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Has anyone else ever felt like they were run over by a freight train?
July 24, 2007
4:20 pm
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truthBtold
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My word - I have.

Going on - well, hell, over 10 years now!

Sometimes it happens 2 or 3 times a day.....usually when I TRY to act in ways that are in my own best interest.

I recently turned 47 years old and it finally occured to me - that maybe experiencing this awful feeling will NEVER go away?

I dunno.

I explored a little bit further today....this whole - run over by a fright train feeling which I am getting SOOOOO tired of - and tried to go a little bit deeper.

Asking myself - what is really going on here?

The best that I can determine (so far) is that it may have something to do with humiliation. Maybe. Not sure yet.

In any event - I just have to put this nasty puppy into some other kind of reference frame because I am getting damn tired of having to literally hold the sides of my body with my arms and hands for fear that I will just actually split off from the barely held together seams..............

It really sucks and I am getting damn tired of it....and what's more is when I try to talk to other people about it - they look at me weird-like - that they have no inkling of what I am talking about.

Part of the saving grace is that part in the movie "When a man loves a woman" woth Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan...in which Meg Ryan's character alludes to that feeling...how feelings just well up and slap her down like a god-damned freight train............

Should I just start to accept this decades old feeling as something that I will have to live with the rest of my life????

Any and all responses would be greatly appreciated. I am just really getting tired of all this mess!!!!!!!!!

July 24, 2007
5:03 pm
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_anonymous
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This is a great place to figure your situation. You seem like you are one of those people who have a hard time expressing yourself. Are you afraid that others will not agree with you or you will offend them? Do you feel that no one cares what you think? You are holding everything inside. Please describe a specific situation with all the details that make you feel this way. Then I can better understand how you are feeling

July 24, 2007
5:21 pm
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truthBtold
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Well, that's the thing. Like I said - it seems that every time I just entertain the idea of doing something pleasurable.....that is in my own interest - I get bombarded with the run over by a freight train feeling.

Not sure entirely where that comes from - guess it is only for me to decipher.

Maybe I am missing your point, I dunno.

Destiny, have you ever felt like you were run over by a freight train?

July 24, 2007
5:25 pm
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_anonymous
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It is an emotional block. That feeling you have paralyzes you from doing what you need to do in as far as obtaining pleasure is concerned. I get overwhelmed at times but it is in responce to stress. Then I cant think very clearly. I have to admit what u described sounds debilitating but your the first one that I have heard put it in those terms. I am trying hard to understand you.

July 24, 2007
6:57 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I am really feeling that way today...I find myself feeling that way often...but my h got laid off today...and I am really feeling it right now. He as told at the end of his day of work today that he was done. We have 4 small children...it is a sad place to be...I need to find a way to feel differently right now.

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