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December 20, 2001
12:20 pm
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new chap
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Hey Freinds, i don't have any words to say i am very very tensed i am not even able to think

i don't feel like doing anything, no concentration on work.

just waiting for....can't even cry as am a guy
terribly depressed,

December 20, 2001
12:32 pm
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gingerleigh
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Hello Mr. NewGuy.

So what is floating around in your mind that's got your muscles in knots? Work? Holidays? Relationship troubles? Diet/Exercise? Just can't put your finger on it? All of the above?

I know it's hard to get started removing the knots. One thing that has helped me in the past is to take some time off, even just a day, and make plans to see no one. Either just stay home in a safe place and not do anything, or go for a drive to somewhere that there is nature and sit for a few hours and just soak it up. Blocking out the background noise of daily life even for just a few hours can help tremendously as far as figuring out what is really eating you.

*smile*

December 20, 2001
12:34 pm
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Molly
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Just start typing here, what you are feeling, what is depressing you, where it hurts. Labeling the problem is the first step, sometimes that is the most difficult part, and takes some rambeling. There is pleanty of space and time for that here, and you will be surprised the support that you will recieve. In the mean time breath, in with the good out with the bad. Take a warm bath, put on the candles, and music that is relaxing, most benificial is that with out words, sounds corney I know but it does work. Breath, and write.

December 20, 2001
12:37 pm
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Ladeska
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Jumbled thouhts, no motivation, numbing out, feeling sad, feeling frustration....all sounds to me like - you've got something on your mind that you need to bring out into the open and lay all the pieces on the table. Like Molly said - just start rambling.... Sometimes, you just have to vomit, ya know?

December 28, 2001
2:24 pm
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new chap
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Thanks, Ladies for the response shown, i still can't figure out anything, also most of you all belong to the westeren countries & i am an Indian. So am not sure whether you can help me & can understand my problem. Thanks!!!

December 28, 2001
2:50 pm
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gypsygirl
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Just let it out anyway, we have more wisdom than you think.

December 28, 2001
3:04 pm
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jess2
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people have problems the world over.
I dont think you need to be in the same country or culture to be understanding, caring, insightful and able to offer "something" to someone in need.
so whats up new chap?

jess2

December 30, 2001
12:58 pm
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new chap
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Can anyone tell me what a girl want's in a boy! what qualities does she expects in him! i am well settled in my profession, have a good number of qualifications, own a good house, have a good height & maintained body, no habits of smoking & drinking, believe only in Hard working, have a number of Hobbies. can all you girls tell me what you all & other girls generally look for!!! Why did my heart broke, still i cannot pick up the pieces. WHY GOD MADE EMOTIONS & WHY HE MADE ME SO EMOTIONAL & SENSETIVE

January 4, 2002
1:34 pm
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new chap
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Hello Freinds,

i just wonder why all of you disappeared from this place after i wrote a few lines.

Molly i am really surprised by the no-reponse received. Is there something wrong, i wrote whatever i felt to write, i guess depression & anger made me insane to write in that way. Anyway are you people thinking that i am trying to impress anyone or flatter you all by writing in my possitive factors, if that is the case then i think that all of you have misunderstood me. i just wanted to know what girls really wan't in a man. i can understand that all humans differ so do their likings & dislikings. before proceeding with anything i wanted to get some response. my gf liked everything in me, she used to say that dear i really like you. she never said anything but i feel that she was very conscious about my nose as i have a hump in my nose, her parents too liked me. but at the time of decision she said that please wait for sometime i said yeah i am ready to wait but you have to finally decide something, she got in a situation where she was neither able to say yes nor able to say no, i really did not minded she saying no to me, but she was just trying to hang me around she used to talk in a such a manner (as if like you don't look for any other girl, but let me see if i could find someone better).......if she would have talked to me about any problems she had with me i would have sorted it out......even i would have never minded to go for a surgery if really something was so much bothering her.......i never asked her to get into a 36-24-36 figure neither i did asked her to change something in her............even while breaking up she was saying me to wait for some time & her "some time" is an indefinite period.....today i really feel like as if i lack in something......i am even considering of going for a surgery, i don't mind the pain i have to undergo i just think that some people can not afford to treat their life threatening disease and i am going to waste money for a cosmetic look....first time in me life i got so depressed i really don't know what to do? should i get into a grooming schedule, try to change myself to look more like a model......she really expected me look more like a model a hero And what if in future that girl again tries to return back to me? This is why i asked you all that what do girls really look for in a boy, does the looks matter so much, is really everyone getting into the apprearence driven world. i am sorry if i have posted something wrong, made some errors please forgive me if my language is not clear & understandable. really here there is a pleanty space. almost more than an hour has been passed writing here. Do really anyone of you have time to go through it & understand my problem. Anyway Thanks for everything!

