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God morning! Another for the guys....Call or not call?
November 8, 2004
9:42 am
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on my way
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It seems we have many threads going around about whether to call if we do not hear from you. I guess the confusion starts when we think it is automatically abandonment, or fear of choosing another emotionally unavailable person, or simply just wondering how a guy views a girl who will call if we don't hear from you after you say you will call.

November 8, 2004
9:54 am
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starryslp
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From my hands on experience with this issue...if they don't call...then they don't want to talk to us..

I know it is a harsh reality...i have to face it everyday...but it is reality....

just my opinion. I wouldn't call

November 8, 2004
10:16 am
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Anonymous
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I agree, I met this guy this weekend through a set up with my friends. I ended up drinking too much and puking everywhere. So then, I figured he won't call. Well he left his number for me on my kitchen table, because he took me home, since I couldnt drive, so i called and left him a message thanking him for taking care of me, he called me back two hours later, and then called the next day to ask me to a movie. When they call they are interested. When they dont call, they aren't interested. Same with us.

November 8, 2004
10:26 am
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workinonit
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Yes, but when they call too often, they are usually controlling.

I met a guy a few weeks ago. All we did was talk. I didn't even think about it romantically, just conversation about writing etc. Should not have given my # but I did. Next thing I know, he calls me everyday! I answered once and then got freaked and called back after 7 of his calls! and said I didn't want to go out with him cause I wasn't ready yada yada.

This guy was obsessive!!! Beware of this crap!

November 8, 2004
10:28 am
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Anonymous
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Agree with all of the above..

November 8, 2004
12:17 pm
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kathygy
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If a man says he'll call and dosen't then I would think he's not interested for whatever reason. I would not call him. Also, I am not interested in a man that doesn't do what he says he will. That's a red flag for me and I am not interested.

November 8, 2004
12:19 pm
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art angel
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kathy,

agreed, 100%!

November 8, 2004
2:31 pm
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sewunique
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Oh poo, reality sucks!!!!!!!!!

thanks for all the honest input.

I have been waiting for a "friend" to call "will call soon, maybe we can go for lunch or dinner" that was couple weeks ago, he is just a friend and a very busy professional man.

But another post said to go ahead and "causually" call.

So I am back to; call or not to call?

I am confused. Just waiting and waiting is killing me.

November 8, 2004
2:47 pm
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bubishi76
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Well,
Most everyone knows my plite. I always say call. I am however, learning that calling on a regular basis may be confused and interpreted as controlling. I came from a family who calls. If he isn't calling it could be that he is not interested OR it could be that he really likes you and is a littel nervous at what the next approach is. If it were me, I'd called you.

November 8, 2004
2:59 pm
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LEILEI
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Hi to everyone, basically have said some of the same things, just differently. when it boils down to it, we are all better than great people, and possess common sense. So, my thought is to follow your gut instinct, your first thought being the right though. Sometimes, I think to much, take things to seriously, and assume. When I assume, over time I learn than what i was assuming - was the exact opposite of what was really going on.

November 8, 2004
2:59 pm
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LEILEI
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Hey b - you there?

November 8, 2004
3:00 pm
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sewunique
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Tx Bub,
I know you would LOL. So would I.

It was a short term relationship that we got involved and I am afraid he does not want to be committed as he is otherwise; work and other things.

So it was beautiful for what it was. Problem is, we will meet again thru contacts, I am sure and he is a friend of the family.

Guess I should settle for just sending him a Holiday card when time comes and leave it be.

I still want to call him and say hello, in a casual, non threatening way, but do not even know what to say. I am always the one to initiate the e-mails and calls. Then he responses, then stalemate.

I know he likes me, I must be poison to him.

November 8, 2004
3:04 pm
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sewunique
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Hi Leilei,

I agree with you, I get caught up into thinking too much. That's what this guy says about me.

What are your thoughts?

Loved your new thread you started on your "AD"; alot of great responses!

Sew

November 8, 2004
3:10 pm
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bubishi76
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Hey everyone,
Still on?

November 8, 2004
3:15 pm
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sewunique
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I'm still here

November 8, 2004
3:26 pm
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sewunique
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2:30 signing off:(

November 8, 2004
4:30 pm
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artist 2
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Hithere... If it were me, I'd get busy with other things and not call him. I know it's tempting when you think of many good scenarios and reasons to call him instead... then you'll spend time thinking of scenarios when you could be enjoying yourself... I'd just get busy with my own life and forget about it. If he has your number, and wants to talk, he'll call you...

November 8, 2004
7:22 pm
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sewunique
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Art,

You're right. Get so busy, as to fill in those time gaps.

Hard to do but I will try.

Tnks

---Sew---

November 8, 2004
7:31 pm
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babysteps
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I'm in the same boat.... 🙁 Boo to silly boys that don't realize how incredible we are. 🙂

November 8, 2004
7:33 pm
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workinonit
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lisset, did you try calling him? And if you do, are you prepared?

November 8, 2004
7:58 pm
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on my way
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What is so funny is that I don't think one guy answered this! LOL! Am I right?

November 9, 2004
12:50 pm
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kathygy
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Why do you want to pursue a man who has said he is not avialable to committ to you???? You sound like you want more from him than he can deliver. I would let it go and look for love else where.

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