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Grass is NOT Greener in my YARD I swear!
August 12, 2007
9:58 am
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wasabi
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Over the years I have had to deal with women tring to get into my husband's life!
Most of them swear they do not what to have sex with him.....
But I know that is a bunch of crap!
He is very Good looking charming & weathy!
Most of these women where even married!
They say the just want this or that.....
You see my husband is the guy that can do any thing or get any thing done .... So they all need his help or appention!
It drives me crazy!
He has had a stocker even ....
An this one that has & still is showing up here & there even left a hate message on my cell ! YAH ! BI&^%
Showed up at one of our job site talking crap ..... I'm so pist!
Everyone I tell what has been doing on say's shes jelouse of me & is mad because she can't get to him.......
She worked for us a while 2ish years off & on and has created so much drama !
Finally her drama & BS cause us to loose a large paying job! We had to return a very large deposit! My husband was so mad at her!
Thank God now he will not work with her!
But she keeps showing up & this call!!!!
OMG If she keeps this up I will have to file a restaining order!
She told my husband she wanted to be in my position! and she fantasized about him.....
I have been told don't worry your more pretty & talented & Your husband loves you ....... But this women is WAKE !
I told a few people that she was obsested with my husaband & it's so ture!!!!
She refused to work with me on a few jobs! She only want's to work with my husband!
She is married & swears she has no feeling for my husband but was calling him all the time! I mean from 6am -9pm every day!
She left a song on our buis. line over & over & over for weeks some times 5-10 times a day! We confronted her & she denied it! I know it was her! ok Am I being parenode or is this women phyco!!!!!
She called my cell & I did not awnser! She left this crazy message saying someone told her I said , she wanted to get into my husbands pant's ...... Well I said she was obsessive ! which she is! But I never said the pant's thing!
OK the grass isn't greener over here I swear!Mow your own lawn B^%$#!
What would you do! I'm tring to let this go!
But this BI&^% keeps popping up!
I'm so pist at my husband for every dealing with her!

August 12, 2007
10:34 am
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lostnluv2
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Sounds to me that she is very obsessed with your husband. I'd call her behavior harrassment. I would make it clear to her that you and your husband want this to stop and that what she is doing is harrassment and if she doesnt stop you will turn her in for it. Where I am from, (I've had to tell a guy this once) the law told that this was the first thing to do, point out the harrassment and use that word harrassment to her and tell her she must stop. If she does bother you or your husband again she can be turned in. Once I made the point to the person i was having trouble with he left me alone so maybe this would be the case for you and your husband also. I would make sure that you and your husband both tell her this cause she is doing it to both of you. Hope the best for you keep posting.

August 12, 2007
11:11 am
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Matteo
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wasabi ~ I'm sorry but this sentence: "Over the years I have had to deal with women tring to get into my husband's life!" made me smile. There are tonnes of good looking, charming and wealthy men who don't have that kind of problem (over years!); only they are able to put healthy boundaries around themselves and their marriages. Things are not happening without a reason. Perhaps the "charming" part is an answer? Your husband, if you want to accept it or not, is a willing participant in this game. Of course, the woman you are talking about is more than he asked for.

Let me give you an example. Both my parents were very charming and good looking. My father had a very high position and was loved and highly respected by everyone who worked with him and almost everyone who got to know him. Women admired him. My mother never had the problem you have, because even if someone had a crush on him, they knew he is off limits. They knew bwcause my father let them know by his behaviour.

My mother on the other hand had always bunch of guys falling for her and wanting to have her as a wife, even if they were married. But my mother enjoyed immensly their attention. I don't think she ever crossed the line, but there were always men around her to fall for her charm. There was always someone to call, yo visit, to send or bring flowers, to attend to her in every possible way, even among the couples my parents were friends with. But then she has a personality disorder, while my father didn't. Go figure.

Open your eyes, wasabi. Your husband enjoys the attention, otherwise things like that would never happen. It is up to your husband to stop it, and I don't think he wants to or ever will. Put the blame where it really is. Good luck!

