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Having some Emotional issues
October 15, 2006
2:56 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I go to a support group were we work on the book called "the wounded heart" its for victims of childhood sexual abuse. and I am having a difficult time. Not while I am there but when I go to bed at night. Not a class has gone by were I dont have nightmares. I tryed to do my work book then got horribly down and had to quit and it seems like even when I do the workbook I have nightmares I just dont know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions. I dont even go to bed with the issue on my mind so I dont know whats going on. I have had some new memorys come up. and they are very hard to deal with.

October 15, 2006
3:07 pm
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red blonde
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Random

I can be supportive but don't know what to tell you about the nightmares. Have you discussed this with the group to see if they have any suggestions?

I had nightmares, flashbacks. Now I have PTSD and panic attacks. Perhaps, the nightmares and memories are coming now, for you to relive and remember, so that you can look at them, not be afraid of them, and work through the pain. When mine first started, I thought that I was crazy, that THIS COULD NOT HAVE POSSIBLY HAPPENED TO ME...but it did.

My flashbacks and nightmares have since stopped...occasionally, a memory rears its ugly head, I work through it and over it.

If you need to talk, I will listen. And help if I can.

((((((((RANDOM)))))))))))

Red

October 15, 2006
3:10 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Thats how a lot of my memorys come to me is through dreams. I havent seen the group since I got 2 new memorys. One of them is a little to graphic to share with them. So I dont know what I can do there. the problem is that I dont know how to work my way though them

October 15, 2006
3:10 pm
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Rasputin
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(((Randy))) I have the same problem when I am going thru trial, test or tough time.

The best thing to do hon is to read or watch something funny b4 bedtime or may be tell a nice funny story to you kids b4 taking them to bed.

(((Randy)))

October 15, 2006
3:44 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Thanks Ras its so hard cause I dont even go to bed thinking about it.

October 15, 2006
3:55 pm
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loverbee
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I am wondering how a support group can really support you if it is g-rated. You had mentioned that they are too graphic to share, if that is true, then how are you going to work through your two newest memories. You allow yourself to work on them in some way cause otherwise, you are just allowing them to haunt you.

October 15, 2006
4:00 pm
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lovinglife
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RW~ that's tough...you're trying to work on issues and when you hit the pillow at night the issues came to life in your dreams?? ouch.

I'm not sure what I'd suggest...are you also going to therapy? Perhaps the group you’re attending is just hitting too many buttons, bringing up too much at once and your mind can't keep up with it enough to allow you to sort through it, to process it....The other thing with being pregnant I would think your *normal* chemical balance is off a little-we tend to get more emotional when we are with child and throw in there any additional stress is something to think about. You see the doc on Tuesday, right? Talk to him and ask him what he thinks...

I'd either say...the group might be too much to start with if you are just starting to work on the issues, perhaps a not so intense therapy at this time to begin the healing process then later something more intense or because you're pregnant and not in a so called normal state of mind that it's affecting you more than it would if you weren't pregnant. I don't know that’s a tough one.

Have to say though, I think its wonderful that you are attempting to work through the issues - now its just a matter of working around some of the fall out of the process.

October 15, 2006
4:06 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I have been working on the issue for going on 2 years now. One problem I am having is that the women in my group didnt grow up with being sexualy abused daily. With one of them it happend when they were 3 and they dont even remember it. Another one was fondled a few times. I am not saying that what they have gone through wasnt hell but my memorys are realy intense and I feel uncomfortable sharing it with people who dont know exactly where I come from. Does that make since. Cause I was abused from the age of 3 until I was 13. By both mother and father. and there was drugs and alcohol that I was forced to use and no one else in my group has that experience.

October 15, 2006
4:16 pm
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lovinglife
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ok...that makes it a little different...and you said something pretty profound..."uncomfortable sharing it with people who dont know exactly where I come from." It is amazing the power {as well as the healing} that comes with knowing others have experienced something similiar to ourselves.

Ok if you have been working on these issues for a couple of years - are the nightmares something new???

October 15, 2006
4:18 pm
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Randomwomen2
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They come and go. Every few months I will have one. But recently its been every monday after the group or when ever I take a nap

October 15, 2006
4:26 pm
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red blonde
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((((Random))))

When I was going through therapy, I also helped setting up groups for
"adult survivors of childhood (sexual) abuse", as well as battered women's groups. This was in the early 90's. There was a book that I bought that helped me alot. With the same title as the group name above:
Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse - but I have forgotten the author(s) name(s)- I believe it was a woman or 2 women. I will look it up on the net and post it as soon as I can. You may want to look at it. Not quite sure where my copy is right now.

Red

October 15, 2006
5:20 pm
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red blonde
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Random,

I think it was written by Beverly Engel and Eleanor Hamilton. I will go digging for my book and make sure.

It may have also had a longer title.
Haven't needed it since mid-90's.
I like to think I had something to do with getting childhood sexual abuse out in the open and in the media. I worked with Congressmen/ women and National organizations with Battered Woman Syndrome and helped with getting a Human Rights bill passed through Congress. One by Congresswoman, Constance Morella, from Maryland.

But that was along time ago, when I was a "warrior". Now I am working on a codenpendency "recycle" from a Charmer/Abuser.

Red

October 15, 2006
7:31 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Doing really poorly right know I will tell you all later why

October 15, 2006
7:43 pm
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red blonde
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Random

Just know you will get over this in time.

It is really sad that the people we trusted in, believed in, and loved as children could hurt us so terribly. But we were children, it wasn't OUR fault. We were innocent children...they were ADULTS!

((((((((((((RANDOM)))))))))))))))

Red

October 15, 2006
11:15 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Thank you for your support sweetheart

October 16, 2006
1:10 am
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Randomwomen2
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I think I am going to quit my support group for now and after baby is born start back up again. The group ends in the middle of december and there probably wont be another one untill fall but I shouldbe better emotionaly prepared for it by then cause I will not be pregnant.

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