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Fricking...Fracking "Holidays" are s l o w l y approaching
November 13, 2006
8:58 pm
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truthBtold
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...and I for one - just don't give a fucking rat's ass about my "elderly" parents......and will proclaim - NOT to feel guilty about their isolation...becuase they brought it upon their own selves to choose their own agenda over the rights and feelings of their daughters..whom were aboused by their OWN father!

There!!!

I've said it...

Let the record show......

November 13, 2006
9:40 pm
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lovetocrochet
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Yeah, I'm feeling a bit on the Scrooge-ish side myself about now... though really nothing new the past few years.

I haven't spent a holiday season with my bio-family in five years. We had a falling out a few months later and haven't spoken since. My brother said that same year after he wished me a happy birthday by email that he was going to see them with his family Christmas Eve and if I wanted to tell them anything he'd relay it for me. Nice way of letting me know I wasn't invited.

As far as I'm concerned he can have them. He's their special golden child and their son is the favorite grandchild. What angers me most is that they punished my daughter simply for being my daughter - they didn't ask to see her for the holidays that year and they didn't even buy her gifts. They act like the perfect grandparents now that she lives with her Dad and they don't have to deal with me, but to treat her like that because of me is inexcusable.

I'm sorry the holidays are rough for you too. Vent away.

November 14, 2006
2:47 pm
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Devon
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Make your own holiday plans. They are YOUR holidays. You can choose to have YOUR holidays with ANYONE you wish.

For years I have spent Christmas wrapping gifts for homeless children and then partying in the evening with the rest of us who fly solo on that day.

Holiday Seasons are only obligations of your own creation. Even if you do not choose them, you have still made a choice.

Life is too short to trouble my mind over these things. And I had enough ruined holidays growing up with drunks and assholes. It is a privilege to enjoy a holiday with me...and I am picky about who I share it with!

One Christmas I made Santa yell Ho Ho Ho!!! And with an especially bright glow in his cheeks that year!

Hey...Lena Horne once said something about being 64 and how she felt that it was especially important to roll around in the grass at that age!

ha!

November 14, 2006
3:02 pm
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ggfred4
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Devon, that was wonderful...thanks...

November 14, 2006
3:41 pm
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bevdee
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Hi TruthB

I have trouble with the family holidays, too. I would rather spend it with someone else’s family, or doing something different.

Sometimes I volunteer to serve in the homeless shelters, but alot of times, I rent a mess of DVDs and stay in the house. Or I volunteer to work.

The best ones were when my nieces were little, and opening presents was just ecstasy for them. When they believed in Santa Claus, and I thought I might believe again, too!!

This year, I am going to go home for xmas, but have already told my family I will not give or accept gifts. I haven’t worked up the nerve to tell them I don’t believe in the holiday. I took the coward’s way out and said I am broke.

I want to see my granny - she is 87, and has this younger boyfriend- he’s 78. They give me hope.

Bevdee

November 14, 2006
3:42 pm
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lovetocrochet
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I wish I had the liberty to make my own plans, but my husband has his fam-damily and we therefore have to have obligatory gatherings with them. With how much my SIL and MIL get on my last nerve, I SO wish it wasn't that way.

November 14, 2006
4:58 pm
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OMG you guys now that my H and I no longer have our parents we have been having to HOST the holidays ourselves and it iw SO MUCH WORK!!!

I don't think I appreciated how easy it was to get on a plane and step off and be treated to a special few days as their "darlings". (THis works if you don't visit very often!)

NOW, our kids let US do it all!! I guess turnabout is fair play?

OMG I just started freaking out again ..........

we have this very very funny friend whose family alternates "hosting" Thanksgiving. She's a very busy woman who does not believe in wasting time, so last year the holiday was coming up WAY too fast and she had to work right before right up until....so she made the turkey dinner ahead of time....and she "layered" it in casserole pans. Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans, etc. Warmed them up, and put out serving spatulas!!!!

.......this WOULD be an answer to them wanting me to HOST the fricking holiday, wouldn't it?

November 14, 2006
5:37 pm
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bevdee
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How bout pot lucks?

