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Giving a 2nd Change - Interesting/Good Article
July 27, 2007
3:48 pm
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Zinnie
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How To Know If He Deserves A Second Chance
Relationships in The Soko

Deciding whether or not to give an ex a second chance is not always easy. Esther Zsoldos has some advice on how to make the right choice.

Even the largest and most unwanted insects manage to find small cracks in the walls of our homes to sneak in and make our lives miserable. Some of us can say the same things about ex-boyfriends who have managed to sneak into our lives by convincing us that they have abandoned their jerk status and deserve a second chance.

It’s important to ask yourself the following questions when your ex-boyfriend tries to crawl back into your life and you don’t know whether or not your relationship deserves a second chance at romance.

The Happy Times vs the Sad times

If you have to put thought into whether the happy times surpassed the sad times, the answer should be clear: Don’t give him a second chance because he didn’t make you happy. Giving him another chance will only cause you to revisit the past and encounter the same problems over again. If you had major problems then chances are they aren’t likely to dissolve into thin air.

All relationships have their ups and downs but emotional turmoil should not be an everyday occurrence. If he doesn’t understand why you get upset at him all the time, then it might be the right time to find someone who can communicate on the same level as you and understand why you react the way you do.

However, if you’ve worked through problems successfully before and feel as though your relationship encompasses something special which is worth working out, give it another shot.

The Opinions of Friends

Did your family and friends approve of your ex-boyfriend who is trying to make his way back into your life?

Your friends and family are the ones who know you best and support the fact that you should be treated in a way that keeps you happy. They are your personal support system and are always at your side when you need a shoulder to cry on, and they provide you with advice when you are confused or distraught.

If your friends and family don’t approve of your ex-boyfriend who is trying to weasel himself back into your life then it might be a sign. How can you allow a man who isn’t respected by the closest people in your life to claim such an important status in your life? Does he really deserve it, or did he manipulate you in order to obtain such a place in your heart?

Clearly, figuring out whether or not he deserves a spot in your social circle should be thought through before you let him back into your life.

The Reasons Behind the Break Up

Take some time to reflect on a moment in the past when he broke your heart. Do you remember yourself crying on a friend’s shoulder or drinking the night away with friends in order to forget about the way he hurt you or made you cry? Are you prepared to repeat such a process if his scheming ways strike again?

Heartbreak can be encountered in any relationship. However, giving a guy another chance once he has already broken your heart can be an extremely regrettable judgment call. An important question to ask yourself is why you would want to be with him if he doesn’t want to be with you. Unless you are able to communicate what went wrong previously and how you can make things better, conflict will be an inevitable and unavoidable matter.

Look at All Sides

Examining all these factors is important before determining whether or not he deserves a second chance. The answer might be quite clear even though you refuse to admit it to yourself. You might find yourself searching for reasons to let him crawl back into your life, but make sure you remember how you were treated previously and ask yourself if it is what you really want in a relationship.

Figuring out whether or not there is a spot for him in your future is ultimately your own personal decision.

Happiness matters most.

Sometimes women fall back into relationships because they are used to a certain routine of being with a man, or simply don’t want to feel lonely. But revisiting a painful past while realizing you could be exploring new options will just cause an elevated level of emotional anxiety.

Feeling happy with yourself is the most important and if getting back together with your ex-boyfriend will prohibit this from happening, then it is time to move on.

July 27, 2007
9:33 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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this is a wonderful article thanks for sharing, Zinnie,

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