January 4, 2002
2:17 pm
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jess2
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newchap,

i didnt answer you ive never had a "normal" relationship with a boy/man my age. i thot maybe some of the others in here would have a better reply for you so i stayed quiet.

but since no one has answered you yet and that has you concerned, i will tell you what i think...

the kind of person i would want in a boyfriend is the kind of person i would want in anybody. if you look on the "what is a true friend" post, these are the things i would want in a boyfriend not just a friend. a boy/or man who could be a true friend to me would then allow me to open up on a more emotional and intimate level.

i dont know if this is the kind of response you were looking for. but, thats how i feel about this topic.

jess2

January 4, 2002
4:36 pm
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Molly
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Wow, just posted, and wahla, gone.
sorry I haven't posted, life, and my own drama's.
Sounds like you have what most women want, as long as you smile, laugh, can carry on a conversation, and listen, sounds like your a perfect catch. Perhaps you had expectations of this girl, and she let you down, it happens. What you need to do is get back on the horse as we westerners
would say. Go out there and don't get to deep to fast, that way if this girl does come to her senses, you might be open to the possibilities, if you haven't found some one else.
Now I am going out of town, so I don't want you to feel abandonded again, go out on a date this weekend, and give me a detailed report on Monday when I return. Ranmar went out on a date, and his fingers aren't even touching the key board. (help me please) So, get out of your pain, and go have fun, Molly's Rx.

January 6, 2002
10:45 am
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new chap
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Molly Thanks for the response, I can't go for a date so soon, you may be right but still not able to get out of it. just wondering what to do?

January 7, 2002
1:44 pm
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harmonygirl
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new chap, every woman looks for something different in a man. Just my opinion, but if your girlfriend asked you to wait while she looked for someone "better", she's definitely not the one for you. How cruel! I realize that it may be too soon for you to start dating someone else. Each of us heal at our own speed. You should spend some time being good to yourself, taking care of yourself. There's nothing wrong with cosmetic surgery but I wouldn't do it for her. I'd only do it for myself. Broken relationships are hard to get over but it does get easier with time. You are among friends here.

January 7, 2002
2:53 pm
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Molly
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Heal at your own pace, however, isolation is not the way to heal. Your not going to meet any one, or get over self conciousness sitting at home in front of the computer. Interacting with others is the only way, ok, so your not ready for any one on one dating, but what is wrong with group stuff? If nothing else go people watch.

January 8, 2002
12:10 am
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syqg
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You change your nose and God only knows what else you'll feel u need to change. The only thing u need to change is your view or yourself. What do you want in a woman is the true question. Do you want to live with someone and not be sure they like you, your nose and all? You are not the only human being trying to find love out there. It's scary, but it's worth the journey wouldn't you say? You sound too dependent on others views of you. Too intimidated by life and relationships. Loosen up, maybe all it is is your not the one for her. Shouldn't everyone have the one the want? Doesn't mean there's something wrong with you at all, you both just didn't CLICK.And when you finally CLICK with your special someone, your nose will be the last thing on your mind, I promise u that. Have a wonderful life with someone, or alone.

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