November 14, 2006
7:28 pm
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Hey wait, bevdee, that sounds like a solution.

Come on, no fair, I just wanted to complain.

November 14, 2006
7:52 pm
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mj
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TruthBtold, gotta love your nickname! You get those feelings out and mend! I am right behind you.

I had to giggle at the fricking fracking Holidays! The only discussion so far at our house has been "Have you given any thought to what you want to do for Thanksgiving" my hubby's response "No". I agree... let the dysfunctional parents enjoy their day without my involvement. Now I have said it! It is written!

Thanks for sharing your truth!

November 14, 2006
7:56 pm
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bevdee
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Brynnie-

Go ahead and rant but - pass out a sign - up sheet!!

November 15, 2006
8:45 am
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lovetocrochet
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Make sure to pass the sheet my way so I can sign up twice.

November 15, 2006
1:35 pm
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truthBtold
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Thanks all. I feel better.

November 15, 2006
10:49 pm
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Devon
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TV dinners are good. A whole lot of people on the earth do not even get that for Christmas.

November 16, 2006
4:24 am
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trebaby
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what a great thread!

my parents are considering going away for the holidays. that sucks especially because i have just decided to leave my husband, the chef and the one that does all the cooking for my small immediate family so...

without my parents and not wanting to look at my husband's sad face through the break and especially not over dinner, where the hell am i supposed to eat the good home-cooked meal that thanksgiving is truly all about in this country?!!!

sure, there're are more meaningful places i could be (my church, at a shelter, with friends) but honestly, i'm exhausted. my emotional roller coaster of the last few months and my work and parenting my 4 year old has drained me.

like never before, i want to eat a lot, wearing pajamas, so i can immediately take a nap and get up only to do the exact same thing. and i want to do it at my parents so i don't have to talk and give lots of thanks or stay uncomfortably dressed through the seconds and thirds and dessert. and so i have someone else to watch my son while i try to re-energize. is that really too much to ask?!

wow! that felt good to be able to say in just that way!

November 16, 2006
5:13 pm
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Yes, I want to have someone ELSE do all the work so I can say "thank you"!!

Funny ranting thread!

We'll get this together yet, kids....maybe there's a middle-of-the-road solution here somewhere. (Although leftovers in jammies does sound good!)

We had to drive on Thanksgiving Day one year and had to stop at a restaurant ourselves. We'd had the big meal a day earlier due to the schedule, so we weren't "deprived".

But the people in the restaurant were some sad-looking people: the waitresses and folks who didn't get the holiday off, the truck drivers and odd businessman who had to eat this meal alone.

I am truly truly grateful that I have annoying relatives who CARE about the stupid dressing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie, etc.

Lemme try that again: I am thankful for the good things and the good people in my life.

OK.......next....

November 16, 2006
5:17 pm
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smarterone
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Holidays are special when we are kids. No responsibilities, although i did watch a couple of my crazy family members beat up on eachother. The whole meaning is gone. Its all a money game. What do you want, what are you getting me, decorations, blah, hey immnot scrooge, but the cost of living doesnt allow for us to buy gifts, and pay our bills. So, i guess, we must learn the tru meaning of peace and joy all over the world. Give thanks for what we do have and the freedom we have. Give thanks for the strength to get by each day and have eachother to bitch to.

November 16, 2006
5:29 pm
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Oh smarterone, you gotta love those memories...:)

Last 4th of July I felt it was important for the kids' sake to show some caring and we were so broke I had to charge the groceries, but we had a BBQ and I think it meant alot to everyone to stop and take the time to be together (no one fought!).

It's going to be a challenge to hold the spirit of Christmas without spending this year. I have to talk long and hard to get my H not to run up a CC a few days before because he wants it to be "special" and that's synonomous with $$$$$ for him.

My sister suggests we all give a gift to charity in each other's names this year instead. Left me cold.

November 17, 2006
12:32 am
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armyleo
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Brynnie,

I was going to write something negative because that is how I am feeling right now,

Then saw your post, and it just made me cry...You are always so postive.

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