August 12, 2007
11:26 am
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wasabi
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I wrote her a very professinally letter about a 3 weeks ago!
It's a long story! But she did work for us/ my husband for a few years off & on . He was so frustrated in most of the dealing with her that it was affecting his highpertention!
WE, husband & I / buisness partner's agreed to not do buisness with her any longer! That was last fall ! Winter came & went..... Spring came & she began begging him for help & had work to sell him ..... it's all about the money my husband swears!!!!! She did have some big project! But HE lied to me an started working with her behind my back!I found out in May! That they where working together!
You see we do concrete & hardscapes
She is a landscaper! She needs walls, walk ways, dirt, rocks mulch whatever ! From others because she doesn't have any equipment nor or the skill ! or enough work to have a crew full time!
So I found some contracts on jobs they where working on & flipped out!
He swears it's just buisness!
OK why do you have to lie about it then! So now that the cat was out of the bag! I'm sure she loved the idea of me not knowing they where working togethher!
(Also I'm a Master Gardener & studing to be a landscape Designer!)
Another reson I was pist!
Why are you referring her when you could refer me?
Well a few project where real big & the husband ask me now that I'm fully aware! USE my experties & look over these contracts & work with this women!Please !!! ( I can't deal with her he said!) Then why are you dealing with her duh!!!!!
OK swollow my pride pretend it's ok & help her too!
Which I tried ta do ! But once I got involved I found all these issues with the projects & spelled it all out to the both of them & we had a meeting ......To make a long story shorter! She flipped out walk out on one job & lost the other completly & we had to give the money back!
I had to go into this one job & landscape it blindly! Which I did & it went very well thank you!Every one was blowen away!( And now my husband is refering me) duh about time i kinda felt real hurt about the whole thing!
But since then she has been stocking our crews calling me & my husband leaving weird messages! telling other's that I said she wanted in his pants! When all along she did!
But I had to deal with both customers when the shit hit the fan & now deal with her popping up here & there!
One of lead men told us she stopped at a job Thur. or FRi.
Which she is tring to steal our customers & tell them lies!
This is my husband my buisnes! Back the fu$% up B(*&^% !
I so want to slame her thru the courts but I don't want to ad wood to the fire either! An when you live in a glass house you should not throw rocks! I just want her to go away!I'm trying to give her the silient treatment! Like I don't care & it's no big deal! Getting some of her jobs states a big statment!
Basicly I way blow her away in so many ways! I just don't need this high school crap!
Yes your right total harasment!
But I can do nothing!

August 12, 2007
11:50 am
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wasabi
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Matteo*
I totally agree with you!
I have stated this!
Many times! I also have the same men flirt or come on to me all the time but I ignore or stop it right away!
I'm not sure why he like's this game!
I said exacly that to him...
What you said!
Thank you for seeing this!
I'm very hurt that he is like this yet want's to keep me in a box!
I'd like to give them both a taste of there own meds!
I told my husband that I was going to start calling this womens huband...just to chat!(we all USED to be friends so I know him) Maybe even play him the message his wife left on my cell! ( which I've saved & played it to numours people !) i want people to see I'm not just being a jeloues house wife this is real!
Thank Matteo!
WASABI
PS(By the one of our men that works for us is very intrested in me! But I'm tring real hard to resist him & he is drop dead goroues!!! But during all this it is so very hard not to pay attention to attntion that is being paid to me while they play these games with my head..............crazy place to be right now in my own head!
WASABI........uGGGGGG!

August 13, 2007
8:12 am
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taj64
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well what good is good looking, money and any of that if your husband is cheating on you. You posted a great deal about the women he is involved with. This sounds like too much drama and your needs are not getting met. What do all this work to get his attention. Maybe take the focus off all of this and discover yourself. And ask why you stay in it for so long. It is very obvious your husband can do what he wants so why bother playing the game as well. Don'[t you respect yourself. I'd walk away. I'd value trust and commitment. These ladies are not throwing themselves at him, he is offering. Having all tihs material things mean nothing if you have a slimy husband. He is ugly on the inside as he certainly is not to be trusted as he invites this, it is not about these women, it is about your relationship here. It is not very healthy and please ask yourself if this is what you want the lifestyle or a decent respectful man who is faithful. Doesn't look like you have both with this man. You can write a book about all these women and point the finger and tell them the grass is not greener in your yard but it doesn't matter if they want what you have, you need to figure out why you are staying with him like this and disrespecting yourself. These jealous games are signs of low self esteem. If you truly loved yourself you would not have to be looking at other men either. That won't solve anything. Do you think you deserve better than this, or is it the lifestyle you want so badly you take it at no cost to yourself? I think you do deserve better and I'd say you need to look a little closer to your husband if you want to blame someone. He is no prize at all.

