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Having serious body issues right now
March 25, 2006
9:36 am
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bonni
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I'm 5'1" and 150. Ok, really 155, because I started working out and now I'm eating more and gained 5 lbs. ok, plus its the week before my period and I'm bloated and i feel cowlike and I always gain 5 this week. i've been 140-150 for about 10 years now. I was at my best at about 120. with baby 1, I gained 50 lbs and only lost 25 when she was born. It took two years to go from 170 to 150/145. I only gained 25 and lost it all with baby 2, but no longer had time/energy for me.

I know I need to work out, as I'll automatically eat better. I did about 6.5 miles of walking this week. I'd feel better if I wasn't gaining weight. I'm eating more often, but healthier. I reduced from one daily 20 oz soda (recent bad habit - otherwise I'd be heftier) to only two this week.

Probably you didn't want to hear my frustration, but this trapped in a body thing is what I feel too. Just the exercise this week was starting to work, but I didn't do enough yesterday and don't know if I'll have time today. I know I need to make it my priority, but I haven't yet. trying to figure out the babysteps. sorry for the ramble, no time to edit now.

March 25, 2006
10:21 am
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loverbee
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Bonni-I fully understand what you are feeling. Plus the frustration of having to be so rigorous with diet and excercise and sometimes you just arent motivated. i do have a suggestion though. I tried it this morning and noticed a difference. There is something called sprinkle thin. If you go online I bet you would find it. The biggest problem I have had in the past is portion control. This is all natural flavoring that uses smell and scent to help cut down your portions. It is wierd that it actually worked with the last two meals I ate. i don't keep anything but water and milk in my house so I won't be tempted by soda. Good luck. gotta go kiss my bf goodbye. He is leaving for a week.

March 25, 2006
7:17 pm
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loverbee
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I decided to work out tonight. It felt good but hard. i know that if I do it every day it will pay off but its so hard motivating myself sometimes. My bf called from the road and I am glad he is thinking of me but its hard because I have to stay here. Oh well, at least I will do well on my exams.

March 25, 2006
7:18 pm
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loverbee
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By the way, I hate that my fat is excentuated in work out clothes. I can't wait till I feel better about my body.

March 25, 2006
11:02 pm
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nice guy
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Loverbee and all the woman on this thread. Try not to worry about your weight. Who cares if a model is 6 feet tall and 98 pounds. That is not a real woman. A real woman is someone who can be happy with themselves and doesn't care what someone else thinks about their weight. If a man makes you think that you are fat then maybe that man is Wrong. If you need to loose weight because the doctor says that it is a serious health issue, that is a different thing all together. Don't be so hard on yourselves. I can see the beauty of a woman from the inside first. If someone can't see that in you then that person has too high of expectations. Also as you get older you are supposed to put on a few pounds. Everone does. I am a guy and it is easier for me to stay fit because I work outside so I can't say that I am an expert on this subject but I do know that it isn't worth going through all the pain of having that certain image of a perfect body or the perfect weight. Don't be so hard on yourselves and if you have to loose some weight do it for yourselves and not for someone else. Please do it in a safe way also.

March 25, 2006
11:57 pm
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loverbee
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Nice guy, that means a lot. Right now it is difficult for me to explain these issues to the current bf I have. My father was always telling me I needed to eat differently because I was putting on weight and called me a slut and said I had to pursue education because I would never be the pretty one. Now after five years of not speaking to my father and his voice is still ringing in my head. Today, I worked out and tried not to stress so much. I am just going to talk to a therapist and try to beat these awful voices that plague my every thought. It is good that my boyfriend says he can't stand to see me unhappy and he loves me the way I am. It is nice to have that support, but now the trick is defeating myself and the punishment I give myself everyday. It is a tough battle because I truly am my own worst critic.

March 26, 2006
12:25 am
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nice guy
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Loverbee, you are beautiful no matter what anyone says. You don't have to loose weight for anyone. Even if you are your own worst critic you don't have to listen to yourself on this one. Remember, you are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are beautiful. Your BF thinks so. You think so. Right? Of course you do. You should talk to your dad and tell him you love him and don't let this little thing come between you. OK?
Remember, You Are Beautiful

March 26, 2006
12:48 am
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loverbee
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Actually, there is a lot more to the whole dad thing. He has borderline personality disorder and when I found my first true love, he told me he wanted me to break up with him, quit school and start spending my time with the family or he never wanted to speak to me again. He did the same thing with my sister too. I told him that I loved him, but if he couldn't be a healthy part of my life, then there was nothing I could do about it. I for one reason or another have always believed that I am a mistake, but I am slowly trying ti recover from this belief. It is all so confusing but I am just trying to learn to love myself again.

March 26, 2006
1:11 am
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nice guy
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If you can't handle him right now that is ok. Build up your confidence. Surround yourself with up beat people.

March 26, 2006
1:34 am
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nice guy
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Good night loverbee. You are beautiful.

March 26, 2006
1:40 am
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loverbee
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goodnight niceguy and thankyou.

March 26, 2006
12:22 pm
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nice guy
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Your welcome. I like to make people feel better because I went through some depression when I was in my teens. If I can help someone feel a little better I get great satisfaction from that.
Have a beautiful day you beautiful person.

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