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God can kiss my ass
June 18, 2002
11:45 am
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Cici
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I don't get it. Most of the time, whenever I think my life sucks, I realize how insignificant I am in the great big scheme of things. It helps me to cope. Like, when I get really depressed or upset, I literally cannot stand it, so I do something about it. I don't understand, and I would like to, what is the point in NOT finding a way to cope and feel better about yourself?

June 18, 2002
1:13 pm
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eve
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Cici, I'll try to explain why I think this could happen - silence, please tell me if I get it wrong.

I guess that everybody has a mental picture of *this is me, yep*, a virtual internal reality of *me*.
And I guess silence (like a lot of people, maybe just in different aspects) just doesn't have enough phantasy (or enough guts?) to believe that some character who is content whith their life could be in any way part of this *virtual me*. So he seems very afraid of loosing his self by conforming to standards, caring for others thoughts, opening up to external input, interpreting the tiles and tribulations of life some other way as 'they are all out to get me, and they have good reason for that because I'm a no 1 asshole'.

I mean, he is absolutely masterly in maintaining his *virtual self*, you sure have noticed that. Look how hard he worked whith this one evening he spent by chance in agreeable female company.

Anybody could just have gone 'bugger, next time this happens I won't forget to ask for her number, but this was really a nice evening, I finally did something right'. Not him, he needed to work a bit to find the flaw, but voila - he came up whith 'see what a useless looser I am, I did forget to ask for her number, how horrible I am.' This was received whith due consideration and nicely obsessed about. Finally leading to 'god is out to get me, haven't I told you so'. Now this gets him lots of annoyed reactions, no wonder - and he is home and dry - silence doesn't have to change, and confirms his view of himself and the world in general by working hard on self fulfilling prophecies.

Hey, silence, maybe you should read all those crazy German turn of the century philosophers (like Nietsche, Schopenhauer..) They were quite good at this kind of thing, too.

Sorry for being sarcastic
Eve

June 18, 2002
2:03 pm
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gypsygirl
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Maybe it was gods way of telling you not to put those flyers out.

June 18, 2002
7:06 pm
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silence
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I always considered myself the third reincarnation of Nietzsche. You know how sometimes you just "know" things from past people without actually knowing them. I get the weirdest feeling of deja vu around similar types of people.

Depression is a reoccuring theme with me. I'm not suffering from it, but it's not helped by my constant negativity. The reason I focus on what goes wrong is because I'm usually right when I imagine what is going to happen. Good old pavlovian reenforcement of an activity.

June 18, 2002
9:57 pm
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nikka
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Hi, silence. Seems like Eve might be a bit 'on to you.' Recall the words 'self-fulfilling prophecy.' Perhaps? unconsciously? you set the stage for sitauational failures by deciding beforehand that a situation will end in failure. Your imagined ability to predict might play into this too, you'd rather be right, than content? Thus, the failure arrives right on time and your prediction comes true (w/ no effort, conscious, on your part?) Hmmmmm. Might wanna give this a passing thought. Could you be sabotaging as well as predicting? --- And your sarcasm is unmitigatedly brash and subtle at the same time. Not that you don't have talent, how one chooses to use said talent is the question, seems to me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Depression is a disease, but we often feed the disease and no amt of meds is going to make depression go away, Ms. B, w/out some work at being 'non-depressed' by the patient. At least in my opinion. Whaddya think? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Cici -- very insightful on the origin of falme wars. Just the right amt of sarcasm or even disagreement coupled with just the right measure of defensiveness and, voila, a masterclass flame war and the site coordinator scrambling madly to clean it up. BTW- how's the computer game going? any second thoughts about going into the therapeutic side of this game? You have talent, gf.

June 18, 2002
10:26 pm
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silence
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I don't like to think that I'm sabotaging myself... rather that I'm a negative psychic. Or maybe a refined cynic. How do you become an optimist in this day and age?

June 19, 2002
12:14 am
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time4change
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I just got home from a NA meeting and there where people that had needle marks on their arms, people that were going back to jail after rehab, people that lost there family and homes. Some of these people including myself could be just one drunk are one high away from death. All of these addicts displayed a great deal of optimism for life. Slience it starts in the heart. Either you'll get it are you won't. Life is going by fast if you haven't noticed, so much wasted time.

June 19, 2002
1:09 pm
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Cici
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Ah, nice time to interject my favority quote:

Cogito, ergo sum.

I think, therefore I am.

We take for granted this statement nowadays. How I think - how I process the perceptions that I create of the external world, DEFINES MY WORLD.

C'mon Nietzsche - this is the origin of existentialism. I love this abstract philosophizing. I've had many a late-night debate with friends about this.

There is no such thing as a definitive external world. Every aspect of the human experience is colored by our limited first-person, subjective perception. YOU create pessimism or optimism by how you choose to perceive the external world.

