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Good with the Bad----Focus and Corners
February 5, 2005
8:54 am
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FreedomSeeker
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I had been fighting with myself all week not to send “I Miss You This Morning” to my ex. I posted it here and on a couple of other message boards, it seemed to take the edge off, but did not take it completely away.
One task that my counselor had for me this week was to delete my ex-partner from my messenger; I had blocked her and she was not able to see when I was online. I was signing in just to see what she was up to by reading her nickname. I was in the process of deleting her as a contact and I unblocked her and I did not know it until I got an IM from her asking if I had a second. My heart all but stopped. I said that I did and she asked if there was any mail here for her. I told her that I have been sending all the mail that arrives for her on to her new address, and then I said that I had to go. I then deleted her as a contact.

In those few words that she wrote a lot of the bad came back to me. It was like a booster shot. I had been missing the good things, grieving for them and the good that was part of our relationship…I was losing focus on the bad and it was brought back full force, the body memory, overwhelming feelings that I would get when things were not going well.

I think that it was a good thing. I think (hope) that I have turned a corner.

February 5, 2005
9:15 am
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Anonymous
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That's one of the symptoms that rise from spending too much time on the computer.

If you go out, to church or club where there's a lot of people, you'll see how ridiculous you've been. And you'll meet new people that are smarter, friendlier, and happier than your ex.

February 5, 2005
9:20 pm
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on my way
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It is also nice to have a male perspective on what so many of us females seem to battle as well. Good for you Freedom Seeker, and thanks for sharing.

February 5, 2005
10:12 pm
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SweetAmanda
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I was really sick; I had the flu I think... Along with a sore throat. It was horrible.

This was about 2 weeks ago.

Well, I was complaining to my mom about how bad I felt, and I asked her to write all my complaints down for me so that I could take it to the doctor to get some medicine.

I never did go to the doctor. I got better! (Thankfully)

But just the other day my mom had her notebook out while I was in her room talking to her. I was feeling down about things in my life never getting any better when she began to read to me:

It just fit together so well...

She started to read what I had been feeling. "Head aches. Neck cramp. Nausea. Can't swallow. Tired all the time. Coughing. Stuffed up. Etc. Etc." I sat back and thought wow, I remember that! It was just a little bit ago, but I remember feeling that I would NEVER get better.

Funny how things change.

They will for you too.

And yes, like Jason said, go out and do something fun for yourself.

(((Hugs)))

~Amanda~

February 6, 2005
7:16 am
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FreedomSeeker
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Hi OnMyWay,

I am sorry, but I have not given you the male perspective, I am female.
:S

Freedomseeker

February 6, 2005
9:36 am
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GullyFoyle
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But the advice is good. I found that by leaving the house and getting out among the people, the bad feelings and obsessiveness deminished. Didn't go away completely, but gave me some breathing room. Only problem is that it is getting expensive! I don't just wander, I shop.

Get out and have some fun! But leave that credit card at home.

Gully

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