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Having more difficult moments
January 5, 2006
11:57 pm
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SadMike
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Hello everyone.

Hi Kasie. I hope you're still reading and I hope your doing well. I've been thinking about you. I thought about you over the holiday weekend and wondered how you were doing.

I'm so sorry I've not been here in a while. I've missed all of you and I wanted to see how your doing, espcially you Kasie. I just had to not think about things for a bit; I was just hurting so much.

I've had a bad night. I wanted to find a pic on my computer to show someone. There are pictures of my former life on here too, dating back to 2002 and many of them are my ex-wife and the life we shared.

It just brought it all back so much and I'm hurting so bad again. I wish the pain would stop. I'm crying so much right now I just can't stop. She was my world and my life. Perhaps I'm a codependent nut, but that's how it was with me. I know I just retell and rehash the same old stuff, but it's the only thing I can say.

Those pictures are all the memories I have of her. I loved her so much. What can I do to get past all this? I got to stop hurting sometime don't I?

I shouldn't have looked at pictures.

Mike

January 6, 2006
12:37 am
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kasie919
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MIke Honey,

U still here?

January 6, 2006
12:53 am
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kasie919
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Mike:

Im so sorry you have gone through this,

I have been worried and am so very glad you at least have posted..
Ive thought about you time and time again, its like i know your having a hard time but you wont connect..

Pictures are the worst, i know they can shatter even the most stongest person..
No one can tell you to destroy those moments from your life of happiness..
I have mine, and ive put them away, if someone asks me for one, i never look, i explain that they ae to painfull to see and are in deep storage...

Although this go round will again be tough because of my son..

Please dont cry, as i know how deeply you are affected by this, my heart just goes out to you..
I wish there was a way to connect with you as your struggling, but i know we arent allow to give out personal information, i knew somehow you were in pain i was trying to reach out, several posts looking for you..

memories will always hurt, especially the good ones..im sorry this has been so difficult..
please keep posting, im really owrried about you..

All my love,

Kasie

January 6, 2006
1:50 am
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kasie919
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dont bail on me now, i need you!!

Kasie

January 6, 2006
9:17 am
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taj64
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Hi sad mike, I would put the pictures of her away. It is not that they are not precious but right now, because of your heartache, it is hurting you more to look at them. It is ok to feel sad right now. Cry all you want to. You will stop hurting some day. It is all a process and you are in grieving stage. Loss of loved one can be compare to death and like death you go through 5 stages. The painful part is right now. So mourn it. The pain will pass and you will learn to love again.

January 6, 2006
11:56 am
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Isis
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No SadMike you're not a co-dependent nut you're just hurting so badly right now. Perhaps it would be a good idea to put the pictures in a safe place- like a box you can tuck away for now. It may save you the pain of coming across them in your day to day life.

I'm so sorry you hurting so much.

Isis

January 6, 2006
7:28 pm
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SadMike
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What I decided to do is buy a DVD burner (I found a good deal on one for about $40.00) and put them on a DVD and get them off of my computer out of sight. I bought it tonight. I have too many for a cd or a couple of cd's.

I have a small box of things that I kept from my marriage. I threw away, perhaps in anger, all the cards that either someone else had given us or she had given me. I really discarded a big chunk of the "stuff" from my life, but I did keep a few things to remember her by. I have enough room for a DVD in there.

Suprisingly, letting it out seems to help in feeling just a bit better. The antithesis seems more obvious, however, just crying seems to lessen the pain.

It's almost like a battery of sorts. It charges with all the negative, sad and hurtful moments, then has to be released. I guess just glancing at those pictures caused the "battery" to be full and needed a release.

Without you guys I don't know what I would do. Even if I sit here, crying and typing, typing and crying, I can at least get it out when no one else will listen or have the patience.

But, as you all know, my pain is dual. For the one I lost a year ago and for the one I lost 1 1/2 months ago. I really do hurt bad at times.

It's been a hard week, both at home and at work.

Thank you so much; all of you; especially you Kasie.

January 6, 2006
7:59 pm
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kasie919
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hey Mike:

im glad your working thru this and it sounds like you have a good plan..

I wish we could talk in person, you have helped me in so many ways..

My life is a mess and i sure need a friend, i can trust,,

you my friend can have my shoulder to cry on any time...

I will be here for a bit , maybe we can get some things out...

Love to you, Kasie

January 6, 2006
8:22 pm
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kasie919
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hey i have a burner!!

anyway i was thinking, can i do that as well?
burn things tha i want to keep and get off the computer?

im not that computer literate, help me out here??

you still here?

im trying to chear you up friend..

how are you?

love kasie

January 6, 2006
9:38 pm
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Isis
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You are too cute Kasie! Burner- much the same as a CD burner. A DVD burner to put all of the pictures on.

