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Having serious body issues right now
March 24, 2006
11:58 am
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loverbee
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As of right now I am 5'3 and weigh 120. I used to weigh 98 lbs. I have fat all around my back and hips, I have a double chin now that I never had before and I feel so trapped in this stupid body that I have no control over. I eat healthy and excercise, but it is not happening fast enough. I feel like I am greiving for beauty I once had and I am so frustrated.

March 24, 2006
12:06 pm
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lightchaser
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Loverbee,
I know what you mean about grieving for beauty you once had. I used to be so pretty when I was 19 . . .
Now I am 33 and I am 5'5 and 140 pounds. I find the happier I become and the more content, the less I need to eat and the better I look. I used to be anorexic in High school. i now have a 3 year old daughter and don't want to teach her that her that beauty is all important. 5'3 120 pound is not fat. I'm sure you look just fine. Other people don't pick you apart the way you pick yourself apart. Have you tried counciling for a distorted body image. Take car and try to see how beautiful you are.
Light

March 24, 2006
12:10 pm
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lollipop3
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Loverbee,

98 lbs for someone 5'3" tall is very, very unhealthy.

I am 5'2" and weight 120 lbs and I am not fat AT ALL. And even at this weight I constantly have people telling me that I am too thin (which I've heard about enough of btw).

And even if you were over weight....which you are not....that doesn't mean that you are "trapped in a stupid body". It means that you are "trapped" in irrational congnitive reasoning. In other words...this is not about your body....this is about your mind and there is help available to you if you want it.

Learn to accept yourself. Learn to love yourself...even if you are not perfect. Learn to embrace yourself. And learn that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH...just the way you are.

Take care,
Lolli

March 24, 2006
12:10 pm
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loverbee
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I do consider it fat, not in all areas just certain parts like my lovehandles. I used to be a dancer and I am just really feeling trapped. My boyfriend tries to be really supportive but it is difficult because he works out just like I do but he has lost the wieght he gained a while ago and I have not. I am doing all the same things but it is so difficult to target certain areas. It is so frustrating. I take pride in looking good.

March 24, 2006
12:13 pm
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lollipop3
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Loverbee,

Do you consider 98 lbs too thin?

March 24, 2006
2:47 pm
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loverbee
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I would like to be 100 to 105 but mostly I want to just be happy with my body and get it toned. Sometimes I just feel helpless in terms of how much control I have over my body and sometimes I get frustrated. It just sucks feeling like it is going to take so much time.

March 24, 2006
3:07 pm
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gingerleigh
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Did you actually menstruate at 98 pounds?

March 24, 2006
3:41 pm
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loverbee
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oh yes, I did and I was healthy, I just had fast metabolism. But then I went on birth control.

March 24, 2006
3:50 pm
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loverbee
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Now that i am on birth control, I have not gotten used to the new body that came with birth control.

March 24, 2006
4:00 pm
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Shaney
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loverbee - I totally get what you're saying. I'm 5'2" and was weighing about 117 - I felt huge at this weight. I used to be 102 pounds. I've been on a diet for the past month and I've been losing pretty consistantly. I want to be 105-107. And I'm not stopping til I get there. Nothing fits like it used to and I'm tired of feeling like I want what I once had. I'm determined to get there. If you're exercising, maybe it's your diet that you need to change a little. In my case I was eating right and not exercising like I should. Once I started with the exercise, my body started to change. How do you eat?

March 24, 2006
4:11 pm
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loverbee
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In the morning I eat a bowl of cereal, for lunch I usually eat half a sandwich and some cottage cheese and then for dinner I usually have like chicken with some steamed veggies or a tofu stirfry. If I snack, I usually have some grapes or something. But I am stressed all the time and I am wondering if that is what is keeping me from losing it.

March 24, 2006
4:22 pm
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Shaney
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That sounds like a good diet - maybe try adjusting portions or having protein for bfast instead of the carbs. I can't even eat cereal - because my one bowl turns into 2 bowls always. As long as I have milk left in the bowl I just keep topping it off with cereal. Ha!

If I'm stressed, I actually LOSE weight because I'm too freaked out to eat. But I suppose it could work the opposite way.

March 24, 2006
5:01 pm
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loverbee
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Thanks all for the support. This is the hardest obstacle I have ever encountered because normally when I set my mind to something, I achieve what I want to achieve and this is the first time that I have ever had problems with achieving a goal. I went out to lunch with a girlfriend today and cried with her and really just let it all hang out. found out that she is a great friend. It was nice. I am still struggling but now I am more exaughsted from crying and kind of just am too tired to care at this point. But I am sure I will have days that will be better. I hope so.

