Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Had my 3rd encounter with my therapist....
August 2, 2007
9:14 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Today right after work...I've had my 3rd encounter with my therapist and it went well. I thanked her for the advice she gave to me with regard to an aggressive superior who was rude to me, even tho many of you adviced me the opposite of what she told me. I told her that I noticed that woman stopped harrassing me and I feel that she started to respect me.

She prepared some good literature to me about Affirmation behaviour that explains how we behave. It was so intriguing and started to read it ASA I reached my place. I saw myself in the healthy one and compared it with the ones when I was unhealthy. It was so interesting to see how we develop and become better human being as we heal.

We also talked about mental health issues (esp. NPD & Borderline) and she said that those people don't come in therapy and thus delay their healing.

I just wish I could meet her in the morning. Evening rvs right after work are draining. I really had so many other questions in mind, but due to my fatigue from work, I could not focus well.

She asked me to write down my thoughts for our next rv. So may be I could jot down my thoughts in my journal.

August 2, 2007
9:23 pm
Avatar
fantas
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 14
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((Ras))) I am glad you are enjoying this relationship with your therapist. That's great that the coworker is respecting you and behaving herself. It's amazing what happens when we honour our insticts and take care of ourselves.

Keep us posted.

August 3, 2007
12:52 am
Avatar
Guest
Guests

Rasputin-

What were the two conflicting bits of advice? Where is this, on the last thread about your therapist? I will have to look for it.

Here's a dumb question for ya, what is "rv" ?

It is true how we become better people when we heal. Sometimes we have a hard time empathizing with others when we are down. I feel like that sometimes, it's easy to get angry, etc.

You must feel good about what happened at work. It's amazing when you see the results of your work in therapy or here like that pan out in the "outside" world.

hugs,
ella

August 3, 2007
8:31 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((Fantas & Ella))) my 2 faithful and sweet cyberfriends, thanks for the support and hugs. I'm always appreciate of your input and love.

Fan~ Right on. I always belive we should respect our therapist. They are really trained and professional folks who know what they're talking about. I like my therapist and respect her.

Ella~ I posted it - I think last week - The thread entitled "Does she has/have the right to do that?" There was a grammar mistake in the title. Some people told me that she has the right, while others said no. I will try to bump that thread for you honey!

rv stands for Rendez-vous as in appointmemnt, a word of French origin that is widely used and accepted in the English language.

Remember Ella, when you really heal...you start to have Empathy toward others NOT the opposite. People who do not have empathy are those who are sick angry and did not work on themselves.

Yea, I am seeing that at work right now. Those peopole are ONLY afraid of strong folks. So we have to really act like strong, assert ourselves; otherwise they will interpret our peaceful behaviour as coward or scared. My therapist confirmed this to me either.

August 3, 2007
8:55 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi, Ras, I got my PC together and here I am. Im glad you asked for my input, I feel validated as a cyber friend who truly cares for you.

I dont know what exactly I would have told about the therapist and the supervisor thats not your supervisor. Hindsight is always 20/20, right? What I can say is that Im proud of you for following your gut feeling and seeing the issue to your contentment. I think that you need to cut those 3 minĀ“s so that youre clear of further harassment. But not that you need to do that in fear of the super who scolded you. I think you can cut those 3 mins in honor of your real super and yourself, to feel good about yourself and to deliver your end of the deal to your super. If there is terrorism at work, and boy is there ever, its best not to give ammo to your enemy who is searching a target for their sick behaviour. You know, if she is so mindful of time, she should also be of lines of command and not trespass the authority of her fellow worker, your real super.

The nice thing about this is that you acted out of strength showing youre healing from lack of affirmation and assertiveness. About your therapist, I have a hunch she told you what you were ready and willing to hear. She seems to have worked as a good sounding board and empowered you to follow your intuition/guts. Now this sticking to your ground worked out all right for you this time. It may not work so well every place else. So keep getting strong and assertive. And just to spare yourself, remember that not all battles are worth fighting.

Am I maybe too indirect? Perhaps I need to say that as you change to different work enviroonments the terrorism may change. Yuoll need to decide when its to your best interest to confront people like that super - directly or indirectly. You have a tough situation from what I remember in that you are outsourced to work in different places as a temp, right? So you may be picked on as the new kid on the block would. Knowing who you report to and what your job is will help you set your ground from an advantageous point without having to impress or spell out your job description to sick people who should mind their business.

Oh, well, I got a headache. Pls let me know if you want me to clarify anything.

Congrats and hugs!!

August 3, 2007
9:10 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks (((Sini))) another good cyberfriend whom I love too. Very true. People are only afraid of you if you stand up for yourself, as I stated b4. I really like this place I'm working at and do not want to leave it. There is always a snake, even if you work in paradise and it's this woman who is not even my supervisor. Her title is "Assistant" and comes right after the head of our dept., but still she is NOT my supervisor. Even when I told my supervisor about her, she said that she did not find her a good person. Thank God for my boss's honesty.

I'm Not fighting a battle, but I need to assert myself. My therapist told me that if I swept this matter below the rug, this woman would have taken advantage and walked all over me, thinking that I was being wimpy or acting as a doormat. I'm glad I consulted my therapist at the right time and she gave me sound advice.

I hope you will feel well soon (((Sini)))!!!

August 3, 2007
9:17 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Great, Ras! Above all you need to do what you think is right so you respect yourself! We can deal better with our mistakes than when following bad advice.

Well, Im better actually. So Ill try get some sleep since yuesterday/today I was awake a lot.

Take care, (((Ras)))

August 4, 2007
1:11 am
Avatar
Guest
Guests

Rasputin-

There's a post from me on your other thread.

It's funny because I've had trouble getting to work this week because of things happening in the area causing more traffic, the heat, and my sleep problems. If anyone were to nit pick I think I might be upset. I work too hard to listen to think that the one thing I am doing wrong is being focused on rather than the countless good things. Unfortunately that's how it is in many workplaces. Especially with latenesses and attendence. But three minutes? One day? Please.

-ella

August 4, 2007
7:16 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Ella for validating me. We really need that no matter how sure we are, esp. when it comes from trustworthy friends. Those people, like this woman, like to dramatize things and are actually waiting over our head for the slightest mistake to overdramatize and overanalyze it -which I find very codep trait.

Bottom line is that I remain polite, diplomat, formal with her and try as much as possible to avoid her and keep it strictly business or have a deep hearful conversation with her. If we happen to go out for supper or have some happy hour outing with my other co-workers - yes, folks do that a lot in my office, I hope and pray I won't be seated right next to her. My therapist facilitated my approach and told me it was the right thing to do with such people.

So Onward and upward!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714258
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information