August 13, 2007
8:29 am
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hopeful for change
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This is weird my husband and I had a concrete flatwork company. Anyway, ya know here's what I think, money's money but not when it causes drama. I mean come on seriously how many times do you have to let the best employee go and you think its really gonna suck without them, you really need them well, someone else comes along and you always do make it.

I think on a personal and business level you two should sit down with this woman, and tell her, or have your husband call with you there and tell her you are no longer wanting to do business with her. There are lots of others out there that you can find to do work with you and we all know that. You are learning yourself so screw her. You said she is married so maybe you could let her husband know what she is doing I don't know.

But really it seems like to me your husband needs to put an end to all the dealings with her since he went behind your back and did more work with her.

I am sure you have sources as we did of advertisements etc to get work. If you need some other partner like her to get jobs together, then open the phone book and get together with some other individuals and it will be no problem finding someone to do this with you guys.

But, your husband has to stick by your side.

I wouldn't put up with this crap for a minute either.

My husband, well almost ex husband now....makes the same sort of money and loves to flaunt it and flash it, and buy everything for everyone, and where we live it is very seasonal when its good its good and in the winter we are very broke. But he likes to portray that he is some rich guy etc when in reality we are just in debt. But he gets off on acting rich rich.

Anyway best of luck to you.

August 13, 2007
8:52 am
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wasabi
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Taj64
Oh I know my husband is not an angle
or he even used the word inacent?
Yah ok I do have respect & love for myself!
I also have legal & financial ties that will follow me if I left that must be addressed prior.
I'm working on alot of these to free myself! Sometime no matter what's going on in our life you just can't pack a small bag & walk away!( I can't I have way to much baggage)
I'm educating myself & saving money , I'm working on OUR/HIS debt.....
I have to deal with the IRS!!

You can not judge me about why I stay.....
I know why! I don't have a choice YET!But I'm working on it!
He did not have an affair with this crazy women, he did have a buisness realationship with her & she became increasingly obsessed!
There are times when your married for a very long time you may get into emotional realationships with other's..... he has so have I !That is normal an you have to becarefull & set bondries!
I've never had a sexal affair & I belive he has not either !
If he has I can't prove it! Nor at this time do I care! I'm working on myself & the issues at hand!
Stay or go at this time I am F&^%ED
So For today I stay!
We all have to deside what we will & will not put up with!
Why are we with the person we are with for what needs do they fill in our lives.....My husband is a piece of work all right!But I've done the Pro's & Con's list & the Pro's out weigh the Con's for now!
There are Pro's & Con's on leaving him also! The Con's where Greater!

So what are you putting up with?

Respect is personal no one can take that from me! He might not give me respect but I respect myself!
I got ta do what I got ta do ....for now!

August 13, 2007
9:25 am
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wasabi
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Hope*
Thank you!
You are my soul sister!
I have done this with this women!
In the begining her husband was jelouse & I tried to get her to work with me not my husaband & help her set up her home office teach her a few things......... (we use to be friends years ago) But she would continue to go to my husband! My husband shared many times how frustrated he was with her! ....
Final we did end it! But that was also to be ended last Fall!
& Yah WE do NOT need her!She needed us!
We hired another sales rep! and we got to hold his hand too!
My husband likes to keep me in the office! I started seeing customers off & on an I'm learing how to draw to scale / site plans & read blue prints I also an operate the dump trucks & bobcat's !
But he dosen't want anyone to know.... it's weird!
But then he wil brag to others that I'm a Master Gardener & an Operater/(bobcat)
I also have other talents of my own & frankly I'd rather do my own thing! But I have to help him or he will go else where & he needs help!
We have 3 men in the last few years what to buy into our buisness!
To protect MY intress I now own 50% legal on paper! of our buisness!
We do not need this womens work ! She needed us & wanted him!
.......................
But here again, I hear my husband on the phone sending our new guy to a job to spray paint on the ground for a pool deck!
STOP.... I sold this job it's my daugher's friends Mom. I said do not send this new guy over to put paint on the grown....He will think it's his job & want money! Duh I can do that!
Why are you sending him over there that's my job!
He just doesn't think & he is tring to keep this new guy(that doesn't know shit buizzy!)
Well! I have found out he needs me as much if not more than I need him!
I get things done & keep it together ..and going!
I've busted my butt I'm not just walking away !It's not perfect but It's MINE!
Wasabi

