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Fridaynight and I am alone too!
November 28, 2008
10:28 pm
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spunkycinnabar
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So if you have read my other posts you will see that once again I am left home alone while Mister wonderful hits the bar scene, of course he called me to talk, not mentioning he was going out until I said something. I said .. be good and he said why I am betteer when I am bad- well then just go and be bad- I dont care anymore. I have my work christmas party and I am just wondering if I should go and take him as my date ( if anyone reads this look at my previous posts What do you thinka dn viscious cycle) I dont even really want o go myself. I am so lonely and here I am having what was a nice day and my daughter and I hanging out and her comes the night, and I am feeling alone and sad that I am not in a loving relationship. That I wondering what my boyfriend of six years is doing and why he feels he needs to go and have cocktails asgain tonight and leave me sitting home- he knows that is what I am doing, he knows I am alone and that I worry- and he laughs, mocking laughs at me to make me feel insecure and he knows I am - I cant wait until this damn weekend is over, I am sooooooooooooo looking forward to my threaphy. I wish my termendous headache and pain would go anway- and I am so not spending any night with him nxt week, I am done, so done.

November 28, 2008
10:42 pm
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bblue
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Not that I am the perfect example but if he constantly leaves you to go partying tell him to go...

You are the place to stay after the party ... there are better guys.

BBlue

November 28, 2008
10:43 pm
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.
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I think you should let him go.It isnt fair to you. Besides he sounds like an ass. You are better then a booty call. Drop him. Trust me.

November 28, 2008
11:28 pm
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spunkycinnabar
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I wish I did not feel like I love him so much... I wont let myself cry tonight. Yet I sure am ready too- just wasting my life over this, what do I do?

November 28, 2008
11:34 pm
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It isnt love Spunky.

Love is something on the other side of the spectrum. Love is driving 2 hours just to tell the other person you love them. Love is taking the other person with you most of the time. Love is being able to hold that other person without having to have sex.

Love is not booty calls. You are worth far more then that. Why is it you dont think so?

November 28, 2008
11:43 pm
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spunkycinnabar
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Well my other posts state that moire clearly. I have spent 6 years trying to prove that I am worthy of his love, he says I am a nag for bothering him beofre he went out-for asking that he not dance with other girls... I know he cheated on his wife, I know he has probably cheated on me, all of his friends cheat- his father cheat with hookers for gods sake... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

November 28, 2008
11:50 pm
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sassielassie
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Please try to value your worth as a friend and partner.Is he capable of the same? Maybe you have to much to offer and need to evaluate if he's worth the pain?

November 28, 2008
11:57 pm
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mamacinnamon
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What is wrong w/ you? Low self-esteem, wanting to be loved, desire yet cannot go out on your own coz he may come by, codependent.......

I don't say these words to be mean. I have spent years watching my husband to out to his brother's to play pool, drink, "have fun" and my kids have their lives, and here I sit day after day. Know what? It sucks.

When I finally decided to stand up and get a life things started to change. He said "what do you mean you are goin out w/ Laura?" I simply said, "you told me to get a life". Funny how when YOU get a life then they want to be a part of it. Make sense?

November 28, 2008
11:58 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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Oh mama cinamon, that is a great story.

November 29, 2008
12:04 am
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fantas
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I'm sure he has cheated on you. The writing on so on the wall for this one. Keep posting and reading, I know you will gain the strength to leave him and stay gone. For one, why not just get a new phone number so you can't contact each other. Like Ma said, you need absolute no contact with this man. To be honest, that will hurt like hell, but it passes.

You have given your power to this man and he is manipulating you like a puppet and having his fun while doing it. Have you looked at the thread about narcissists? You might see your boyfriend in those characteristics. The one thing about them is that they have no capacity for sympathy or empathy and they can't acquire it.

Hang in there. Many of us totally understand what you are going through because we have been there.

November 29, 2008
12:33 am
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mamacinnamon
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I didn't say no contact, but that is not a bad idea. But do understand that when you stop contact w/ him he WILL want to contact you. They don't like it when you stop playin the game. Sad thing is that he did not inform you that he was just playin a game. In my case, we live together so I have contact, but I tell ya, when you go about your day doin your things and just not pay him much attention, he sure does what to know what is wrong.

You CAN do this if you choose too. Have you read "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie? If you have not, I strongly urge you too. Your life will be the quality that you give it. You cannot depend on anyone else to do that, but on the same hand, you can let someone else take that quality away if you so choose to let them, or NOT.

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