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Friendma calling out for help
November 7, 2006
8:50 pm
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Friendma
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I don't know what to talk about.... I'm sorry I involved ya'll. I'm just a mess and ........................

November 7, 2006
8:54 pm
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Friendma
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I am not cutting right now, I promise. I have been hurting all my life and I have good days and not so good days. There is just so much pain in my life, inside of me. Am I making any sense

November 7, 2006
8:55 pm
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mamacinnamon
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and nothin Friendma. That is what we are here for is to help. Please do talk. If the urge to cut becomes to strong then do something w/ your hands.... get a piece of yarn and keep tieing knots in it or rolling it up; get a piece of paper and start tearing off small pieces and keep tearing, but Don't cut.

November 7, 2006
8:57 pm
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mamacinnamon
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making perfect sense... keep talking.

November 7, 2006
9:00 pm
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Friendma
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Thanks, Mama. I appreciate you responding. I'm a mess......I am hurting. I am angry, I am overwhelmed

November 7, 2006
9:02 pm
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Friendma
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I get overwhelmed with every thing. I am such a failure and I am jusst hurrting terribly and I don't know how to cope and so I feel the need to go back to cutting which is what I know anda trust....

November 7, 2006
9:04 pm
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mamacinnamon
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I am sorry, but I don't know your story. Can you tell me where to read or maybe give it to me in short form. i don't want you to if it will hurt to much.

Please don't cut. There is so much that can go wrong and that later you will regret. What other outlets can you think of?? let's work on a few.

November 7, 2006
9:10 pm
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Friendma
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I have been abused in about every way you can possibly imagine. The abuse started when I was a kid and has continued through adult hood. Physical, Emotional, Sexual, etc.... It would take me too long to give all the details. Just a mess, my whole life has been a mess. I'm a mess...Thank you for listening, I appreciate it.

November 7, 2006
9:10 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Friendma.... still w/ me???

Let's talk honey. NO CUTTING

November 7, 2006
9:15 pm
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mamacinnamon
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That was good enough detail. I've w/ ya now. So, tell me what is making you a mess tonight. Leaving the past behind and looking at today, what is hurting you tonight??

November 7, 2006
9:16 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Holding you Friend

November 7, 2006
9:16 pm
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Friendma
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Mich, it's ggood to hear from you and I appreciate you holding me, it means alot to me

November 7, 2006
9:19 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I told you that I care Friend...I promise...I know your pain...though our pasts may be different...I do know your pain...TRUST ME.

November 7, 2006
9:20 pm
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Friendma
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There are so many issues that I haven't dealt with and they creep up on me like today. I had a pretty ok day yesterday and then today, well, 360 degree turn. I am so deppressed and feeling hopeless, as the night goes on it ggets worse.

November 7, 2006
9:25 pm
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mamacinnamon
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I don't know why but it seems as the night comes on and the darkness falls then depression and anxiety set in. They tend to get worse as the night goes until we finally retire to sleep.

Do you have anyone there w you? I know bf went to his daughter's game. Is it just the 3 of you?

One thing I do when the lonely or the desperation tries to come in is to turn on the radio and sing along. Sounds lame, but I'm not alone then and can keep my mind off things that hurt. I like to do quilting. I clean when I get upset. Oh, here's one.. stupid mindless internet games. That will take your mind off coz you have to focus. Gem Jam is great for that.

What can you think to do??

November 7, 2006
9:36 pm
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elizabeth anne
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Friendma

Can I please try to understand why someone wants to cut themselves? What kind of satisfaction comes from that? Is it a punishment you feel you deserve???

I have a friend that wants to do the same thing... I just so want to understand her... I just want to hug her and say please... there really is another alternative... I feel her pain, yet I know she wants so badly to harm herself because she knows deep in her heart she is trying to punish her self for things that were not her fault... Will she get better?

November 7, 2006
9:41 pm
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Friendma
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I have two children but they live with their Dad. Long story short, their dad was the better parent. I love my babies very much. Their best interest was to live with their dad and visit with me. We share joint custody. My kids come every other weekend. My boyfriend has 3 kids from a prior marriage. My boyfriend got home just recently but I can't talk to him, he tries but just doesn't understand. I have trust issues and we have some issues we are trying to work on and I just don't feel close to him at this time.

November 7, 2006
9:44 pm
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Friendma
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E. Anne, I cut to cope. There is a release, yes its kind of a punishment. It is definately a coping mechanism.

November 7, 2006
9:47 pm
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Friendma
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E. Anne, your friend is very capable of getting better but it will take time. Be patient with her and just know that if she knew how to do any different she would. Meds are a must, with counseling, support etc.

November 7, 2006
9:52 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Sorry friendma, my daughter called. Keep talking if you would. I'm still here.

November 7, 2006
9:56 pm
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needtoheal
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Friendma--

I have been holding you while I was gone... Just want you to know that I care,..

Listen to Mama.. and MIch..
and all of us here.. we care about you

and we are here trying to help..
to listen ,.. and for you to feel safe

November 7, 2006
10:00 pm
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Friendma
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You're alright Mama, those things happen. I appreciate you listening and responding to me and my mess.

November 7, 2006
10:05 pm
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Friendma
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Need, I appreciate you and your kind words.

November 7, 2006
10:07 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Would you like to talk more? I can stay if you'd like. or if you are tired rest. But please please DON"T CUT

November 7, 2006
10:13 pm
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Friendma
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Mama, I'm gonna try to rest..I appreciate all that you have done here tonight. You are a special lady and God Bless You. I will do my best not to cutt. I'll check back in tomorrow. Good Night

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