March 24, 2006
6:45 pm
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loverbee
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I am beginning to realize that maybe I eat healthy for the most part but then binge sometimes and I am thinking that the eating is a way for me to punish myself. Ever since I had the fallout with my father, I have felt an enourmous sense of guilt despite the fact that I know he is mentally ill. So I have really not allowed myself to be happy since i have felt such a guilt and maybe my weight is a way to further intensify these feelings of how much of a failure I am. I am going to try to get over him. Its like a bad relationship with a boyfriend..

March 24, 2006
9:58 pm
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Loverbee-

Hi. I your other thread and just came across this one.

You sound like your weight is fine for your height. But, being toned, like you said, might make you FEEL better as well as look better. You would also enjoy the physical effects of exercise which are very positive, not only for the body but for the mind as well.

It is not our weight that we should look at so much as what our weight is made up of. In fact, you might find that if you work out and get toned that you are happier with your body even without a real reduction in pounds. That is because the fat (which is lighter, but more bulky than muscle) burns off and you might slim down without weighing less. Please don't focus too much on what the scale says. At your weight, that is not necessary. Plus, it causes one to obess needlessly over normal fluctuations of water weight gain, during menstruation, etc.

I know what you are going through, and have suffered body image problems since my teens. Exercise (moderately) can help. Talking about it with a therapist, and friends can help too. Sometimes we are just not able to see ourselves the way the world does. There is no one on this earth perfect enough to measure up to the standards of beauty our society presents to us. Teenaged celebrities getting plastic surgery, rail thin models starving themselves... I'm sure you know this world is not a women's friend when it comes to these issues. And even though the world is cruel, some of us develop these harsh self critics that are even more cruel.

Let's teach each other how we learn to talk to each other because it's a rough job- being a woman in this world. Be educated, get a job, be a mom, and be beautiful- all at the same time- or you are not valued- is the message we are given. We don't have to take that as the message we tell ourselves. It's just really hard to undo.

-ella

March 24, 2006
10:11 pm
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loverbee
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It is so difficult to live in a world where everyone is so obsessed with beauty. But the funny thing Is that i didn't really suffer from body image issues until I was 19 cause that is when i went through puberty. Now I am still trying to come to grips with it.

March 24, 2006
10:31 pm
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Rasputin
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Lover - Have you ever thought about joining a gym? I am planning to do so this summer. This will motivate you & me to exercise regularly, esp when we know that we paid money.

They have so many machines that are made esp for specific areas such as tummies, buttocks, arms etc.

It will be my 1st time to join a gym!

~Ras~

March 24, 2006
10:39 pm
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Randomwomen2
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wow I wish I was as small as you all holy cow. Do you guys know what is an acceptable weight for someone who is 5' 10"

March 24, 2006
10:44 pm
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loverbee
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I have no idea random but I wish I was 5'10. Sometimes I just get down about my looks in general what with the average model being 5'7. Its tough being different than the ideal. I guess it is disheartening.

March 24, 2006
10:45 pm
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Randomwomen2
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it was hard being tall before I was married cause I was taller than all the guys and I think that I made them nervous. Back then I wished that I was short to fit in with the rest of the people

March 24, 2006
10:48 pm
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loverbee
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I hear ya. I think it is just hard to fill my mothers shoes sometimes. She was a model and is still at 50 gorgeous. She even chain smokes and drinks all the time and still looks incredible. my sister was always the pretty one and I was the petite one. now I am no longer petite in my eyes and don't know where the heck I fit in and how I can be happy with the way I look.

March 24, 2006
10:50 pm
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Randomwomen2
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I did a little bit of modeling when i was in highschool but there is no way now I am too heavy

March 24, 2006
11:10 pm
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nice guy
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I am dating a woman who it 5'1 and 130. I don't care if she has a few extra pounds. I like her personality and that is all I care about. Don't put too much stress on yourselves to loose weight. Looks are not very important. If you need to loose weight because you will feel better about yourselves then take it off over 6 months or a year. Don't hurt yourselves by doing it in 1 month, that is not good.
Just a thought from me.

March 24, 2006
11:19 pm
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loverbee
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I try not to obsess but when you feel like crap about yourself you feel like crap and only time and a lot of support will help that. It is unfortunate, but not all guys are like you nice guy. My bf actually just wants me to be happy but there are so many images in the media telling me I am not thin enough. I am going to try to ignor it

March 25, 2006
9:26 am
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loverbee
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Feeling a tiny bit better today. I think that until I get my body image problems under control, I am not going to look at a mirror for that long cause I tend to focus on stupid flaws. Other than that I am going to try to eat healthy and excercise and take it day by day but my gosh this is hard.

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