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goof
January 19, 2003
5:49 am
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Anonymous
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I spent a while today thinking about a guy I haven't thought about in years. Back when I was in group I made friends with this guy named Mike. I never could remember his last name. He was just another "buddy" of mine. That's the one area I seem to accel at. I can make plenty of buddies. Guys and girls to hang around with. Throw jokes at. Well... I used to anyway.

But I was just lingering on this thing I remember Mike saying to me once. He was a wild type of person. In school, he would be one of those guys that would have beat me up and made fun of me. He told me as much on this one day. That I was the guy he used to beat the shit out of in high school. But for some reason he thought I was really cool. The thought crossed my mind then that I was some sort of tool for him to atone. The nerd he could make up everything for. I don't know why, but he just suddenly sprung up into my mind today.

Thinking back on everybody I've known... I don't have any close friends. I never have. The people I hung out with regularly were just buddies. None of them knew anything about me.

The 2 friends I have now aren't really that close either. My nerd friend I've had since grade school... we know a lot about each other, but we've never really talked about personal stuff. I don't "know" him at all. We just like the same tv shows, movies, and video games and reference a lot of the same stuff.

My jerk friend I do tell personal stuff. But I hate his guts so much that he's never going to be a "close" friend. For some reason we just tell each other all the weird shit that we've done in our lives. He knows about my hospitalization, and all my girl problems. Likewise, I know about his failed marriage and that he spent time in jail.

Just thought I needed to say something.

January 19, 2003
10:18 am
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Anonymous
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Hi Silence,
Glad to see you being Vocal!
Someone told me once that if you have one really good friend in life...You are lucky.
Does being your own Best Friend Count?

January 19, 2003
12:11 pm
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Anonymous
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I don't think so.

January 21, 2003
3:48 am
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Anonymous
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Social isolation, or at least the perception of being isolated and having no one to share your innermost feelings with, is said to be adversive to health.

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