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friend problem
July 25, 2005
6:13 am
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coodles
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since i have left college about 2 months ago two of my mates have become really close and always hang around together. One of them used to be really good mates to me and now she has hardly made contact with me. when they do ask me to go out places with them they act really strange and hardly talk to you.
I dont know if i should just let them get on with it and wait for them to contact me or still make the effort to keep in touch even though they make me feel awkward when i do go out with them.

My mum has told me not to let it get to me and just let them get on with it.
Any advice will be great.

July 25, 2005
1:39 pm
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LthrNlace
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I went through a similiar experience except I was/am one of the two friends that got closer. The other friend and I became closer due to our similiar career paths. We understand what each is struggling with and it brought us closer since college. The third friend kind of took a different path and went her own way with career and new friends. She is always willing to go out with us when we call her, but she stopped contacting us first. We arent too sure why, cuz when we are all together we have a good time and we dont "pair up" that I have noticed.

I still try to be friends with them all because I have lost too many friends due to growing apart. Often times life interferes and people grow apart with no real reason why it happens. I always figure that people come into your life for a reason, at precisely the time you need them. I had a great friend through high school and part of college, but then life interfered. Without her, I would not have survived HS, litteraly..I probably would have taken my own life eventually. But now that I have grow and have new people in my life, we grew apart for no real reason, but I will NEVER forget how she helped me.

Anyways, In my situation, I still tried contacting my current friend as often as time allows as long as she still seems interested to remain friends. Otherwise, sometimes depending on life, you have to let the friendship drift apart and know there is a reason for everything.

July 25, 2005
1:47 pm
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kathygy
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coodles, I would call the friend you used to be close to and have an open and honest conversation with her. Tell her how you feel and ask her why her behavior towards you has changed. It may be that she just grew apart from you but you don't really know. Closeness and intimacy is built on honest communication. After you talk to her you will know what to do about the friendship.

love,
kathy

September 7, 2005
6:40 pm
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SEGA
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ok i live in a dorm with 30 other girls but im like the one who everyone has to come to with problems, well these girls are best friends but they are fighting over a guy bc he said he like one and then asked the other one out, so i try to fix that, when they started to write each other threating notes during school i just dont know what to do with these girls, plus one is really hard headed and she a spoiled little rich girl who thinks that her daddy can buy her everything, the other is a girl who comes from a real high middle class family but is not so spoiled... i just dont know what to do please help..thanks SEGA

September 7, 2005
7:23 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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stay out of it - that's the best advice I can give you.

getting caught up in all the drama will detract you from your studies and in the end, may make enemies fast - if you know too much, it can put enormous pressure on you - trying to keep secrets, say things without hurting people, and it can affect your popularity if you say the wrong thing to the wrong person.

be true to YOURSELF and let them make their own mistakes and figure out how to fix them on their own.

be their friend - listen, but don't get involved.

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