53 am
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mean girl
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I went out last night because he has our child every friday, well he some how found me and would not leave me alone. I don't know what to do. I also went to go wash my car and he showed up there to wash his car. I have never expected this from him. Do yall think that I should get a restraing order against him, or tell once more that he needs to leave me alone?

July 28, 2007
12:37 pm
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fantas
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Mean girl, Both! I dealt with a stalker ex before and it can get a little scary. Without a RO there is nothing the authorities can do.

He has your daughter so you might have to arrange for a middle place where someone else brings her back and forth between the two of you.

All the best. Keep us posted.

July 28, 2007
12:43 pm
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loverbee
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You need to draw some very clear boundries to be drawn here and I would suggest a warning of a RO. Only because it doesn't seem like there are grounds yet for it but I could be wrong. I don't know.

July 28, 2007
11:48 pm
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ACryForHelp
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If you are afraid then make the drop off of your child be at a police station.

Legally, if you want him to do it that way he needs to... If you have a lawyer tell her/him what is happening so s/he can draw up official papers saying that you should trade off the child at a police station!!

Whatever you do DO NOT BE QUIET about this... Tell EVERYONE you know what you belive is going on...

They get away with it because most chicks don't tell enough people...

At least then, worst case senario, if anything happens there will be records and witnesses!

And that is the most important part... Documentation!

If you don't go to the cops then there is nothing they can do.

yell as loud as you can until someone listens to you.

Good luck! My thoughts are with you! *HUG* You will get through this!

July 29, 2007
12:17 am
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_anonymous
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mean girl I thought you were on friendly terms with him. What happened? Even though you are not with him they do tend to get jealouse if they think you might be involved with another man. It could get ugly.

July 29, 2007
2:48 am
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mamacinnamon
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mean girl:

I totally agree w/ ACry. You must tell folks around you what is goin on. Let the neighbors know so they csn watch the house and/or neighborhood. My evil-x used to be in my house when I got home. You need to get the neighbors involved. A lot of times folks will say they don't want to be involved. Tell them you are worried for the safety of you AND your little girl. When a child is put into the mix then folks want to help more.

Document every type contact and every time contact is made, whether by phone or in person or email. Set your boundaries and do not waiver from them. Put them in writing and put why you are setting the boundaries and what the boundaries are. Then send his attorney and your attorney a copy. And yes, let the attorneys know what is goin on. Sometimes your own attorney, or in this case his own attorney, may be just the warning that will cause him to back down.

Where is your daughter while he stalking you? He has her for the visitation time, yes? If he is gonna drag her around so he can keep an eye on you then that is not productive visitation and you might be able to do something about it.

Take this very seriously. You know him; we don't. But I will tell you that a man backed into a corner will come out biting, and he may not be handling your moving on. I don't know your story so I really cannot elaborate more. Best to you.

July 29, 2007
7:56 am
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taj64
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If you live near each other and frequent the same spots then perhaps it is coincidence that you are running into each other. Try going to different places where he does not frequent. Plus you would get to meet new people. There is no law that says he cannot be in a public place. Until your severed relationship is past the turmoil and the anger and both of you have moved on, running into each other is bound to be very uncomfortable so if you can be reasonable with him, tell him that you are uncomfortable. Maybe he too will frequent other places. I don't know your story very well, I do not read all the threads but it sounds as if space and time is going to do wonders for the both of you. You share a daughter together and she is going to be in both of your lives. It would be better for her if two of you could get along better and not put her in the middle of it. For now think about your needs and happiness. If you are going out to have fun, go somewhere different. Or better yet, if you have the means, move away, out of the neighborhood. These are all just suggestions though I do not know your story and if this is the right advice for you and how serious it is. I think in order to get a restaining order you would have to be able to prove that is stalking you and actually following you. If this is a recent breakup then it is possible that neither of you are in position to deal with it just yet and the anger just needs to die down. Time is universal healer to all wounds. Even very deep ones. And you want to get past this for your daughter's sake. She deserves a drama free life if you can help it. Good luck to you.

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