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GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING,THIS IS NAPPY
August 25, 2006
11:13 am
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nappy
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Good Morning, Good Morning, With god all things are possibles.
Yesterday after talking to god and finally give up trying to do this one on my own, God allow my guardian angel to hold my hand and guide me. God knows everything and he knew that this decision was hard on me because this was my son.
My son came home late last night and I waited up for him to tell him that he had to go. He didn't say anything. He ask if he could eat and I told him yes. I also told him that he could rest but when I get up in the morning, he had to go. Well this morning everything was fine until he ask if he could take my DVD PLAYER. I'm like take my DVD player where. To the pawn shop? No way in hell is that thing going anywhere. He was angry but I didn't care. He said some things because he was angry but I just told him that I will be praying for him and now he is in god hands. He is angry for the choices that he choose and is mad at the rest of the family members because we are trying to live in this world and also realize that we as a family is all that we have. We have tried to help him but his anger toward us is something that he is going to have to get over.
Others was telling me about taking pills for depression and stress and I realize that if this was 10 years ago, I probably would of lost it, but I knew in my heart that I was a stronger person then that. I thought about all what I have been through in my lifetime and realize that it wasn't me that was doing it, it was god. He was the one who brought me through the storms that I thought I wasn't able to go through.
I love my son very much and want the best for him but if this is what he have chosen for his life then I have to let him go. I knew that my stress and depression was coming from him but I guess I just didn't want it to be but I had to really look at the situation and came to term that I couldn't really help my son unless he wanted help for himself. It break my heart to know now that he is hook on something that he can't do on his own. And I know that the only way he is going to realize is when he hit a brick wall. When he left my home, I told him that I have now put him in god hands and that I will be praying for him.

The will of god is never exactly what you exprect it to be. It may seem to be much worse, but in the end it's going to be a lot better and a lot bigger.

As a mother I guess that I tried to carry my sons crosses but realize that we all have our own cross to bear.

August 25, 2006
11:19 am
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nappy
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And also thank you all so much for being there for me. I had felt all alone but realize that I do have friends here and there are peoples out there that do care.
God does bring peoples in your life, even if it is a support threads.
I can say that all who have problems on this thread, trust in god!

August 25, 2006
1:06 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Nappy:

Isn't God good!! I know this was such a hard thing for you to do. I know that sometimes talking to my son in a "straight up" manner makes me look so cold, but ya know he appreciates it. And there will come a day that your son will appreciate what you have done also.

Told ya you were strong enough to handle this one. Specially w/ God at the frontline. Feel at peace about what you did for you son, coz as hard as it was... it was truly the best thing you could have done for him. He must be accountable.

Blessings and a great day to you. 🙂

August 25, 2006
1:09 pm
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CAMER
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Nappy, i am so proud of you for setting your boundaries, and your son will now have to learn to take life on his own. He will be ok, he will find a place to go and friends, etc. And I truely hope he changes his life for the better.

You did all you could do, and not enabling is the best thing to do.

(((my prayers are with you and your son)))

August 25, 2006
1:50 pm
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nappy
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Yes it was hard but now that I started looking at how all of it unfold this morning. This was the one time that I didn't have to wake my son up. He was standing by the DVD PLAYER but I didn't think anything about it. I think that I had scared him when I came out of the bedroom and he was looking crazy. I guess that I really didn't think that he would of stole anything from me, since he see that I was trying to help him but I think that drugs will make you anything and don't care who you hurt.
My other son was like, by asking you to take the DVD PLAYER, where was he going to plug it up at and he don't have any DVD'S. We all are hurt because this one was the smartest in the family, went to college and do have a very smart mind but I never would have thought that this son would have ended up on drugs.
God is good and is good all the time, I was just scared because I don't want to see my son looking homeless when he is a very attacted young man.

August 25, 2006
1:55 pm
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StronginHim77
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nappy -

Sometimes, we have to sort of "get out of the way," so that someone we love can BOTTOM OUT and finally face Reality. I think you have done the right thing. I am also very grateful that you got up in time to stop him from stealing your DVD player. Now, we will pray for him. He is, indeed, in God's hands.

- Strong

August 25, 2006
3:35 pm
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nappy
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Thank you Strong, You have been there for me when I needed you the most. It is so hard to let go of someone that you truly love. All kind of thought are coming into my mind but I know that my son will be alright.
It is hard to get out of the way but I know that now I have to do it. This is where I need my mother to just hold me and say that everything will be alright.

August 26, 2006
9:48 am
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StronginHim77
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Nappy -

Everything WILL be all right. He may have to hit rock bottom, before he looks up. But he WILL look "Up."

August 26, 2006
10:22 am
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Rasputin
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Nappy -

Brokenness comes b4 blessings. As you has wisely said: let him hit brick wall or rock bottom b4 he realizes that he needs help and thus change.

Pride comes b4 destruction is one of my favorite adage when I witness people getting themselves soaked in all the mire and mess caused by their own foolisheness and ignorance.

You're admirable for letting go of your son and getting out of the way and releasing your son & the whole situation for HP.

(((Hugs & Prayers to U & yr son & family)))

August 26, 2006
9:41 pm
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Stanky
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Nappy,
I'm proud of you for telling your son to hit the road. You should probably change the locks on all your doors. Drugs make people lie, steal and cheat and they don't care who they hurt.

Continue to be strong. I'll be praying for your strength and for God to open your son's eye's to the truth.

Stanky

August 27, 2006
12:32 am
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pearlseeker
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Nappy, how are you doing? I am glad to see that yu made the right decision and that your son left "peacefully". Yes, you should change yur locks if at all possible.

Let us know how you are doing now. Your son is in God's hands and He will know what to do with your son. And now your life can get back to being YOUR life.

Stay strong. I really admire you.

August 27, 2006
1:28 pm
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StronginHim77
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Nappy -

Just checking in, to see how you are doing today. Figured you might be out to church, like I was.

- Strong

August 28, 2006
12:34 pm
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nappy
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Hello Strong,

Sorry for not getting back with you all. I was having trouble with my car and had to wait that evening before a friend of mines came over to check on it.
I didn't get a chance to go to church but I did watch a church sermon program on telvision. It still was a good day and a good weekend.
My friend that came over to fix my car is a recoving addict of nine years. We really talked while he was fixing the car. I have known him now for five years but knew of him for 20 something years. I knew his family, his mother had six kids, three girls and three boys. I knew that the boys started on the wrong foot in life by being on drugs and drinking. He was telling me that his mother had three boys out there doing wrong and she finally had to give up on them until they came to there senses. Now two of the boys are doing well and one is in prison. I couldn't imaging having three boys out in the street. Having one is tearing at my heart.
I haven't let go of my son because I will be there if he get's help. Rehab is the place that I want him to go and know of one that will have him but he is going to have to be willing to take a step toward his life and I will be right there to support him.
But I refuse to enable my son knowing in my heart that he was not doing right out there when I was sending him away when I had to go to work. I refuse to listen to the lies that I had believe in for a long time before I found out that he was on drugs. I love my son but that does not mean that I have to like what he is doing and have to accept what he is doing with his life.

August 28, 2006
4:02 pm
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StronginHim77
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Nappy,

You have definitely done the right thing with your son. It is time for him to bottom out. I know it is tearing you up, but keep your eyes fixed on the "goal." Until he gets desperate, he won't throw in the towel and get the help he needs (rehabilitation).

Be at peace, my friend.

- Strong

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