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Getting Caught In The Trap-Some Help
March 31, 2008
4:01 pm
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nevereverihope
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My npd bf has been abusing me for years. Well I finally had enough and moved, (to another state) but I do speak with him. He started medication and said that he feels he has his rages under control. I don’t trust him at all. He says that he wants another chance. He has made these promises so so many times before, to no avail. The medicine he is on is for depression/antisocial. Nothing about rage issues. He still flies off the handle when he gets mad, and threatens me constantly that he will find me, if I do not come back to him. That doesn’t sound like someone who is healed in any way. He claims that he only speaks this way because he is hurt. Any suggestions would help. Thanks.

March 31, 2008
4:16 pm
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nappy
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What suggestions are you looking for?

You need to re-read what you wrote and tell me what you what out of this situation.

Nappy

March 31, 2008
4:31 pm
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nevereverihope
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Hi Nappy:

To clear that up, for help, how do I finally break this cycle and get rid of him. He is constantly threatining me that he is gonna take my life. I am very scared of him. He has done things that are psychotic and he is demented. I am very frightened of him. I believe he is very very serious. Its either be with him or pay the price.

March 31, 2008
4:36 pm
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DorisDay
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Don't answer his calls..don't email him, and make sure he cannot find you.

March 31, 2008
5:15 pm
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nevereverihope
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Hi DorisDay:

Easier said then done. Although I am in another state, he has my address, my work address. Actually he has quite a bit of information on me, my SS number. When I left him I was sure I took all papers, but he must have kept a journal of them incase I dissapear. He is a true psychopath and will not take NO for an answer. Most of the times I am on the phone with him its just to appease him so he doesnt start his crap. I cant get rid of this guy.

March 31, 2008
5:40 pm
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autumn128
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You need to go to the police. tell them youre being threatened, and stop taking his calls. Let him ramble on your voicemail, save them, and let the police hear them.

This man has not changed. He can tell you that he is on medication, but then he threatens you. He's either not on medication, or it's not working.

Please don't take this lightly. Get the police involved.

Autumn

March 31, 2008
6:24 pm
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nappy
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Your biggest mistake was talking to him after you moved. The whole point is getting away from a dangerous person but you didn't, now you feel that you have to talk to him, but you don't.
Somewhere in your heart you is still hanging to hope that he have change but you also know that he haven't.

"Its either be with him or pay the price."

I rather pay the price in not being with him and to see what all that I can do to protect myself, then to go back into hell and can't get out. He will surely kill you then because you left before.

You also need to STOP answering his call and let the answering machine pick it up or change your phone number. Let the police know what you are up against so that they will have it on record. If he is that dangerous, I probably will be buying me a gun (sorry) but it would be my life not his.

And why are you believing a man that has abused you or questioning if he is alright.

No he is not.

Nappy

March 31, 2008
11:57 pm
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MsGuided
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never
You'r leaving was a brave strong thing to do.
You are already away from him.Why do you let him fool with your head this way?
Why do you contact him and answer his calls?
You should try to stop all contact and move on with your life.

It doesn't matter what he is On, or what he tells you....his actions are dangerous and criminal, NO EXCUSE! Don't let him control you this way or continue to threaten your safety, emotionally and physically.

Change your Phone #'s, or put a block on his # for now.
Maybe move again?
You don't owe him anything.
Use Law enforcement if you have to (report he stole your SS #, and he is threatening you, just for the record) but just think "out of sight out of mind, on to BETTER things"
Surround yourself with "normal" people and activities.That will reinfoce your self esteem.

He will hopefully fade away and find another target when you stop responding to him.

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