For example, I walk into a room. Three of my friends who had been having an animated conversation stop when I walk in. What do I think?

a) They were talking negatively about me, and want to hide it. They're all out to get me, they hate me, they're not really my friends

b) They were talking negatively about someone I care about, and want to hide it. They're rude bastards and I hate them, they're not really my friends.

c) They finished their discussion and had a natural pause in conversation

You can see, each of these three perceptions will lead to different acitons and emotions.

Hey, Nietzsche, there's a whole school of psychological philosophy based on your work! Existential psychology! One of the best written works was Viktor Frankl - "Man's Search for Meaning". Frankl even makes a general determination about the meaning of life. Check it out. Or not. It may upset your super-controled, carefully maintained identity.

June 19, 2002
3:54 pm
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silence
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Archimedes out to Socrates, Socrates back to Archimedes, Archimedes out to Heraclitus, he beats Hegel [who,like all the Germans, is still thinking]. Heraclitus a little flick, here he comes on the far post, Socrates is there, Socrates heads it in! Socrates has scored! The Greeks are going mad.

The Germans are disputing it. Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside. But Confucius has answered them with the final whistle! It's all over!

June 20, 2002
3:12 pm
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Cici
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Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could drink you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And Renรฉ Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed

(Thank you Eric Idle)

June 20, 2002
4:15 pm
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silence
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Gotta love python. The strangest thing is that I hate most of their sketches. I find the TV show only barely watchable. It's those rare moments of genius that totally redeem them.

Of course Hollywood Bowl was a great performance all around.

June 20, 2002
4:45 pm
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Cici
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I was forced to watch Python videos back to back as a child, and I hated them until I got older and started smoking pot - suddenly they became hilarious, har har har

June 20, 2002
5:25 pm
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silence
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Same here. My sister's boyfriend, now my brother-in-law, loves python and the beatles. Everything had to be a python reference or it wasn't funny. So I reluctantly watched everything. I found my own bits to enjoy even though they aren't the commonly accepted funny bits. To this day I still cannot see what is so funny about the spam sketch.

June 20, 2002
7:11 pm
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nikka
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Goddess! silence! No wonder you're such a snotty little bugger. All of that Python, AAAAANNNNNNDDDD THE BEATLES! -- Quick! someone break out the super-duper xlax --- this child needs cleansed!!!! what besides the philosophers' football and the philosophers' drinking song need to be flushed from your system? 'Norwegian Blue?' 'Norwegian Wood?' Ron Wood? oops, wrong brit group.... You are a cad, sir. You have never lived in a basement, have you? A house in the Hamptons. 106 rooms, 20 servants, all the old antennae from the Soviet consulate. Uh-huh. Onto you now, you bad boy!!!

Wise and calm enough for you, Blondie?

June 20, 2002
7:23 pm
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silence
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Not that bad. I tolerate the Beatles. I don't listen to them regularly on my own though. And you will never cleanse me of salad days.

Sorry to disappoint, but I am in my basement... which now smells like cat pee. Rain water leaked in and is bringing up old smells in the rug.

June 21, 2002
10:15 am
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Cici
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Ugh. Get a new rug! Or that powdery stuff you sprinkle on and then vacuum?

Hey, silence, have you ever heard of Nick Drake? He had like 3 or 4 albums in the early '70s and then killed himself. Beautiful music for depressed people. He did that song "Pink Moon" that's on that car commerical. Don't remember which.

I was forced to sit through all the Star Trek movies back to back - 10 hours of sci fi torture. Dad also did that with Star Wars, which wasn't as bad, but he did it with the Die Hard movies, too. URGHRGHRHGH.

When I get depressed I go shopping, get my hair done or I go to acupuncture or a massage therapist. Have you ever had a professional massage? BUTTER.

June 21, 2002
10:34 am
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silence
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You stop smelling it after a few hours. And since I slept down here, I don't even notice it anymore. My mom is complaining that she can smell it upstairs. Oh well.

Heard the name. Probably heard the music. But I am the absolute worst at connecting peoples names with who they are.

I did that a few years ago with the star trek movies. Back when I went to the movies with my friend every week. They had a weekend long movie marathon of the first 6 star treks and free tickets to the opening of generations. We had to watch two movies a night during the midnight hours. I've never watched every single trek movie before then. All I have to say is, what the hell do people see in that shit? The first movie was just awful. The second movie was pretty good. In fact I still watch that movie if I ever come across it on TV. Third and fourth were mediocre. Fifth was bad. And the sixth movie... I just stopped caring. I wanted to go home.

My California sister is a masseuse. Whenever my family gets together she gives everyone a rub down, except for me. She tried to give me a massage once, but I'm too ticklish. I've always been too ticklish. Damn older sisters.

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