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Funny thing happened today...can someone please tell me what this is about? Is this man seriously disturbed?
October 24, 2006
11:58 pm
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revelation
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Um, interesting thing happened today!

I;ve gotten addicted to walking, power-walking...fitness walking, whatever you want to call it! If I don't do it at least three times a week for an hour, I feel crap...I'm not one for the gym as its too much organisation, so I prefer to just throw on me sweats and me trainers, walk out the door and keep walking...round the block a few times or whatever. So anyways, I'm there walking away this morning, full-throttle, just reaching that nice stage where you really feel the muscles burning, I'm up near where the ex lives with his folks (well, ho only lives around the corner from me, so its hard to avoid) when out of the corner of my eye, I spies a little head peeping out from behind a car...its the ex, HIDING BEHIND A CAR UNTIL I WALKED BY!!!!!!

What???? Why???? a similar thing happened a few months ago but I didn't really think about it until now. This last time, I had bumped into him on the way to the shops...that was ok, fine. Obviously though, he was about to go into the same shop, because when I came out of the shop, I spied him hiding in bushes until I came out of the shop...and then I turned around to see him walking into the shop.

What is that about? OK. those of you who don't know the story its a long one, but basically, I am well-over him. he completely ripped my self-esteem to shreds when we were together with verbal and emotional abuse. He then discarded me when he thought his band was going to make a lot of money...I had two miscarriages while we were together, he was absolutely no support at all. When we broke up it was a nightmare...I tried to cling on, then I let go, then he threatened to vut my throat so I had to get the police involved...then he came begging me to help him find a psychiatrist, then he told his mother that I had threatened to shoot him and lots of other lies of a similar type...blah blah, it was all drama drama drama. He has a history of wierdness long before I came along. But this behaviour...this wierd wierd behaviour...well, I didn't think anything he would do would shock me...but this just blows my mind. Is he a nut-job? Is he afraid of me? Is he pretending to be afraid of me? Or does he have some avoidant personality disorder? Is it his guilt that he's afraid of?

I dunno...it freaked me out though.

Anyone got an opinion?

October 25, 2006
1:13 am
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Travlin_lite
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Hi revelation,
I have to say you need to go with your "gut feeling". Your thread says it to you. I know personally where I have been the last 1 & 1/2 yrs that I watch my back because I never know if mine will show up somewhere I don't expect and it would be like him to hide behind a bush. In fact what he did because I had to live next door for three months before I could move into apt he had camera with microphone planted somewhere in my friend's house and that was totally spooky believe me.. Often our gut will tell us right away and we we try to mentally and emotionally second guess ourselves. Please becareful and share. If the same scenaro was a stranger how would you feel? So because he is your "ex" does that make him safe? Someone that managed to manipulate and take your self-worth?

October 25, 2006
3:38 am
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Zinnie
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He might be "hoping to bump into you" - or so you would think, but, the hiding behind the car?

Unless he WAS hoping you would not see him - which is probably a good thing - since he does not sound like a winner to begin with - I hate to bring the term STALKING?

Go with your cut. At least carry pepper spray and and a hand held alarm with you. If it keeps happening - perhaps contact your local police and at least file a report.

Z.

October 25, 2006
7:58 am
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Palmsy
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His behavior is definitley not OK. It may be as simple as "he wants to bump into you again". However, with his behavior in the past, it is best for you to protect yourself. Did you speak to him? You may want to contact the police again if you already have a past of him threatening you. He has ruined your self-esteem and had control of you in the past, and he is trying to interfere with your new life. He does not have the right to jeopardized your new lifestyle and happiness. His behavior is not normal.

