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Good news - Im learning to communicate my needs
August 14, 2007
5:51 pm
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courage to change
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I just wanted to share this with everyone.

For the last couple of days i have been in emotional turmoil, trying to work out what to do. Head going off on a tangent. Obsessing, cause I felt hurt by my partner. This was a misunderstanding on both sides.

Anyway, I felt so nervous, but I built up the courage to communicate with him tonight. In my heart, I new I wasnt going to try to change him or make him be anything he did not feel. I new that if the answer wasnt correct for me, I was going to let go of him.

Well the answers he gave me from his heart, were exactly what I wanted to hear. In my heart I believed what he said. I believe his side of the story in our misunderstanding.

Communicating with him, has shown me that there are two peoples side of the story. I listened to him. He did not blame me, just told me how he felt. I told him how I felt. We both understand each others needs now.

Inside I want to cry with joy, cause in the past my exs always blamed me for so much. This partner does not blame me for anything.

It feels like a breakthrough in my recovery, and I feel like im moving forward.

Just wanted to share with everyone, my self esteem has increased, just cause I communicated with my partner, about what I need. The good news is he wants to give me what I need from his heart.

Now only time will tell this between us.

We both dance tango and that takes two also.

love xxx

August 14, 2007
5:57 pm
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Antagonist
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Congrats. It's great to hear/read about some of us having positive outcomes once in awhile.

One thing I would like to mention, I have noticed that it's a common thing, that when people being to communicate and try to find a method to work something out both sides tend to think the other party is trying to push the blame to the other party.

My ex most of the time assumed I am blaming her. No matter how I tried to convince her that I am not blaming her just trying to tell her how I feel she constantly believed I am pushing the blame on her and wanting her to fix everything.

Anyways, always keep your mind clear when you start talking to your significant other about troubling subjects. If you go in with a busy mind thinking he is only going to blame you, nothing positive will come out of it. Same goes for him.

Glad to hear things worked out tho. Enjoy it, you deserve it.

August 14, 2007
6:04 pm
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courage to change
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Thank you Antagonist

This is all very new to me. All I know is that whenever I communicate with my partner and Im calm before I start. I learn about him, and me. Its absolutely beautiful to be with someone that does not play games, and is straight forward. All very new, taken long enough to find him.

This relationship is teaching me loads, especially good old fashioned Communication.

xxx

August 14, 2007
6:22 pm
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Antagonist
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Communication is a very important aspect of a relationship. Sadly both me and my ex-girlfriend lacked big time in that field.

She would always assume I am blaming her, while I would try my hardest to make her understand I am not blaming her and want her to only understand how I feel.

In the end everything fell apart. Sad that this was the outcome.

I am very happy for you. It must be a great feeling to feel such accomplishment. I am also impressed that your boyfriend did not react selfishly and realized what he needs to do.

August 15, 2007
2:53 pm
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Rilin
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One thing that I have learned is that men and women speak 2 diffirent languages( pink-women/blue-men)and so we have key in on what is being said so that we might interpret what our partner is trying to say, We are made equally, but designed diffirently. Check out the book...Cracking the Communication Code by DR. Emerson Eggerichs it is biblically based but it doesnt shove religion down your throat, it might be very insightful... Good luck. and congrats on the breakthrough

August 15, 2007
3:00 pm
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lalasgirl
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enjoyed reading your good fortune and good communication. listening is an art form because most of us just HEAR. ah, but listening and absorbing and speaking the same language at the same time....you are blessed.

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