August 14, 2007
4:37 am
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_anonymous
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Wasabi- You need to get this woman out of you and your husbands life. It is that simple. I personally do not tolerate anyone getting in between myself and my husband. Once he didnt get the message. Then I did it back to him. Then he got it. Thats why he's in jail

August 14, 2007
7:17 am
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taj64
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Why don't you want your husband to respect you? It that not important to you? It sounds as if you have to do a lot of work in this relationship to prove something, get more love maybe. Maybe it was not for me to suggest leaving it, it was only from my stand point that where there is smoke there is fire. This woman is interfering and your husband needs to be the one to step up to the plate and tell her to be gone, not you. If he truly values your relationship he will do what it takes to keep it. How about making him do some work in the relationship? It does take two. You are in intelligent lady here and either way you will make it.

What do I put up with? I don't. I used to but I do not anymore. I have learned to respect my needs and what I deserve. It took a lot of work for me to get to this point and develop my self esteem. I'd rather be happy and be alone than to be constantly working too hard to make something work. It should not be all work anyway.

I surely hope it does work out for you. But I sense you are very angry, I don't know it came across that way, defenseful about your husband. I just possibly sense that your husband is inviting all this drama in and somehow you are the one that has to suffer, not him.

My only advice is for your husbnad to tell all these women to back off.

August 14, 2007
9:50 am
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wasabi
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Well ladies!
Yes I'm pist off! But not at you TAJ
The truth hurts & .... love is blind !
This women is out of our buisness, but not totally out of our lives!
She seams to pop up here & there we live an work in the same metop. area!
Like I said she showed up on one of our jobs.... She just happened to come across in passing!
Our Trucks are marked & she know some of our crew! She worked with us off & on for a few years!
My husband is a hand full but I can not help it I love him!
I think he may respect me in his own way!!! But I use to WORK for his aproval .... but not any more! (remeber I'm very co-dependent)
I have come along way baby)
It's a prosess!
We have given here writen notice that WE no longer want or need her buisness in any way! My husband swears he will never work with her again! She is very angry at me.... I'm not sure why either!
Maybe because she didn't get want she wanted .....(what I have) Not just my husband! But it's deeper than that! see our men respect me & hold me in a level of authority.
That they do not give her! She even said this to me once , "they laugh at me!" But they call me Jefa which mean's Boss lady ! It makes me feel special even my husband calls me this sometimes.....yah like I'm the boss! But they all know & she does too I help run the show & I take care of the denaro....There pay!
I have expressed to my husband how some of the stuff he says or does makes me feel, sometimes he listens & sometimes he does not!
I'm just try to do the best with what I have & it's not all bad !
I say to him well what if it was a man calling me & what if I started a friendship with some guy & popped over or showed up all the time , even if I had not intrest in him at all who would you feel & how would YOU deal with it????
He get's very edge an does not want to discuss it....... Oh it is diferent for men A well I told him I would call her husband if she does not back off & go about her own life!
But now she is after our customers & that is not cool either!
If she keeps it up I will have to get a restaining order against her!
Thanks for your honesty !
It realy has me thinking more straight!...................

But with all this going on I do have a major crush on one of our men!
I have not shown my feelings & try to stay away from him but it's real hard!
Wasabi

August 14, 2007
12:40 pm
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_anonymous
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Set up your boundaries. Get a civil harassment order against her.

August 14, 2007
9:10 pm
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taj64
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Maybe a restraining order is the answer. I know this is not a pleasant experience for you but it cannot be forever. She won't be in your life for very long. Eventually she will find someone else to latch on to or she will get distracted with something else. I don't know about you but having a crush is one thing but to act on it is another. Be careful unless your husvand is ok with it, doesn't mind. Then go for it. And for what it is worth, I think it is great to be independent the way you are. It is powerful to be independent.

