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Hazza would make a brilliant counselor!
April 17, 2000
2:49 pm
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infaith
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i VOTE FOR HAZZA
i REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD COME OUT OF YOURSELF AND OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND GO TO COUSNELLOR TRAINING. tHE WORLD IS DEPRIVED UNLESS YOU DO..HONEST TO GOD.
I KNOW YOU HAVE AGORAPHOBIA, IS THERE ANY WAY YOU CAN TAKE THE PROGRAM ON THE NET?
GOD BLESS YOU HAZZA

April 17, 2000
5:09 pm
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Squirrel
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September 29, 2010
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I have to give my support to this statement. Hazza you are wonderful with your words of encouragement and ability to take people as they are without judging anyone. I've only been in contact with you for a very short time - but already i admire your approach, and your sensitivity to others. I hope you can put this into practise full time- but dont leave us will
you!!

April 18, 2000
3:10 am
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lost soul
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Yes, I strongly agreed! hazza is so encouraging and very sensitive when offering advises.
Bravo hazza!!! (((hugs))) Hope.

April 18, 2000
7:31 am
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hazza
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Well thank you!!
My head is swollen with ego now!.
in answer to your questions guys, right now i still have to work on myself, as that is my priority. But having said that, in the future i am considering becoming a volunteer councellor for the program that helps me with agoraphobia, as they have helped me so much, but i must cure myself first on that one!
after that, who knows, i have thought about the idea of training as a councellor maybe (money permitting!) so I may well do so in the future, but i need to make myself well enough for the job first!!!
I am very glad that my words have brought comfort to you all, so many people have helped me on this site, it is nice to know that I can return the favour.
I don't claim to know any answers to peoples problems, after all if i did, i would be a lot healthier myself!, but like most people here, i do understand the feelings people have which usually comes down to the same core things, even if their own situations are different, most people come here afraid and confused. I understand those emotions only too well and i know that most of the time, we are feel more fear than we need to, for someone else to care and say they understand can be so much help. That is what people have done for me here and what i hope to say to others. We have nothing to fear except fear itself! very true words.
I find all the stories of our growth here very enlightening, it just saddens me when people feel they are failing or weak, none of us are failing once we are aware of our own issues, our minds are always working on our own recovery, keep on the path and don't worry if you lose your way sometimes, you are still heading in the right direction.
Peace
Hazza

April 18, 2000
10:36 am
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hazza
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ooh, forgot to say,
you are all so supportive of me also and that helps me more than you realise.
infaith, rest assured my agoraphobia will not always stop me! slowly i am increseasing my boundaries and i am no longer totally housebound! The college where I do my art class also sometimes runs courses on councelling so who knows? maybe I will one day!!!
PS I will still be here alright, i am far too nosy to go away and not know how you all are getting on!!!
I just have to find enough time alone, this is one thing I like to do for me, spend time alone and talk to you guys!! this has been therapy in itself for me as it has been a way for me to take time out for myself!
peace all
Hazza

May 2, 2000
9:49 pm
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me
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Being new to this site I am slowly reading my way through the threads and yes, I must agree that the insight and honesty in what Hazza contributes is to be commended.
Good on you Hazza- it seems that you are on the right track at working towards 'curing yourself'.
I have just begun this journey and am finding it quite scary... your comments are very inspiring though.
Peace to you too,

Me 🙂

May 3, 2000
8:38 am
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hazza
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Why thank you!

The hardest thing i have ever had to do was to in this lst year of my life.
to take the disease out of my relationship, which meant taking a very close look at myself and changing me, and to find a way forward with my anxiety problems.

I can honestly tell you all that this site was a major help to me in doing this.

But it seems to me that the hardest step is always acceptance that there is a problem and acceptance that you have to go out and find the solution yourself. that is the main thing i have learned.

When i first set about trying to get some help with my phobias, all i found where closed doors.
I remember walking in the country, in tears after my doctor had told me that my problem did not exist. I thought, well for something that doesn't exist, this feels pretty real.
I was feeling very low and his comments just reinforced in me the idea that i would never find a way forward.

But, i think, the strong desire in me to find another way proved to be the answer.
I realised that this man was not god, he was just ignorant. In short i chose to believe myself over him.
This was real, if he hadn't come across it before well that was his loss. He was a doctor and had the chance to broaden his own experience with me as a patient. But what happened? his ego would not allow this, rather than learn, he denied the diagnosis because he hadn't thought of it.
SO, that first attempt to get help was useless, so i changed doctors, this time more understanding, but still there was nothing he could offer me, no councelling, no help groups - NOTHING.
Okay, another dead end. By now I am just getting angry at the little amount of help there is, there is no way now that i am going to give up hope. If there is nothing out there to help people like me, then By God i am just going to have to organise something myself!

So more research follows, i read up on so much info, i am now living and breathing the whole thing 24/7.
Finally i find a help group, they listen as i phone them up and for the first time in my life, i talk to someone who understands what i mean.
They run group phone support. Great now i am talking to other people who are at the same place i am.
For the first time i can talk to someone and they understand me and i understand them. I have made soem good friends there. At last, proof that this is REAL.

And now? Well I am still getting there, but I have been out alone twice this week for a walk , that is more than i managed in five yrs before!
I have been feeling really really panicky in general te last few days, but so what? it is only my anxiety, it will pass, i know that.

I catchmyself thinking the same old rubbish, but now i laugh at the stupid fears my mind creates. As i walk down the road today, my mind is full of what ifs..., today already it is only 12.30am but i have already feared mugging, death, illness, my cat running away (just because he wasn't here for breakfast!) and much more. The useless fears my mind bombards me with all the time, but i am sick and tired of listening to that
and i am constantly saying to myself "STOP" when i find my mind going there.

And the last few weeks i have noticed that these thoguhts don't come so often, they are also replaced ny other more normal thoughts.

I am letting others be as irrational as they like and not allowing myself t get involved.

It is hard work but now i am started to feel the benefit.

Yesterday as i walked up my road, i smelled the flowers on the trees and i heard the birds sing.
You know i hadn't even experienced those things for so long, my anxiety would be so overpowering these things would simply disappear, but yesterday i realised they are still there waiting to be taken notice of. I intend to take more notice of things like that and less notice of my silly thoughts from now on.

It is exhausting though,! today i have bought loads of magazines and intend to spend some time alone just reading.

It took a long time for my family to realise that i need to take time out for me. I have done enough of looking after them, it is my turn and i intend to take it! we all have the rest of our lives ahead. we need to take the time out and look after ourselves.

There are thousands of jobs out there, hundreds of bosses, money comes and goes and all of these issues can be sorted out when you are well. There is only one you, make it your priority, make sure you look after yourself before worrying about these things, hard to do but it works. if you don't you end up ill.

But any path to recovery is yor own path, if i had listened to that stupid doctor, i would still be the same. Keep looking and you will find the way.
Keep looking and you wil find the right support, the right doctor, the right therapist or medication or whatever.
You know better than anyone else what is holding you back and what the problems are. When you come across advice that sounds good, chances are it is right for you. If it sounds wrong, then try it out just in case, BUT keep on looking!

I know i will always have these problems to a certain degree, but that doesn't scare me, because each day i am learning to cope and grow better and better.

I think, this year, i finally started listening to mea bit more!
Peace all and hugs to all of you,
Hazza

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