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GOD, I AM PISSED!
July 3, 2000
12:12 am
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holly2001
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I'm back from several months' hiatus. And I have figured out alot of things. Read "Dr. Laura" (pedantic and simplistic as she may be) for some insight into my ire. Anyway, the sites are clogged with the usual dribble about "oh, I have no self esteem," or "oh, he's abusive" or "oh, what should I do about da da da>...?" My new answer is "whatever you need, you have to get it yourself". I have finally figured out that no person, no man, no therapist, no parent, nobody, can help you be who you really ARE. Every person knows deep inside what they ARE, who they ARE, but many are afraid to express it because "it doesn't make money" or "he/they don't approve" or "I'm not that good at it" or "society doesn't value it", etc, etc. Well, I'm sick of that dribble, to be honest. All of us are feeling weak at some point, and we just want someone to come along and "fix" it for us, be it our therapist, our family, or the studley man riding up on his white horse to sweep us away! I'm saying that it doesn't work that way. EVERYBODY ELSE in the world is doing their own thing, and making it, however meagerly, in this world. THey know we each have ONLY ONE LIFE to live and they see that we can either be happy and make the most of it, or we can be miserable, blaming our unhappiness on "the world", "society", "parents", "my husband", " etc, etc... Please WAKE UP and see the truth about yourself. It took a major emotional crisis for me to wake up and see "myself" and I don't want you to wake up too late. The earlier the better. Don't let the MEN or SOCIETY or YOUR BOSS or YOUR PARENTS or anybody make you think you CAN"T follow your TRUE DREAMS. My true dreams are to rescue animals or to become a chef. Next year I will begin one of them, whatever I have to do.. What will you do?????????????

July 3, 2000
5:11 am
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hazza
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I agree with your thoughts holly, although I try in myself to add a little compasion! Although I understand exactly how infuriating these things are! I myself have grown a little weary lately of seeing the same old stuff come up again and again.
But these are all people at different stages of the same road that we are on.
I know that the sympathy i recieved here opened my eyes alot to many things and I am glad that it continues for all who seek it.
Part of that recovery is that we must accept people at whichever stage they are along that road and if we choose to and they ask then we can help them. Unfortunately we cannot teleport them to the same part of the journey that we are on - they have to travel; there naturally at their own pace - some quicker, some slower.

I understand your messeage about following your dreams - that is exactly what I am doing now.
I have started a catering business and and also working in a web design business (who isn;t?!) and also selling my jewellery now. It took working for prats in a job I hate and a near breakdown before I learned that lesson that you talk of and jacked it all in to follow my heart.
Maybe that reaching of a personal crisis is part of the whole thing - however much we would like to get people to learn without the pain and avoid that kind of crisis - i think that it is a part of the whole thing and you cannot get to this stage without it?
I sure wish I too coul dsave people the hassle of those moments of collapse - but I think we each have our own epiphany (sp.?)and that is what makes what we learn so real and poignant to us.
Good luck in following your dreams -I hope you do BOTH of them, you coul d cook devine meals for rescued cats - I hear they love fish!! Seriously though, get training and do these things you want to do - If you want it bad enough it will work out good for you.
Peace
Hazza

July 3, 2000
8:57 am
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Spirit
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The pendulum swings far to this side, then far to that side before it finds that gentle rythum that allows us to lead relatively peace filled lives. Yes, Hazza, we must go through moments of crisis, that is how we grow. No, I for one do not like to see anyone suffering from their crises, but do understand it is all part of one's journey.

As you stated, Hazza, we all are on different stretches of road, and it is part of who we are, those that feel driven to, to give a helping word to those who are where we used to be. Its wonderful to know that we were once where some are currently, and also, could find ourselves back there again if not for the reinforcement found in helping others.

Holly: Do not loose your heart to self, remember where you once were and how you rose above it. Give compassion to those in need and feel blessed that you can. Go for your dreams and take peace along as your companion.

July 3, 2000
6:32 pm
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heartfelt
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Those who have progressed, not made it for we always grow if we choose, have an obligation to be there, passit on, plant seeds, help, listen and definately learn from the "dribble" and "same old stuff"....one wonders how we as a community can feel ok about not helping others who have been at the very quicksand with out reaching hands trying to hold on to something to get out.

July 13, 2000
2:13 pm
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Castle
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September 24, 2010
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Hi Holly,

I can see what you're saying and I agree with you....But I think the boards just give people a little nudge when they are lost in life or feel helpless when they have someone to talk to or they feel someone's sympathizing. I, myself, realize that nobody can help you unless you're willing to help yourself, but it sure does feel good to get it out and know others have been in your position. I believe counseling shouldn't be used as a crutch for people with problems, but as a way of opening new ideas......and making clients see that there is hope to help one's self. And...that they can only find this hope when they believe in themselves. We could all be a counselor to someone! If we listen.

Hug to you all!

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