August 14, 2007
10:02 pm
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I think that the reason why you are so upset is because you feel you are not in control. That is because this woman is attracted to your husband (you have no control over that) and your husband has not stepped up to the plate and gotten rid of her (and you have no control over that). Anyone would be hurt about this situation. I am like taj I do not put up with any BS. I respect my needs as well. If I were in your position which I was I would let go of the rope and leave. That would bring it to a screeching halt. He would be so busy worrying about loosing you that he would do what ever it took to get you back including sending a definate message to her to get out of his life. If he doesnt well than would tell you all you need to know. I would also mirror his behavior and allow another male to behave the same way around me and ignore any of my husbands pleas or requests to get rid of the man.
My husband used to be very disrespectful of me when it came to other females. No matter what I said it had no effect he didnt care. Until I found an extremly attractive single male brought him over to my home right under my husbands nose. After he ran him off once. I did it again. At that point he decided that we needed to have a new rule to not allow other men and women in our lives. Too bad it had to come to that. That is why he is in jail. He got in a fight with the guy. But, he learned his lesson. That I will treat him the same way he treats me.

August 15, 2007
12:06 pm
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wasabi
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Yes, Yes Yes !!!!!
I have done most of these things!
Except taken leagl action on this women! ..........
I'm going to chille for now I've got so much going on as long as she leaves me & him alone for now!

I've got more important things to deal with!

As for the hot guy !!!!
No way ever would my husband be ok with it! He doesn't want me near any of them most of the time! He is very over protective & obsessed with me!
I'm only to speak or deal with them if told too! No shit!
Talk about control issues!
The old lady I care for told me it's because he is insacure (duh)& I'm very beautiful and he is affraid someone will steal me away with there carm & kindness......
Which is kinda what's going on too!
The crazy thing is he has no idea & I'm constently having to deal with this mans(the other man) personal paper work....Things no one eles would know or do ....I have all of his digits info personal ....take care of personal acct banking , leagl stuff .... They all(our men) trust me with there personal stuff I know why to much! I must keep so much in this little head!
So many secrects!!!!!
I can not even speak to this man or any man without my husband becoming very jelouse & angry !
it's a double standered in lots of areas!

I did try to break it down ...."well if I did this or that like YOU did but flip it .... Me in a buisness or friendly realationship.....Like you how would you feel ...etc....

He get's mad even the though of such & will not discuss it!
Well I know this man that works for us know's the deal he is very discreet when he speaks to me & ignores me when my husband is around! He seams to want my attention also but there is always others around so we both keep our distance. A few times in the past months he was here all by him self, he always tries to speak with me those days or do special favors for me other then the work he was told to do, he is very kind & good looking. We have this silent attraction thing going on. I can feel his eyes on me at times!
This is been going on for over 2 years & I've never done anything about it! It seams lately it's more intense! I'm tring to keep my distance but crave his attention & kindness... It would be the end of my life as it is if I had any phyical contact with this man or any man! other than my husaban which I have never done.... In all 20 + years I have been so good!
I so just want to talk to this man & be his friend but that is asking for trouble too big trouble!
I'm affraid if this man cornered me alone I would just melt......
I'm not sur I would have any power to fight it.....I feel he want's me too it's crazy real crazy....LOCO

August 15, 2007
12:33 pm
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Wasabi- Your husband has double standards and you are being controlled by his unspoken threats. He only cares what he wants (for you to not have anything to do with other men) But he doesnt care about what you want (to man up and take a definate stance with females). Of course he doesnt want to hear what you say, in his mind your feelings dont count they dont exist. You mistake all this sex, jealosy, control for love. Its not love it is abuse. Anyone who would fear their husband is not in a loving relationship. You are conecting to this other man to escape the pain form this relationship with your husband so that you dont have to deal with the problems in your marriage. All you are to your husband is a pawn. Being there all night and day for his business, etc. You are in denial. What stops you from leaving your husband is FEAR.

August 15, 2007
3:53 pm
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wasabi
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Way more then fear but yes fear!
Fear, finance, food , shelter, being alone all thought I'm all ready that most of the day! to starting over with nothing ending up with less then nothing...debt !
yes it is very scary!
But I hope one day to be strong enough to face it all that!
But not today!
I'm in a since useing him too!
I'm here but not! I stay but for why?or how long? I do this & that so I can do this & that.... I just don't have any where to go either! I've been with him so very long!
It's very sad in a way!
I'm not in denial I know he is abusive I know he is using me & is controling SOB ! I just can't leave until the IRS is paid off & other debt & then what?