October 25, 2006
9:08 am
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- revelation -

what´s your point in telling us all this ("you point being ...????").

who gives squat what he does (or doesn´t do) - and - for whatever reason or motivation ?

do leave HIS problem where it belongs - with him

just KEEP ON WALKING

October 25, 2006
9:54 am
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StronginHim77
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Rev -

My "ex" has done the same thing to me. I agreed to meet a girlfriend for dinner at an "out of the way" little Mexican restaurant. She got there, just before I did. (We are talking maybe 2 minutes before I pulled into the valet parking area.) When" she arrived, there was my "ex," standing at the bar. He nervously returned her greeting, then asked if she was "meeting friends?" When she replied that "Strong" should be joining her at any minute, he slammed his drink down onto the bar and RAN out the side door. He must have been hiding there, crouched down, until I got out of my car in the front driveway and entered the building. He was absolutely PETRIFIED of running into me. Left behind his drink, his check and his take-out dinner (which the bewildered bartender carried out from the kitchen in a paper bag, just a few seconds after he bolted & fled).

My theory on this is that they don't want to face us. They are deeply ashamed of how they have mistreated us. I have subsequently learned that he will not enter any place where he sees my car parked outside. Hilarious. The first few months after he so cruelly dumped me, I was afraid of running into him. Now, I know the truth: HE is ashamed to face ME. That is very empowering. Inhale that Truth and let it strengthen you. You are stronger, finer and better than he is and HE KNOWS IT. That is why he is afraid to face you.

October 25, 2006
9:54 am
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StronginHim77
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Rev -

My "ex" has done the same thing to me. I agreed to meet a girlfriend for dinner at an "out of the way" little Mexican restaurant. She got there, just before I did. (We are talking maybe 2 minutes before I pulled into the valet parking area.) When" she arrived, there was my "ex," standing at the bar. He nervously returned her greeting, then asked if she was "meeting friends?" When she replied that "Strong" should be joining her at any minute, he slammed his drink down onto the bar and RAN out the side door. He must have been hiding there, crouched down, until I got out of my car in the front driveway and entered the building. He was absolutely PETRIFIED of running into me. Left behind his drink, his check and his take-out dinner (which the bewildered bartender carried out from the kitchen in a paper bag, just a few seconds after he bolted & fled).

My theory on this is that they don't want to face us. They are deeply ashamed of how they have mistreated us. I have subsequently learned that he will not enter any place where he sees my car parked outside. Hilarious. The first few months after he so cruelly dumped me, I was afraid of running into him. Now, I know the truth: HE is ashamed to face ME. That is very empowering. Inhale that Truth and let it strengthen you. You are stronger, finer and better than he is and HE KNOWS IT. That is why he is afraid to face you.

October 25, 2006
10:25 am
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Rev,

I think that's hysterical!! What a wimpy, pathetic little man he is!!!!

I wouldn't try to figure him out. Just take it for what it is... further proof that he is a lunatic!!!

If I felt like playing with him... I might peak around the corner and say "Boo!" or even better... say "Tag! You're it!!!" (You know, pretending we were playing a game of hide and seek! Then, he'd be well aware of the fact that you knew he was squatting down in fear... ) Then, chuckle and power-walk away... leaving him in your dust!!! HA!!!!

You're doing great Rev... and he is still the same sad, cowardly little nut-case he always was! Good Riddance!!

Much love,

TC

October 25, 2006
11:41 am
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smarterone
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Sad little guy, real little. Either laugh at it or take a different route, either one, be safe and enjoy.

October 25, 2006
11:43 am
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atalose
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It sounds like he is just avoiding you and doesn't want a face to face confrontation.
I wouldn't read anything further into it.
He has problems and you should be thankful to be free from him.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

October 25, 2006
12:54 pm
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revelation
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But...there wouldn't be any confrontation...I have passed him by in the street several times...I have nothing to say to him at all.

October 25, 2006
1:04 pm
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taj64
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The thing is for you that you have grown much stronger since this relationship therefore what he is doing now seems different to you. He now is more disturbing to you because you are healthier. Don't put much time into these thoughts, he doesn't deserve any thoughts. It is good to get to a point when running into the ex means nothing. It means you have recovered, thank goodness right? And it means he is off his rock star pedestal right? Right.

October 25, 2006
1:11 pm
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revelation
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Right!

October 25, 2006
2:35 pm
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needtoheal
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Rev---

Hi girl!! I would agree with the others... Keep yourself protected as much as possible... but keep on walking and let him continue to be the COWARD that HE is....