((((Cutiepie Kasie))))

January 6, 2006
10:56 pm
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SadMike
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I'm still here. Just off and on playing games trying to keep my mind off of things a bit.

She is rather cute I'd say. 🙂

Kasie you help me more than you realize I think.

Love,
Mike

January 7, 2006
12:05 am
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mamacinnamon
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Just wanted to stop by and send a hug your way Mike. It's really hard isn't it.

(((((( sadmike )))))))

One day we will change that name and sad will not be in front of mike anymore. 🙂

January 7, 2006
12:50 am
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SadMike
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awww mamacinnamon I sure do hope so. I'm really hurting bad tonight. I wish that sad was gone.

There's no medicine for a broken heart. No bypass surgery is capable of fixing this heart.

January 7, 2006
1:06 am
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Shaney
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Mike (no "sad") - I'm thinking that you're doing all you can do to get past this broken heart. It's terrible, but it will get better, I assure you. Removing her pictures, and the things that remind you of her is REALLY the way to go. Believe me, when my exbf left, I had everything that reminded me of him, and all of his things packed and in the garage in about a hours. And this was after five years of living together. I called all of his friends that had a truck and told them to be at my house at 8am the next day. They did, and everything was gone. The box of things that you have of hers... put it away... far away somewhere so you aren't tempted to look, and drive yourself nuts. All that is, is torture, plain and simple. As her memory becomes more faint, the image of her in your mind becomes smaller and smaller until you can't focus on it anymore. Pictures only bring all of the sadness boiling right back to the surface. Don't do this to yourself. Be busy and keep coming here. Take care Mike... no more "sad" ... we need to give you another name... something tough and manly. :o) Love - Shaney

January 7, 2006
8:13 am
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kasie919
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mike:

hope you get this today, Ive posted to you on your other thread..

Please be ok, im so worried about you..

read my post and try to get me, ill be here for a bit..

Love to you...

Kasie...

January 7, 2006
9:23 am
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koceski
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HI MIKE
MORE OR LESS I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL.I DON T KNOW THE ALL DETAILS.ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOU LOST OR BROKE UP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
I EXPERIENCED THE SAME SITUATION BEFORE.FOR THE FIRS TIME I THOUGHT ALL MY LIFE WAS FINISHED.I WAS SURE THAT I WOULDN T BE ABLE TO BE HAPPY AGAIN.I CRIED,LOST WEIGHT,I LET MYSELF DOWN FOR SOMETHING I COULDNT CHANGE.DAY BY DAY I STARTED TO REALIZE THAT I SHOULD BE WITH MY FRIEND MORE OFTEN.I STARTED TO MEET THEM EVERY SO OFTEN.THEY DIDNT LET ME TALK ABOUT MY EXBOYFRIEND TOO MUCH.DAY BY DAY I MANAGED FOCUSING ON OTHER SUBJECTS.BRIEFLY HOW YOU ARE FEELING NOW IS SO NORMAL.SOMETIMES SADNESS TEACHES A LOT OF LESSONS AS WELL.TRY TO THINK THAT YOU EXPERIENCED REALLY NICE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.NOT EVERONE IS AS LUCKY AS YOU ARE TO HAVE FULL AND NICE RELATIONSHIP.PROUD OF WHAT YOU EXPERIENCED DURING YOUR RELATIONSHIP.AND USE THAT NICE MEMORIES TO MAKE YOUR FUTURE BRIGHTER INSTEAD OF BEING HOPELESS.

January 7, 2006
9:28 am
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snowlover
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Sad Mike,

I agree..getting the pictures off of your computer is a GREAT idea. Tuck it away in that box you mentioned and resist the urge to look at it.

Im so sorry for all you are going thru. I think youre making all the right steps to heal and move on. Belive me, I know how hard a thing that is to do.

Hugs for you......Snow

January 7, 2006
9:35 am
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taj64
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I alway think you should save personal things. But now it is time to put them away, "put your love on a shelf". It is there when you need to come back to it. And it won't hurt so bad when you are ready. Mike, I feel your pain. You will get better. Just keeping doing what you are doing, talking, crying, etc. It is ok to do this.

January 7, 2006
9:35 am
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kasie919
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mike:

stupid me post to you on my own thread..
my head isnt here..

im going for a walk, need to get out..

wish i could go with us.

me,myson and grave digger..

we could count the mailboxes going down!! LOL:)

hope your feeling better,
wish you were here, i need u..

Love Kasie

January 7, 2006
2:21 pm
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kasie919
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I posted to you on your other thread as well..

Love Kasie

January 7, 2006
8:25 pm
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kasie919
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Mike are u here?

i need u..

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