I'm a realist!
Yes I do want to escape....big time & for now in my mind with this guy I so desire ..... So I'm not in denial I'm stuck! I tried to talk to him last night & he was being a jerk so I just went out side for a walk & he followed me, One min. he want's to be the good husband & then a jerk I just went to bed !

Sometimes I just look at him & think If you only new how you are pushing me away & killing what love I have for you! It's so sad!
Wasabi

August 15, 2007
4:24 pm
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Wasabi- It isnt how you feel about him that is the problem It is how you feel about yourself. Which isnt good evidenced by the fact you are allowing this man to make you feel like crap. I am sure he's wonderful everytime hes getting what ever he wants from you then he is none of that the moment you want or need something. Is it ever going to change? Are you going to be able to mold this man into something different? You have the classic signs of the battered womans syndrome. Thats what keeps you fixated, frozen. You think he has more power over you than he really does. Another man might be a safe harbor. It usually does the trick. Give you time to cut off the ties with this one. You will learn that you can be away from him completly and totally and feel better than ever. I think you are on your way. Sounds like you've known this other man for quite sometime. The IRS and debt will be assigned by a judge you can pay your share with or without him. A divorce lawyer can take a 2X4 and hit him in his running lights. You have been married to him for so long that you are entitled to 1/2 of everything. Life is about feelings enjoyable ones. Life is about love and belonging not power and control. You cant put a price on your happiness. You are as addicted to this mans destructiveness as my daughter is to meth. As long as you waste your time engaging in destructive things you dont have time to spend on constructive ones.

I want to find out if this man truley has the ability to love

1. Does he feel and enjoy affection toward you?
2. Does he show empathy (compassion) towards you?
3. Does he take care of you?
4. Does he sacrifice his own desires in order to care for you?

Or does he lack the ability to love. As in he may experience fleeting feeelings of affection, but the joy he gets from these feelings is far less than the joy he gets from having power & control over others. His inability to love is also called emotional callousness (like when he refused to listen to you). It seems like he lacks empathy. Empathy stops people from hurting others. This is because an empathetic person actually feels another person's pain. someone who is routinely emotionally and/or physically abusive toward others does not have empathy. Sociopaths generally show no care-taking behavior, and rarely or never sacrifice their own needs for those of others. When they do show caring, there is always a hidden agenda.

August 15, 2007
9:58 pm
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taj64
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Yes get the ducks in order here. Then see what happens. You never know but I think you are doing well to protect yourself here. And you know it. It just takes awhile to figure out all the points, point A to point B, etc. The grass could end up being greener but it is good to try it all out and then you can say you tried. That is all you can do is try. Then try something new if that doesn't work. It might mean giving up or maybe it will end up being then some and more. But you just keep trying and you will make it.

August 17, 2007
8:25 pm
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wasabi
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Sorry I have not been able to write!
It's been crazy!

Let's see where do I start or end....
It's weird I'm mad hurt pist then I deside in my head .....Forget this plan the big excape!
And he flips... turns into Mr. nice guy!
I'm so caught up! I've just got it too dame good here... even with the crazyness......

OK I crossed the line yesterday... I called HIM !!!!!Mr. Hotty!from Hondoras!
I left chilles & tomatoes(that I grew Myself) in his car
then called him & told him he is to say nothing about it!To any one!
But also I needed to speak to him about his banking (My husband wants me to do his banking for him...the other man) I hope you follow!
Well I needed to tell him to sign a paper at our bank..... It's so wierd I'm not to speak with him but I'm to be on his bank acct. ??????
I made him swear not to tell ant one I called him....... He speaks to me in broken english & my very poor spanish but we get each other.( He giggled on the phone when I Insist on his silence ! I told him my husband was a very jelous man!
I'm husband seems to be tring ...but still very obsessted with me , this is why I'm not to be around his men!
I'm so very attracted to this man did I tell you last year he took care of my animals while we went on vacation....
I'm so very badly asking for truble!
I can not help myself!
Today is Friday all though they work on Sat. when we are very bussy they hang out for a few hours every Friday! I'm not invited of course!
This man TODAY had a fresh white tank on & took of his bandana he wears one every day he looks more like a gypsey the hispanic. Then he went to the hose & wet his hair whitch is long curle jet black....
ok your killing me! It's like he nows I'm watching from the window & I am I can't help it I'm in this fog!!!!! Just shoot me know this is torcher!
Oh my mind is in the gutter!
I so want this man !

