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Haythere...Don't want you to face today alone
June 7, 2010
11:03 am
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StronginHim77
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Dear Haythere,

I read on another thread about your elderly Mom having hip surgery. That is a rough road. You are probably exhausted by now. (I've done the hospital vigil with my own, elderly mom on multiple occasions, so I can relate.)

Please be sure to get yourself as much rest as you can. She will probably be transferred to a rehab facility for a minimum of thirty days, following her recovery from the surgery. Please take care not wear yourself out during this ordeal. Do what you can. Visit when you can. Be there whenever possible. But make time for YOURSELF, as well.

It is so easy to get totally burned out. Having been there myself (on multiple occasions), I encourage you to do what you can...and try to spread the responsibility for overseeing your mother's care, visiting her, etc. to others within your family network, whenever possible.

My best to you. Your mother is truly blessed to have such a loyal daughter.

- Ma Strong

June 7, 2010
4:18 pm
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haythere
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Ma, thanks so much for the comforting words. Its like getting a hug with "it's going to be o.k." thrown in.

She broke her other hip 10 years ago, so I have an idea of what lies ahead. BUT 10 years ago she was still living on her own, not showing any signs of dementia and was able to fully care for herself. Her situation is not the same today.

We do have a family friend (who is great with my mom) and her care giver that are willing to help out with sitting in the hospital (when I can't) so she isn't alone. She is not always capable of voicing her needs so she needs someone there to be her advocate.

And yes, you are right, I'm exhausted. But it won't be like this forever and my mom deserves to be well cared for. So I will do the best I can to make sure her needs are taken care and not burn myself out in the process.

June 7, 2010
4:24 pm
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StronginHim77
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Definitely pace yourself and accept all the help you can get. You don't have to be there during her every waking moment. I found that mealtimes were the most critical, particularly lunch and dinner.

Work out some "relief" support, so that you have days off during the week. Yes...you will be exhausted and burn out, if you try doing it all by yourself and remain at her side all day long. None of us can do that forever without repercussions. How advanced is her dementia?

- Ma

June 7, 2010
9:43 pm
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chinadoll
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Haythere,

Best wishes for you and your Mom. I hope her surgery goes well.

Take Care! Remember to rest and eat well. It's so easy to forget to to those things when you are busy.

{{Hugs}}

June 7, 2010
9:50 pm
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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(((best wishes)))) for your mom and hope she is doing the best she can

((((hugs from me)))))

June 8, 2010
1:25 pm
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haythere
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Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. She has a long road to recovery and I hope she can muster the fight she usually has to get going.

In answer to your question Ma, she shows signs of dementia from time to time. Most days she is with it and able to be engaged in conversation and express interest in what's going on. Other days she says random things and has to ask where her room is or what direction the bathroom is. She does not remember how old she is, she can't tell you the day of the week, or the month. Hence my concern that someone is with her at the hospital to speak for her and make sure all of her needs are met. The hospital is excellent, but she is not the only patient.

The caregiver is with her today, I will go after work for the evening. She has other family members come by for short visits. If I can go home and sleep in my own bed, all should be good.

June 7, 2010
12:00 am
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StronginHim77
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Forum Posts: 453
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September 30, 2010
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Dear
Haythere,

I read on another
thread about your elderly Mom having hip surgery. That is a rough
road. You are probably exhausted by now. (I've done the hospital
vigil with my own, elderly mom on multiple occasions, so I can
relate.) Please be sure to get yourself as much rest as you can.
She will probably be transferred to a rehab facility for a minimum
of thirty days, following her recovery from the surgery. Please
take care not wear yourself out during this ordeal. Do what you
can. Visit when you can. Be there whenever possible. But make time
for YOURSELF, as well.

It is so easy to
get totally burned out. Having been there myself (on multiple
occasions), I encourage you to do what you can...and try to spread
the responsibility for overseeing your mother's care, visiting her,
etc. to others within your family network, whenever
possible.

My best to you.
Your mother is truly blessed to have such a loyal
daughter.

- Ma
Strong

June 7, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
haythere
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 108
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma,
thanks so much for the comforting words. Its like getting a hug
with "it's going to be o.k." thrown in.

She broke her
other hip 10 years ago, so I have an idea of what lies ahead. BUT
10 years ago she was still living on her own, not showing any signs
of dementia and was able to fully care for herself. Her situation
is not the same today.

We do have a
family friend (who is great with my mom) and her care giver that
are willing to help out with sitting in the hospital (when I can't)
so she isn't alone. She is not always capable of voicing her needs
so she needs someone there to be her advocate.

And yes, you are
right, I'm exhausted. But it won't be like this forever and my mom
deserves to be well cared for. So I will do the best I can to make
sure her needs are taken care and not burn myself out in the
process.

June 7, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Definitely pace yourself and accept all the help you can get.
You don't have to be there during her every waking moment. I found
that mealtimes were the most critical, particularly lunch and
dinner.

Work out some
"relief" support, so that you have days off during the week.
Yes...you will be exhausted and burn out, if you try doing it all
by yourself and remain at her side all day long. None of us can do
that forever without repercussions. How advanced is her
dementia?

- Ma

June 7, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
chinadoll
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 193
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Haythere,

Best wishes for
you and your Mom. I hope her surgery goes well.

Take Care!
Remember to rest and eat well. It's so easy to forget to to those
things when you are busy.

{{Hugs}}

June 7, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((best wishes)))) for your mom and hope she is doing the best
she can

((((hugs from
me)))))

June 8, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
haythere
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 108
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. She has a long
road to recovery and I hope she can muster the fight she usually
has to get going.

In answer to your
question Ma, she shows signs of dementia from time to time. Most
days she is with it and able to be engaged in conversation and
express interest in what's going on. Other days she says random
things and has to ask where her room is or what direction the
bathroom is. She does not remember how old she is, she can't tell
you the day of the week, or the month. Hence my concern that
someone is with her at the hospital to speak for her and make sure
all of her needs are met. The hospital is excellent, but she is not
the only patient.

The caregiver is
with her today, I will go after work for the evening. She has other
family members come by for short visits. If I can go home and sleep
in my own bed, all should be good.

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