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He has something of mine, & I want them back
November 9, 2004
12:16 am
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on my way
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Please let's pass some ideas reagarding an issue with an ex-boyfriend. For a year he has had something that belongs to me. He said he would return it, did not. I have been invited over to pick them up, did not. I have made plans to go over to pick them up, but because of work, or FEAR, I have not. I can go when he is there, or I can go when he is not there. I would prefer to go when he is there, so I can at least say hello, goodbye, and I have no clue how this will effect me, but I think it will help actually. I reawlly think that he could hav eput this stuff in the mail to me, but he hasn't, and he probably won't..and on and on and on!! Gee I have lost track of what I was going to ask..LOL!! Any thoughts regarding such? Havng to have things perfect before I go...does anyoen relate to the "perfectionist" attitude at all?

November 9, 2004
12:25 am
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mamacinnamon
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Sometimes it's better to just let go and start over. Is it sentimental things or can they be replaced?

November 9, 2004
12:33 am
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Not sentimental but irreplacable. And he knows they are to me. I have actually tried to decide for a year if I really want them back, and I do. But for some reason it feels like 'groveling' and I hate that!

November 9, 2004
12:41 am
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mamacinnamon
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If you want them back that badly, then groveling may be what it takes to get them back.

Would there be someone that could pick them up for you so you don't have to be involved?

To bad that some people love to hold something over your head just because they can.

November 9, 2004
1:04 am
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LEILEI
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on my way - it looks as though you have bounced back and forth as to the importance of this item and have concluded that it is important enough to retrieve this item. Now it also appears you have the option to go when he is there or when he is not there, so personally, I think you want to see him, for reasons other than the valuable item. Do you need closure or are you having a week moment - do you still feel for him? I just want to make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons, since you have postponed it 2x. You are the only one who knows your true motives. I feel maybe your emotionally still attached or the fear factor wouldn't have stopped you before. It's a tough call. Just be clear in your mind of your intentions before setting out on that journey, so you can feel good no matter what the outcome brings. Smile!

November 9, 2004
1:16 am
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Good point mamacinammon about "holding soemthing over my head" that could be wha tis going on here. And Leilei, my motive is partially closure, and partially knowing that I need to forgive. And picking up these items is sort of a formal way of saying goodbye. I don't know why but I sometimes have to DO something in order for it to gel. To silently walk away, while he has my things, that I let him borrow, is like a final goodbye. oooh, I just had a horrible thought..Ihope it isn't one-upman -ship! I HOPE my heart is in the right place, I hope my motives ar pure. Yes I still feel for him, I always will...and that is okay. I think when we try to say that we can't feel is when we get into trouble. So I do have feelings, even if I meet someone else, he will always hold that special place...but what I do with that will determine what happens. I am walking away day by day...but sheesh, I just want my things, that he should have returned anyway...thanks!!!

November 9, 2004
2:23 am
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LEILEI
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on my way: It appears as if you answered your own question. You sound very sure of yourself and of your true intentions. I am confident you will retrieve your personal items, and leave enlightened and renewed. It will also be a sigh of relief getting back what is near and dear. Good luck and let us know how it went.

November 9, 2004
5:04 pm
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Thank you for the encouragement. I will let you know. 🙂

November 9, 2004
8:01 pm
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Zinnie
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Ask a friend to go get them for you.

November 9, 2004
9:47 pm
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Hi Zinnie, ok but why do you say thst?

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