CRAZYNESS I know! I'm sorry I need to express it or I'm going to pop! I want to talk to him & that's not all!!!
HELP ...... I should of never called him he knows now!
I'm so stupid I could help it....

August 17, 2007
9:18 pm
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fantas
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Wasabi,
Sister, you best stop playing with fire girl or it's about to flare up all over your house. On one hand, you are upset about some hussy with the hots for your husband, and now you are secretly giving home grown chillies and tomatoes to Mr. hottie honduras whose got you in a fog? Oh boy! oh boy!

Seriously, I think you and your husband need to run, not walk to a marriage counsellor. It sounds like things are heading south very fast in your neck of the woods. Looks like you are both not getting your needs met in the relationship. Sounds like you all have a good thing going but you need to tweak it some.

All the best to ya. Keep us posted!

August 17, 2007
9:37 pm
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Matteo
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"Seriously, I think you and your husband need to run, not walk to a marriage counsellor." He he he! I like that and I wholeheartedly agree. Good luck wasabi - as you see yourself, things are getting more and more complicated in your marriage and perhaps some serious talk in a presence of a third, not emotionally involved person would be helpful for you and your husband.

August 17, 2007
10:45 pm
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wasabi
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Well I've been there done that he the husbans refuses to go to any counseling! Boo I wish he/we would!
Even asked him to go to church with me he will not & If i go alone he is a jerk & ask dume questions like who did I sit with?????
I said GOD I went to be with GOD!

I guess I have allways been the good wife! Looking the other way when men look at me or the few time when some have boldly tried to get my attention I have allways set them strait & been Faithful!

True I'm play with fire ........
Pay back is a bit&^ I will not take it very far I'm smarter... OK I'm playing with this man's head now very very bad of me!
I love my husband & I know he loves me , but I'm emotionaly starving to death & I'm alone most of the day or in service to my family & the buisness!
I am geting a hobby soon!(Horse)
That will help alot!
I basicly exist here most of the time in solo mode!
I have cared for this guy for so long I have not shown or express my feeling...I mean over 2 years I have hiden my feelings .........
Maybe the hole other women , my husband been so flirty in my face?
Has push me over the edge?
I think I like the fire idea!JK!
Not I'm real hurt & maybe I just want to hurt him back! But I know it would blow up in my face!
But of course he has done notheing wrong.
The perfect husband? I just get so tired of being the good godly wife that does whatever it takes to keep it together .......While he does whever he want's ! I just want to explode.....OH FIRE HOT !
Totaly bottled up!
What do I do?????????
I've tried talking to him begging , crying , ignoring him screaming , praying, threapy(I would go by my sel if he would go but that's does no good either) Church! I even said straight up why are we married ? Would you like me to just go away ( when he is made or drunk he says yes go back to where you came from? Where ever that is.........
Then when he is sober he beggs me to stay & he loves blah blah blah!
You name it I've tried it even left once ......but he talked me into returning! I even moved into our other house & started aan elderly care buisness & he missed me so much I was coming over there all the time & begged me to close sell & come home! So I did ...
It was killing me any way I did it every one told me I couldn't so once I proved every one & myself that I could I could let it go!
So any GRAND ideas I'm open ???????
WASABI crazy chica "Jefa"

August 17, 2007
11:00 pm
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Matteo
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wasabi, I don't know if my idea is "grand" but I would go alone to counseling, just to sort out my feelings, needs and wants. He is confusing you and doesn't apparently care how you feel, as long as you are with him.

"I just get so tired of being the good godly wife that does whatever it takes to keep it together .......While he does whever he want's ! I just want to explode." Maybe with some help you will realize that you really don't have to be that kind of wife, that there are two people in a marriage and they should both care about each other and their relationship. I heard this sentence very long time ago and it is always true: It is good to work on a marriage, but you have to have a partner to work with - otherwise it's impossible. It seems to me like you are the only one there. It must get very lonely at times (((wasabi)))

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