Men who are so controlling and manipulating are SO WEAK -- especially after they know that it is over and it does not affect US... those that they tried to belittle and then when we try to leave, they then try to LURE us back to them...

Take care

I've been walking a lot myself.. Exercise does really help our state of mind...
Good job

with love, friendship & respect,
NEED

October 25, 2006
2:35 pm
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needtoheal
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Rev---

Hi girl!! I would agree with the others... Keep yourself protected as much as possible... but keep on walking and let him continue to be the COWARD that HE is....

Men who are so controlling and manipulating are SO WEAK -- especially after they know that it is over and it does not affect US... those that they tried to belittle and then when we try to leave, they then try to LURE us back to them...

Take care

I've been walking a lot myself.. Exercise does really help our state of mind...
Good job

with love, friendship & respect,
NEED

October 25, 2006
7:09 pm
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revelation
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Thanks all!

What a nutter, I mean, what a loon...no matter how much I wanted to avoid someone I wouldn't hide.

I was thinking today though...that the absolute only reason I would hide if I saw someone coming in the middle of the street would be if (a) I owed them a lot of money and didn't have it or (b) I'd done something really awful on them and was afraid of a confrontation in other words GUILT!

Guess I've answered my own question then...poor bloke has done so much wrong on so many people he'll spend the rest of his sorry little life hiding!

Rev.

October 25, 2006
7:37 pm
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needtoheal
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REV---

You are absolutely right!!!

Both my ex-husband and the NOW EX-B/F are serious liars... both are in denial about themselves... and they are both guilty for their actions...

And they are always hiding because they cannot face the truth....

October 26, 2006
4:30 pm
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gracenotes
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This sure brought up memories of the time when I was planning on dumping my ex-fiance. He was a liar, and probably a sociopath too.

I finally got to the point of having enough and I broke it off. Right before I did that, we had plans for New Year's Eve and I could not find him. I knocked on my friend's door, who also lived in the same apartment complex, and she let me in and then very quietly told me that "G" was hiding in the closet. Hahaha. Scared little boy, caught in a big lie. Probably didn't any money to go out.

The rest of the story is not funny though, because he did turn into a stalker, and that was at a time before stalking was recognized for the crime that it is and I was on my own as far as protecting myself.

Despite his current cowardly behavior, please, be careful. If you see him, and have to go up that street (do you have to walk that way???) just keep on walking and do not engage with him at all. If it occurs again, please contact the police and make a report. It is important to do these things just in case things escalate. Not saying they will, but just to be safe.

October 27, 2006
3:23 pm
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Newhorizons
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I think he is a stalker; get a restraining order against him. You do not want to be another statistic out there. I have been married to a socipath, psychic man for 20 years who I believe tried to kill me and I'm not in the house no more. We only have one life on this earth. It's probably a blessing in disguise you didn't have any children with him. Even though it's a tramizing experience to deal with I KNOW. You should not allowed him to stalk you. Call the police file records when he is hiding in bushes around your home without a reason...get a neighbor to be a witness to see this. Call the neighbor before you go for your walk, let him or her be a watchout and a witness to this. The police will have to take action. Also know your antistalking laws find out your rights. NO ONE HAS TO LIVE THAT WAY!!

Hope this helps.

October 28, 2006
9:52 am
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revelation
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I tried to get a restraining order before when he threatened to cut my throat, but I wasn't given one because we didn't live together for long enough...the family laws are a little different here in Ireland.

October 28, 2006
10:00 am
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needtoheal
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hi rev---

so sorry to hear about this man putting you through all of this mess...

just want to say hello and that i will be thinking of you

today is day 7 of NO CONTACT

*******one week***************

and i am feeling so much better

of course he called me on MOnday and I did not answer the phone

left a voice message -- basically said that he was not sure if i had a good weekend or not -- as if I could not possibly have a good weekend without him....

then he sent a text message thursday...
hi beautiful... i miss you....

I will never forget when you were there for me in the early morning when i was feeling so upset...

thank you

I do appreciate it

and i will be thinking of you

October 28, 2006
10:05 am
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StronginHim77
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Need -

ONE WEEK!! YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

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