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Having a hard time getting over him
October 13, 2004
12:14 pm
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ROKNROB
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I'll make a long story short. I dated and then lived with this guy for 2 1/2 years. He is in trouble with the law because of drugs and just recently got in trouble again. In February I was diagnosed with breast cancer and of course he was not there for me. He spent most of his time drunk or druging. Well 2 months ago he moved out and I was doing good until I found out he is seeing someone. The worst part is I believe he was seeing this girl while I was going through chemo treatment. His cell phone was in my name and I found lots of calls to her. I am so mad. I just don't know how to get over it and just let it go. I went on a date last night and after my date left I felt like I had cheated on the ass hole and it made me mad. Someone help me!!!!!!

October 13, 2004
12:21 pm
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Anonymous
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Well trust me I know, hating them is easier, it's better than missing them and sure you are super hurt as would I be but I think anger is a good good start. Vent here, know that you deserve better than that jerk could ever give you, and you deserve someone who isn't selfish and uncaring and just plain ICKY. That is what they are ICKY trolls under the bridge.

October 13, 2004
12:22 pm
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starryslp
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why is it that the women have all the guilt, usually anyway.

do you really want to be with someone who was not there for you during what was probably the most diffucult time in your life.

And, if he is with someone else, he obviously doesn't want to be with you. I don't mean to be harsh, I actually have not accepted that about my ex..but it is true. No matter how much you want him, if he doesn't want you then it will never be.
Besides, it sounds to me like you are a strong wonderful women, who deserves someone who will be there to nurture you.

Baby steps....I hope the cell is out of your name!

October 13, 2004
2:03 pm
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CAMER
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do you really want a man who cheats on you, obviously this man does not have good character at all. Sounds like he has more problems with his drug and alcohol problems and problems with the law...you deserve so much better, you have been with him for 2 1/2 years and has anything every really changed for the better.

Be strong, love yourself and don't let this man back into your life, you
are much too good of a person.

October 13, 2004
2:27 pm
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sdesigns
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I know this probably won't help but I have 2 friends that also has breast cancer and their men both headed for the hills when they started treatment. One was a 10 year relationship. So its not just you.

He was given a chance to show character - and he did- he has none. So good ridden of the creep. SD

October 14, 2004
10:39 am
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balancesekr
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ROKNROB,
It's totally normal that you are upset, pissed off, and hurt that this guy was not there for you and lied to you. Try not to look at this as a reflection of yourself... as starryslp said as women we tend to carry a great deal of guilt, this is where we need to learn to be a little more logical like men. He wasn't there for you and may have been cheating... this burns, I can imagine!

You made it through chemo which is fantastic, that must have been soooo scary for you. Life is short, you deserve better than this clown don't you think? I do!

We manifest what we think we deserve in our lives. This was a lesson and you will make better choices next time. It will take time, I would keep going out on dates, definitely normal to feel like you are cheating or doing something wrong, I do the same thing. Allow yourself to have a good time, nothing to feel bad about with that, you have to give yourself permission to have some fun and find your smile again- I know that sounds cheesy but it's true ((HUGS))
Balancesekr

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