Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
From Broc......
February 24, 2000
3:59 am
Avatar
BROC
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

To all,

I don't think I have ever created/started a thread, but wanted to make sure those that readily recognized by nickname read this.

I can't tell you all how much I appreciate you, and this site (A big thank you to the site coordinator!) I have been coming here for almost a year, and can honestly say that it has been a HUGE part of my own personal recovery. The stories, personal experiences, etc. They really help, especially when you come here not knowing your ass from page 10 (a little saying I got from my grandpa!) This site has provided me with the comfort like that of a warm blanket - to know I was not alone. I was not broken, or fucked up, or PYCHO as my nice and understanding (former) group of friends labeled me and then abandoned me. Talk about a fucked up group. Sorry, thats judgemental.

Anyway, I have spent literally hundreds of hours here. I have had a few nicknames, two to be exact. Some of you that have been here that long can probably guess my first one. Boy, so much can change in a year. A year ago, I wanted to take my own life because I felt so useless, so helpless, so unloved and unloveable. I have a nice home, a sweet SUV, girls left and right, cash, etc. and was the most miserable SOB you would have ever met.

But God, I believe, did me the biggest favor. He set me up with a group of people that put the dys in dysfunctional. He set me up with girls, ALL the same (my type/pattern of woman), that would put me through hell. (Actually, as us oldtimers now, it was my dyfunctionalness that made me attracted to them, and them to me) And all that shit got so big that it knocked me down on my ass.......I hit my bottom. It hurt, and I didn't want to live. God, it hurt soo bad. But I cry when I think of how I almost gave up. I am so glad I hung on and fought to be healthy. To think I almost threw it away makes me sick. What a waste that would have been.

I am rambling again, huh? My reason for telling you all this is this.

If you life is shit now, IT WILL NEVER GET ANY BETTER, UNLESS, AND A BIG FUCKING UNLESS, YOU ROLL UP YOUR SLEVES AND GET TO WORK. I promise you folks this is the truth. I promise you. For if you don't make a vow to really change your life, and get some professional help to aid in that change, to dig down inside of you to figure our the REAL reasons you do what you do, then you will never be happy. Its just the way the world works. You must open up that head of yours and examine every inch of your being, for it is whats INSIDE OF YOU that has caused all the grief and chaos in your life up until today. And again, if you let it fester, it will, in the end, be the end of you.

I am pretty famous for my sayings, so I will leave you with this. Actually, I will leave you with two of my favorites. And its scarey on how really true they are.

"If nothing changes, nothing changes." And, "if you do what you did, you get what you got"

Bottom line. Learn. Grow. Question it all. Do everything you can to learn about what makes you tick. IF you do, I PROMISE you you will end up with a life that is so grand, so peaceful, so serene, that its almost too good to be true. I did. But I had to wade through 10 tons of shit to get it. And even with it, I still work my ass off to make sure I stay on top of my recovery. After all, its MY responsiblity!

Broc

February 24, 2000
10:17 am
Avatar
Cici
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bravo....

February 24, 2000
11:27 am
Avatar
site coordinator
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Broc,

I'm very glad you found our warm blanket on the net. That was our intention…and what a good anaology!

We all need to keep growing, and most importantly - keep ourselves 'in check'.

- SC

February 24, 2000
3:00 pm
Avatar
winter001
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

each step of the way, each realization, it helps to know there are others who have turned themselves around. knowing that i had a problem wasn't enough i needed to know that there was light at the end of the tunnel, something to work towards, and even though, i still can't see the light, and i don't really know what i'm working towards (sure as hell know what i'm working away from!) it's you guys that have convinced me that i can do this and that "it" is worth fighting for. Thanx for sharing.

February 24, 2000
6:31 pm
Avatar
VRJ
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey jc (or hammer as I affectionately call you). I'm glad you were around too. You hit me with the sledge when I needed it. I'm happy you've grown.

February 25, 2000
9:01 am
Avatar
hazza
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Broc,
Nice one!
you have helped many people understand the who co-dep patterns and repeating mistakes stuff really well. It has helped so many people. I am glad to hear how much you have grown, it is also nice to know that men can make these changes too!!! sorry don't mean to be sexist but i think you understand what i mean.

Kepps up the good work, we have lost a few good people here on this site when they have felt that it was time to move on, its great that they have done so, but it is also nice that others like you have hung around to help and keep giving advice to those who need it.

This site has helped us all so much. well done SC!!!

peace to all

February 25, 2000
9:43 am
Avatar
lost soul
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bravo Broc!don't know what to write, just feel like contributing some words.HEE HEE HEE 🙂

February 25, 2000
11:29 am
Avatar
Brenda
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Broc,
im happy for you. You are an inspiration, I really thought I was getting it together but my partner is really turning up the heat, I guess hes afraid of me leaving.
This codep thing is bullshit, Im really tired of it.
Maybe you could give me some words of encouragment, friend.
A hand in the darkness...........

February 25, 2000
12:45 pm
Avatar
BROC
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

To all,

Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you think I am of help. I am just trying to give a little back, you know!?

VRJ, You remembered! 🙂 Our little secret! hee hee

Brenda,

Am not familar with your story? Is there a thread that I can read to bring me up to speed on your dilema?

Broc......................

February 27, 2000
7:09 pm
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Broc...am new here. just getting started sorta. Or getting back to where I was beofre I started raising those 4 kids and their ADD Dad (he's a sweetie)

More later. gotta help with dinner.

