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Having a real problem. And it is a laughable one!
November 4, 2006
5:11 pm
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red blonde
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I keep having younger men asking me for my phone number and asking me to go out with them! If I don't give them my phone number, they give me theirs and even put it into my cell phone! Then when I go back to the same places with my friends, they show up and keep asking me out and ask me why I haven't called them. I don't know what to do about this situation! SERIOUSLY!

November 4, 2006
5:52 pm
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Loralei
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Younger men are great! Is their age the only reason you don't want to date them? I've dated men who are 12 years younger than me and totally enjoyed it, especially the sex. And most are very eager students, if you know what I mean.

November 4, 2006
6:04 pm
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red blonde
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Loralei

The problem is that these younger men range from 14 to almost 30 years younger than I am. The last one has been hard to resist...he is 34 and looks like a cross between a younger John Travolta and Tom Cruise! I also get hit upon by men closer to my age and older. Last xh and xso were 11 yrs and 20 yrs. younger and quite a few before the last xh were younger and not mature for their ages. My xh1 and xh2 were older.

How can you tell if they are mature for their age or if they just want me to "mother" them?

November 4, 2006
6:18 pm
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red blonde
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All my friends say they wish they had THIS problem. They are all married and have really great relationships with their husbands. They just laugh when I say this is becoming a big problem.

November 4, 2006
6:38 pm
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Loralei
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OK, what kind of relationship are you looking for? If you want marriage or something real serious, then you're better off not getting involved with men that are terribly younger. But if friendship, great sex and a fun relationship are your goals, then as long as they are legal, why not enjoy them?

A lot of guys seem to really be attracted to older women. We are more experienced, more uninhibited, more interesting to talk with than most of our younger sisters. (Yes there are exceptions to this) They don't all want to be mothered. In fact, some of the older men are worse about wanting that than the young ones.

Maturity is not always related to age. That is just something you have to find out about as you get to know them. But enjoy the attention while you can. We only have one life to live, so we might as well enjoy it to the hilt!

November 4, 2006
7:02 pm
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red blonde
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I guess I am looking for a long term relationship, because of my age. I am 58, but look maybe 40 - 45 and similar to Sharon Stone. I never had
children and maybe I have never established boundaries in my life. About time I learned.

November 6, 2006
11:05 am
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Matteo
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red blonde ~

I have the same problem and I feel like crying about it, not laughing about it. I was in long term relationships with much younger men, and I still want great sex as a part of a relatioship but with someone who is wise and mature, who is on my level and the same place in life that I am. I think someone 10 years younger or ten years older is still OK, but somehow in majority they are not interested in me; those who are younger than that are, and those who are older than me but look and act ancient. Am I asking too much ??

November 6, 2006
11:33 am
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red blonde
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Matteo

So do I want great sex as a part of a relationship. No, I don't think you are asking too much. I feel the same way. I guess we shouldn't give up, there must be men out there that are closer to our age, younger or older, that we can attract that are mature and have fun and enjoy great sex while in a relationship. I would just like to know how to find these men! If I find out how, I will surely tell you.

November 6, 2006
11:49 am
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Matteo
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ROFL! Do you think there is something like a colony of them somewhere in some secret place? I will let you know as well if I discover that place first!

November 7, 2006
1:17 pm
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red blonde
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Matteo

Now THAT is an idea! But sometimes I think that all the GOOD ones are in relationships with female predators and don't realize it! I look at some of the couples I am around and see some of the men very unhappy. Do you think that good men be going through the same thing and just don't know what to do and are suffering as well?

Maybe there should be a national FREE YOURSELF FROM A BAD RELATIONSHIP DAY where everything is settled amicably, fairly and equally. Like Monopoly's GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card.

November 7, 2006
3:07 pm
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gracenotes
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redblonde,

Oh, a younger man sounds like a wonderful idea, but, yes they can be very immature if you are looking for something serious. I had a younger guy hitting on me in a class all semester and I held back, followed my intuition with this. He was a nice guy and all, but I just had to take some time to get to know him and after a few months of talking with him at classes, I decided he was really immature, so I withdrew attention. Some things I found out indicating immaturity: he lived with his dad, he was often late for class and/or missed it, he didn't bring all the materials to class (wanted to share with me), didn't have much of a job. You can figure out the basics by asking questions about what guys do for a living and where they live, I guess, but, in reality, there is not substitute for taking time to get to know someone to find out their maturity level.

But, what is wrong with just telling the guy he's too young for you? That's the truth. Honest to goodness, my mother turned down a marriage proposal just based on this. They remained friends, and all, but she was honest about this. Guys should be able to handle that, if not, well mention you are looking to be married.

November 7, 2006
4:06 pm
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Matteo
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gracenotes ~

I have no problem telling them that we are not a match; I have a problem that guys my age don't respond to my ad as the younger guys do. I don't mind their attention, but I do mind not having an attention of guys close to my age.

November 7, 2006
4:11 pm
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Matteo
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red blonde ~ yes, I think the same. Being single for almost 3 years I saw many decent, codependant men in unhappy marriages who have no courage to leave; sometimes not even an idea that they should leave and that a marriage is not a life sentence.

I don't even want to imagine what would happen on a FREE YOURSELF FROM A BAD RELATIONSHIP DAY! Maybe only then we would know how many marriages are truly happy.

November 7, 2006
5:13 pm
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red blonde
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Grace ~ Problem is I have told many a younger one that I am not interested and they keep coming back, bugging me to go out with them, calling me on the phone, and asking my friends if they know where I am or if I am out with someone. I have told them that they are too young for me, that I am not into puppy training, and have been honest with them from the very start. ARGH!

In fact, after I just posted and got off line because I had things I had to do, I got a call from the one who is 34 and looks like Travolta and Cruise combined! HE is going to be very hard to resist, and I have told him his is TOO YOUNG for me. The age difference doesn't deter him one bit! I may go out with him, but will keep him at arm's length to see if he is mature enough or not. I am not looking to be married, just would like a long term relationship.

Matteo ~ I guess THAT ~FREE YOURSELF ~ suggestion would cause utter chaos! I have seen some happy marriages and committed relationships, but I see A LOT more of the unhappy kind. Too many unhappy people out there. One of which was me (too many times), so I shouldn't be that surprised. Just a bit sad!

What do you think, Grace and Matteo? Should I go out with this 34 year old for awhile? But, still keep myself "available" for someone around my age?

November 7, 2006
9:12 pm
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Matteo
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red blonde ~
Meet him and see - if you are attracted to him - why not? Who knows, maybe you will not have to train him 😉

Maybe it would be a good idea to join the Darn Dating Thread?

November 7, 2006
9:43 pm
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red blonde
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Matteo,

Didn't think of that! Thanks! Who wouldn't be attracted to a man that goodlooking! I think I will try this one out for awhile...who knows, maybe I won't have to train him at all! 😉

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