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future in-law
November 11, 2009
2:06 pm
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Anonymous
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Any ideas on how to proceed with a future mother in law who is kind and nice, but seems to be very judgmental toward "dysfunctional" families? I don't want to create a drama, but when I nod at her when she speaks like this, it is not genuine on my part. So far I've been treating her the way I'd treat a boss who spoke that way...don't make waves. As I said, she is kind and decent besides this. My significant other is wonderful too. An y ideas would be much appreciated.

November 11, 2009
2:34 pm
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Lanigirl
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Are you able to talk to your significant other about how to handle this? Good to open up a conversation about family before you get married.

Is this a personal issue for you?

One hot button for my family gatherings is politics. So I've learned to get up to go to the kitchen.

November 11, 2009
3:01 pm
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cancer
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I would say leave it alone, if she is kind to you, thats enough. Maybe she have her reasons for speaking this way, you can always try to find out why then form an opinion.

November 11, 2009
3:28 pm
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Anonymous
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Cancer, yeah, I've been really just leaving it alone for the couple years we've been together. Lani, my significant other and I have talked about this. Her comments have been about the family of the spouse of one of his siblings and about some people on their own side. We both know we can't change another person. Concern is coming up for me more now because she is going to meet some members of my family this gholiday season.

November 12, 2009
8:54 am
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cancer
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Well, you are already aware of her attitude and you know the kind of family you have, if it happens try to nip it in the butt then. This kind of judgemental behavior would make me uncomfortable, always wondering if you will make a mistake, and you cant get your family to please her, so at some point someone will have to let her know its just not nice.

November 12, 2009
10:07 am
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fantas
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I agree to leave her alone unless she starts talking about your family. If she does, then you should stand up for your family, and end it there. Some people can only see the wrong in others and not themselves. This is her character flaw to deal with.

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