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Have I lost my mind?
June 2, 2007
9:45 am
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Teardrops
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I am sitting here making a fool out of myself over someone who no longer loves me or has feelings for me. This person is an alcholic and therefore has his own personal demons. I have been seeking help to deal with my issues and discovered that I have become co dependent. I have to move from a home that has all my touches throughout it, painted walls, wood floors my colors, carpeting my color choice etc. He has told me that he no longer has feelings due to the fact that I have had problems with coping with his children of whom I enjoy but have used to hurt their father cause of the pain and anger. I am going to apoligize to the kids as his daughter is well aware of his actions and she does not blame me for leaving, she also stated she felt sorry for her mother who is now down and out and almost living on the streets because of this man. Will the lonely feeling I am feeling go away soon or will I have to endure this for some time? I just need a friend and a big hug right now from someone and I have no one close by to do that. Scared and lonely.

June 2, 2007
10:10 am
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loverbee
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((((((((Teardrops)))))))))))) When I split with my ex I thought the pain would never ever stop. It didn't when I was just by myself. I needed a friend too. If you spend time with a support system, then I can tell you that it may hurt but it will get better each day the more you focus on your future and the positives. Hope you feel better. There is not set amount of time you should feel this though.

June 2, 2007
10:57 am
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fantas
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((((Teardrops)))) I am so sorry that you are in this predicament right now. I can't imagine what that must be feeling like. Remember that you are dealing with an alcoholic and they are manipulative to no end and will say and do anything so as not to take responsibility of their actions and change. It's a good thing that his children know him and what he is all about. I dated an abuser and at one point, his own brother and family members were telling me to leave him. After I left him, his whole family didn't talk to him for almost a year because they were so disappointed with him. By the way, why are you the one moving out and not him? Hang in there, keep posting and whatever you do, put yourself first.

June 2, 2007
11:12 am
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Teardrops
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Fantas: The reason Iam moving is that this is his house and he has always used this over me. I am the one who made this house a home for him and his kids (who are young adults and married).Every one he & I know together has commented on how wonderful things look and how they have never seen his home clean bright and cheery. So as I am packing things he is buying things and doing thing the way I had it set up and that is just killing me that he can't do his own thing. He has asked me several times for advise on how to decorate or which item to buy in dishes, vacum cleaners sheets and I just tell him its going to be yours so what ever you like and he got angry, so that is why Iam the one moving.

June 2, 2007
12:20 pm
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sad sack
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Hi Teardrops,

I just wanted to offer you some support. I am sorry that you are going through this painful breakup. I know how hard it is. But from what you dsecribed, you are definitely doing the right thing. I know how hard it is to leave the place that you have called home for so long.

TO answer your question, no, of course, you have not lost your mind. You are just in a lot of pain right now. ALthough my circumstances are a bit different, I am suffering from a broken heart as well. For me, what I find helpful is posting here, reading self help books and keeping very busy. I am so much stronger than I was just a few months ago, but I know I have a long way to go.

You have to keep telling yourself that you deserve so much better than this man. He is an unhealthy person who flat out told you that he lost his feelings for you. In a slight way, that statement should just make the break a bit easier.

Please keep posting. The people here are incredibly wise and caring. I guarantee that you will find some comfort here.

Know also, that you are not alone. There are so many of us who are going through similar ordeals. I have learned so much from reading about other experiences.

Try to have a productive day. Do something positive for yourself. I am trying to do the same.

Sad

June 2, 2007
6:36 pm
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atalose
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Welcome teardrops,

sorry you are going through this.

Read the thread titled:

Are you wondering when the pain stops.....

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

June 2, 2007
6:50 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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((teardrops)) You have started the process. Keep moving forward. It will get better.

June 2, 2007
10:21 pm
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Teardrops
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Thank you to all of you out there that care. I am going to look at another place tomorrow and have already told him that he will be paying for the first months rent and then some. Today he is agreeable to this but tomorrow is another day and who knows what it will bring. After cying my heart and soul out this morning for 3 hrs straight (no kidding) I seem to feel a little more calm this evening. It has been years since I have had such a great cry. I am going to continue to move on and take care of myself now cause my dog and cat need me. I need me. Again Thank for caring to all who took the time to read and respond!!!

June 3, 2007
3:28 am
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fantas
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(((Teardrops))) You are right, Keep putting one foot infront of the other. Pretty soon one day will turn to months and then years and you will have renewed yourself in ways you cannot even begin to imagine. Keep posting and reading other posts. These men and women here know what they are talking about. They are very real and have helped me greatly...

June 3, 2007
6:29 am
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courage to change
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Teardrops

You are so brave. Keep moving forward, you deserve all the love that you can give yourself. It does get a lot better, just takes time.

Just FOCUS on YOU. and KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

Best wishes xxx

June 3, 2007
8:52 am
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Teardrops
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Soon teardrops will turn into smiles and happiness. Yesterday we went for a nice drive and while out he made a statement about maybe we can friends or see what happens in the next few months. We might just not be able to live with each other, well guess what buddy if we can't do it now we will never be able to do it as this will be the last time I move for you and I am going to keep on moving. I am hurting inside horribly but I know this is going to pass soon. I have been finding a lot of strength in the power of prayer. My heart says keep trying and my gut says move as fast as you can and get this all behind you as he is the one who will end being the lonely person. God vindicates those who hurt us. He is 62 years old Iam 49 so I know he will be the one who has lost here not me as I have many yrs left to find happiness. His only happiness will be in his kids who don't come around all that ofter. We drove to see where his daughter and husband was camping, well we pulled into the camp and I could see his daughter was embarrassed that he did this. I apoligized to her and said I was along for the ride. I knew she was embarrased as she has told on several occassions that he embarrasses her. So who is going to come out on top here? MEEEEE!!!!

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