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He broke the no contact order
May 27, 2007
9:40 am
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AQueen
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September 27, 2010
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I don't know if I told you guys that my ex started calling and leaving messages about a week ago. I wasn't home to receive the calls so he wasn't able to get ahold of me--yet. Yesterday I was sitting here on the computer and the phone rang--it was him. He called to ask if I could bring him a copy of his drivers license since he got robbed for his wallet and needed to show his ID in order to get his medication from his drug treatment center. I didn't want to do it but I knew without the medication he would be very very very sick throughout the whole weekend. I feel for it, kind of. I said I would bring it but it was the only copy I happened to have and if he lost it then he was on his own in regards to finding a way to get a new one. He's living on the streets using drugs, really crazy life. Anyways I pull up and hand him the copy and I kept my doors locked so he couldn't hop in or if he was crazy on drugs so maybe pull me out of my car in anger of something weird. He was crying and begging for another chance and I told him no. I told him nothing has changed and I have to be there for our son. He can't act like a helpless child forever. He has warrants again and I told him that's not my fault. He needs to take care of business. He claims he wants to see his son but he has to call and set it up and he hasn't do it yet. I made it like that on purpose so he would have to put forth some effort. He asked if we could talk, if he could sit in my car. I said no and said there is NOTHING to discuss and I left. I warned him, if he contacts me again I will notify the police that he is breaking the no contact order and he will do about six months in jail due to his record. I enabled him for so long he acts like he forgot basic life skills. He claims he needs help making phone calls blah blah blah. I told him he has no friggin problem calling so and so for some drugs so he can make a basic phone call to take care of his warrants, make healthcare appointments, etc. Of course that didn't make him happy when I said that. After he started calling last week I started thinking of him more than usual. Not wishing things were all good because I'm happy with his whining complaining ass not around. Yesterday confirmed that. I do well with ZERO contact. I'm happy I didn't give in to him as far as letting him get in my car so he could butter me up. I dropped off the copy of his id and told him to leave me alone or he would go to jail and left. He asked if he should find a new girlfriend or if there is a chance for us. I said that I personally feel he should worry about getting sober not starting new realtionships. I also said I guess that confirms everything I thougth about you, that you used me because the minute I'm not doing doing doing for you that's when you just say whatever. You don't even want to be better. So let him find someone new. He's all dirty and nasty from living on the streets, yeah that will work out--NOT. Maybe he'll find a girl that's homeless and they'll be homeless together. I don't know. It's not my problem. I didn't cause it, can't control it, and definately cannot cure it. His life is out of my control. I can only change me. I like my life without him. I like having a regular non chaotic life. I'm angry that he called me to fix another one of his problems and I feel for it. I didn't want him to be sick. Reality is that it's his problem if he got robbed. That's what happens when you chose to be a druggie on the streets of Seattle. I'm going to change my home number on Tuesday. I have to. He doesn't have my new cell number but I left my home number the same but I guess I have to change it for my sanity.
AQueen

May 27, 2007
9:44 am
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bevdee
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(((AQueen)))

May 27, 2007
7:38 pm
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lovinglife
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wow AQueen you did good, wait not just good, but GREAT. I think I would have crumbled and gave in some.

Keep up with whatever is giving you the strength to stay strong. He sure tried to almost sucked you in...thats how I always found myself in a sitz that I thought I could handle (him asking for a small favor) and before I knew it is was a few yrs later with me & him doing the same shit over and over. I too am currently dealing with my X trying his hardest to break me with the calls about needing this or that...for the most part I don't answer- but he has his way of getting in contact with me. Your posting was quite encouraging. As I read I thought ("oh no she is going to let him in the car..." "oh no she is going to break because he wants to see his son..") reason being is because THAT is what I have done in the past.

Good for you AQueen. You did exactly what you needed to do.

May 29, 2007
2:56 pm
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StronginHim77
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AQueen -

You handled yourself SOOOOO well! You are becoming one strong woman. You really inspire alot of us.

- Ma Strong

May 29, 2007
3:50 pm
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lettingo
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Queen, I admire your strength and insights. You are a great asset to this site. What a great example of taking care of yourself and let others take care of themselves. I can relate so much to some of your story. My ex ended up on the streets too because of drugs. It was so hard but I finally divorced him. He too cried and begged me to take him back. I just couldnt' keep doing it. A little over two months later, he is in jail and my life is moving forward. Again, your insights especially into not be able to, control, cure or cause is critical to anyone who is in an addictive relationship. Great job. I KNOW how hard it is not to help these addicts. It broke my heart at times but it is better to walk away then to let them take you down with them.

May 29, 2007
4:01 pm
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lettingo
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Queen,
One more thing, I too changed my cell and home number. It made a huge difference and will help in the sanity department.

May 29, 2007
5:20 pm
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fantas
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Queen, Way to go!! You are so strong. I felt empowered just reading your post. Thank you for sharing.

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