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having some conflicting thoughts--loverbee
October 31, 2006
9:07 am
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Good morning, loverbee. Happy Halloween!!

You were in the back corner of my dream last night. It was such a conglomeration of bits and pieces of thoughts, but the theme of the dream seemed to be mis-trust and fear of getting taken advantage of. Oh....by people we should be able to trust.

Hope you have fun -- not too scary, just fun!!

October 31, 2006
9:23 am
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loverbee
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Halloween is my favorite holiday in the entire year. I am going as a fairy. I am so excited. And I have decided that today is my day and I am not going to talk to my mother at all.

October 31, 2006
9:27 am
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OK That's my girl -- 24 and still dressing up!!! Do you have a little bag of sparkles?

October 31, 2006
3:45 pm
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loverbee
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Yes and a wand and wings. It is going to be so fun. I am going to class like that (I have a night class from 7 to 10) and I am bringing the class treats. Then my bf and I will watch niptuck when we get home.Its my favorite show. Mom called three times in the last hour begging me to pick up the phone but I can't. Not today. Today is my day. Oh there she is again. I know it is going to go on like this every twenty minutes until nine o clock tonight but I am just going to shut my phone off. I already told her I didn't have time to talk today. She is so pushy.

November 1, 2006
12:30 pm
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loverbee
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didn't talk to mom yesterday at all but got thirteen drunk messages from her. I am going to give her a rest for a little while and maybe call her in a few days. I am getting to the point where I can only take so much.

November 2, 2006
12:06 pm
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gracenotes
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loverbee,

I am sorry you are in this situation. I just thought of something you could do, if there is such a thing in your community. I know where I live they have a psychiatric team through the police department that goes out to assesses people to see if they are a danger to themselves and take action with them. A police officer and mental health professional go out and make a call. If there is a danger, they will take the person to a hospital, give them some options. I understand your mom is scared of offical looking people, but, if you can do this, then maybe you can rest assured you have done something, which is make a phone call, and let others step in and, whatever your mom decides to do after that, it would be her choice.

November 2, 2006
5:07 pm
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I used to have a VERY fun friend when my kids were little -- we used to just take my kids to the park and talk and talk and laugh and have such a good time.

Sometimes we would drink some wine, but as my kids got older I spent more time "coping" with life and she spent more and more time drinking. And then she hit a point where your mum is -- getting VERRRRRY drunk and calling me (at all hours). I could only listen and talk to her for a short time before I started lying to get off the phone and just not answering at all. One day one of my kids answered and she managed to say some awfully inappropriate things -- that is when I put a total stop to the calls. I told her not to call my house drunk any more. Period.

Had nothing to do with how much I loved her as a friend, and everything to do with how much I loved myself (and my kids). I have grieved the loss of this friend. I had done everything I knew to do to get her to see what she was doing to herself. It is very sad. I do feel for you.

Someone emailed me the best collection of carved pumpkin photos. One was a garish large-toothed scarey face with a tiny pumptin in his "mouth". The little pumpkin's face was very frightened. So clever. I wish I could show you.

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