I appreciate you lots!

February 27, 2000
7:51 pm
Avatar
glassgrl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Broc,
Im glad to hear a success story! I find it impossible to imagine myself getting to that stage. At this point I see no light whatsoever and the pain is too intense to bear. I am looking very hard for just a little hope. Im a little surprised no one has posted to the thread I started (End of 3yr relationship...). Did I give too much info? Was it too overwhelming or what?

glassgrl

February 27, 2000
8:27 pm
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

glassgrl....i'll go see...yes there is a light.
Might still be under a bushel tho.

see ya there...

February 28, 2000
4:27 pm
Avatar
BROC
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

glsgirl,

will go read you post now. don't visit this site on the weekends usually.

Broc-

February 28, 2000
5:33 pm
Avatar
glassgrl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hrmm,

Anyone know what happened to the new thread I posted? Talk about feeling rejected.

glassgrl

February 28, 2000
7:08 pm
Avatar
glassgrl
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

OOPS, I see it now. Weird.

March 1, 2000
12:21 am
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Broc..see " Hazza?" for more.
Too tired right now to go on am going to read a good thriller.
On the same pafe? Just how deep was the shit?

Ha ha

j

ps after you read that don't sk if I want to deal with it yes but right now I'm to busy repressing.

March 1, 2000
7:55 pm
Avatar
BROC
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

janes,

hee hee. yes, we repress. But I don't think you will be there too long. YOU KNOW TO MUCH.

smiles!

b-

March 2, 2000
7:32 am
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ahhhhperhaps I do KNOW TOO MUCH. Can get to be a case of physician heal thyself, eh. Knowing this much may just be a case of being old.

Another grey day here in the north...but it's not too bad. Do need to stare at the sun for awhile. this time of year in this region we are all SAD..Seasonal Affective disorder.

The road to selfdom can be so long sometimes. and like Hazza it's so easy to feel like a fraud. but life goes on. Although there are days when it seems to go on and on and on and on. When I can scrape together the nickels my mext purchase will be that Beattie book about working the twelve steps...I keep reading parts of it at the clin psych's office and I like it. (I also keep "borrowing" books from the clin psych...and keeping them)
We're (I'm ) taking my 13 year old for some help as she cam up real high on family discord and depression scales.

I just want to skip with her what we went through with my twenty year old 3 years of alcohal dependence, tattos's, running away, taking off, becoming gay, and etc. etc. etc. what a trip that was. I have one son we have not had to the clin psych for eval and think mabe we should do it with him too before I find out about the problems that HAVE to be there.

And how are you today?

March 2, 2000
2:23 pm
Avatar
BROC
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Today is great. I am in the Southwestern United States. Sunny, warm, very nice.

As I have said a few times, my life is wonderful. It has its normal hiccups, but as far as the codependent bs, chaos, it is gone. I know the codependency will always be there, but it is in check now. It took a year + to get it there. I still go to therpay once a week, a relationship instructional/coda group once a week, and a coda group meeting once a week. In addition, I read, and continaully analize my actions.

Its amazing. Most that come here only stay for awile, then leave. Maybe its not so amazing. I know one lady I met here a year ago. Very wise like yourself. She did real good for about 9-10 months, then went back to her sick ex. I called her on this, as she had me. She stopped writing. You can guess why. Denial. I am scared of ever doing that myself. That is why I have so many things to keep me in check. I don't want to get off my path.

Hopefully those that are here will learn....once and for all.

This stuff is so simple its almost confusing. Make sense? Its not rocket science. 99% of us came from dysfucntinal homes. 99% need recovery. The 1% are in denial. hee hee ALl you have to do is take a break. Lock yourself in a room, go through the withdrawls of having to have a mate in your life, find yourself and get happy with him/her, learn, and then start life over with a new outlook.

If you don't, your life will be EXACTLY LIKE IT IS TODAY, AND AS TIME GOES ON, IT WILL GET MUCH WORSE.

IT WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER GET BETTER.

Why? That answer is even simplier. If you don't make changes to you, what will change your life for the better. Think of it like this. If your car runs like shit, you take it in to get fixed. The guy says you need a tuneup for your care to run better, (ie DIFFERENTLY than it did before) get my drift. IF you ignore the signs (runs like shit), and don't get it fixed, it will never get any better than the current way of running shitty, and as time goes on, it will get worse until it dies.

Damn! Thats a great analogy! ;0)

But still, folks just don't get it. They think they know what the answer is. Its the guy, or girl I'm with. The car I drive, my boss, my friends, yadda yadda yadda.

It is you folks. Get some counseling to figure out whats in you! You find that, and fix THAT whatever, and your life will change like you never thought possible. Stay like you are, and your life will stay like it is!

B-

March 2, 2000
6:17 pm
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

B-Very Very good...Yup getting to work i the key. not having a pity party and just doing it.

thx.

March 2, 2000
7:20 pm
Avatar
knb
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I like to do it!

March 7, 2000
9:31 pm
Avatar
janes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I got that impression knb..

so tings are okay but I have been practicing leaving work at work the last two days.

The loonies are loonies this week. six year olds with so much anger that they are punching. 10 year olds so manipulative that they make your teeth grind.

whew....dontcha love it.
j-

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
28
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110922
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714207
Newest Members:
Corties, patrickstayes, kevinkovalsky, izzy39, RoyFollman, kevin021
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer