Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_TopicIcon
getting over them?
April 15, 2000
10:59 pm
Avatar
ions
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

i really am not sure if my ex is the root of my depression/current state of life but definately a major part of it. it has been almost a year since we have broken up, we broke up because 'it' was just no longer there for her. we remained friends until she started dating again and my heart was removed painfully. i was still very much in love. anyway it has been almost a year like i said since we have spoken and i think about her all the time still. i make the most ridiculous relations, such as songs, commercials, actors, everything reminds me of her.....now here is the kicker, i was not especially happy in the relationship! dont get me wrong she was an amazing mate but there were things that just weren't right. i have convinced myself i would have married her, in fact i proposed on more then 1 occasion. but if i can separate my emotions long enough to use common sense i realise it would not have been a healthy marraige. but to my point....i have no social life! none. at the end of the relationship i ended up moving for work purposes and am far away from any friends i had. i am slowly, VERY slowy developing some new friends but it has been difficult. i am lonely. i would like to think that all it will take is a special girl to come along and banish reminants of my ex, but she has not come.....i attempted to move on through the use of casual sex. that was a disaster. i lowered my standards immensely and felt horrible about it for ages. still do. i left my job 4 months ago to join another company and that position is taking much longer to materialise then i had expected. inother words i have no $ at the moment to go socialise at bars anyway. not my favourite social forum anyway. i guess before i go down too many tangents i should say the bottom line is i am lonely and want to get rid of persistant thoughts of my ex. i even dream of her. help?

April 16, 2000
7:15 am
Avatar
Jasmine
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think of my ex too, since we broke up in january. and the reason we separate is because he's thinking of his ex. this is ironic as well as cruel. but I think there's no immediate solution to get rid of a loved one from our memory. I'm trying hard to do so, but he's floating around in my sea of mind. Everyday, I would inevitably pass the place where he first held my hand. That persistantly remind me of him adn every promises he made to me. but so what. it's all gone now. People told me that the main reason for me to be sad is not really because of my ex. The major reason is probably because of my other past unresolved problems. so, would you think thoroughly before keeping yourself being so down?

April 16, 2000
8:50 am
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sounds like you need to start enjoying being with you. If you were not happy in a relationship that has ended and yet think of that person al the time I would say you were more in love with the relationship itself and not the person. But she ended it and not you so now you are being unreasonable in wanting her back.

your next relationship will not be any different until you discover who you are, what makes you happy and you start being happy in a relationship with your self.

You need to work on you... and like Jasmine says...you need to stop keeping your self so down.

April 18, 2000
7:51 am
Avatar
hazza
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

HI Guys,
Try to accept that you will be thinking of these people for a while yet, it is understandable. DOn't even try to banish the thoughts, that is like pushing against a door the wrong way!, just let the thoughts come and accept that you are going through a grieving process for the death of the relationship.
If you can keep you head about this and realise that these thoughts will go away naturally on their own when the time is right, and don't pin all your hopes on some other person coming as a distraction. Then you will learn to accept this as part of life and learn that you can cope alone while you weather this storm.
You cannot force grief to dissapate, it has to work its way out of you naturally. If you try to avoid that pain by using other people or getting angry that you still feel this way, then you will end up bottling these emotions up instead of letting them work themselves out.
In time as you take care of and love yourself, joyous happy healthy people will come into your life, be patient and ride it through, you will be stronger for it
Peace
Hazza

April 18, 2000
5:59 pm
Avatar
dunc
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My spouse left in Feb after 27 years. Depression set in and I sought help. On meds and therapy. Is helping. But sometimes just wanting to smell him again, can't watch lovey-dovey commercials or shows yet. I get anxiety episodes with these thoughts and have to medicate to get over. It is helping. I can talk to him for short periods without these feelings coming. It has taken a lot of tears and heartache to get here. You need to develop a small circle of have been there's. Separation/divorce is something no one can know unless they have been there or are there. TALK

April 20, 2000
8:59 am
Avatar
ions
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks guys I appreciate the advice. With the weather taking an upturn because of spring getting out of my house is easier. I have been trying to appreciate every new moment and not compare it or wish it better if my ex was with me. Trying to 'Be Here Now' in the moment.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
48 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 109491

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38532

Posts: 714181

Newest Members:

taniarw3, wandaub4, pixelasync, RomanDef, lesleypq2, chip-xxx

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer