Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Freedom to be yourself...
October 7, 2008
11:34 am
Avatar
laser
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Im new to this site
I have read quite a few of the threads and find them interesting.Infact alot of them remind me of myself.
I have had a girlfriend the last 2 and a half years ,I really loved this woman and cared for her she -I think-was too scared for commitment,and couldnt return the feelings.It was trying to get someone to love you who was running away.I had lunch with her last thursday and felt there is no more point in pursuing this.
I realise alot of what I am now recognising as codependent behaviour stems from my childhood...being trained to look after other peoples needs to such an extent that you do not know what you want.Its been a slow process to try to understand that I am entitled to a life of my own and I dont have to live to please others.Not that I want to be be selfish either.I am quite a feeling kind of person but struggle to enjoy myself.
It was about a year ago a counsellor pointed out that I was codependent,and that I needed to break an unhealthy tie with my mum and sister.It has been a huge battle as they have completly misjudged me and dont understand me.But I think alot of this self denial is learned and goes back to the early years,and because of that I have formed unhealthy relationships.Are there any other resourses other than codependent no more which I read a while back?I have never been envolved with drugs and very occsionally drink it has been though a relationship addiction and there seem to be so few resourses and people that understand this....does this make any sense?

October 7, 2008
12:26 pm
Avatar
distressed
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Laser, I understand! I am in an addictive relationship now. My therapist told me to read 'codependent no more' as well. I know of no other resources. Just hang in there. I have started paying attention to my codependent habits and it seems to help and I feel like I hav e more control of my emotions. Good luck!

October 7, 2008
3:39 pm
Avatar
Giggles_29
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((((Laser)))) ~ Welcome to the site! I can recommend a really great book called, "Love is a Choice~ Breaking the cycle of Addictive Relationships" by Robert Hemfelt, Paul Minirth, Paul Meier. I also recommend getting the workbook that goes along with it. This was the very first book I read on codependency. This was the book that opened my eyes to codependency and it was amazing! Great book, great read!

October 8, 2008
5:25 am
Avatar
laser
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi there
I have read most of love is a choice,its not an easy book to read but is helpful.I didnt know that there was a bork book that went with it though.Are there any other books.Codependent no more tends to focus on those that have alcohol or drug problems,which I cannot relate to.I have been trying to break the unhealthy tie with my family (with Gods help)for over a year now and feel very different but am aware that I still have a ways to go.So I am looking for resourses,where people have walked through it.If you have any other info it would be greatly appreciated.

October 10, 2008
12:52 pm
Avatar
Fruitloop
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Laser,

My therapist had me read Love is a Choice and do the workbook, all while going to weekly sessions. It was the only way I could understand what she was saying. I dont have any chemical dependencies either but I found that book very helpful. Of course I did have a professional leading me through it. Maybe thats something you could try. Also, you could look for meetings in your area. A lot of churchs have them. Look up Celebrate Recovery on the internet, thats usually where they are given. You may want to try reading 'Boundaries' also, big.big help to me. I wish you well, it is a long journey to healing but one worth taking.

October 10, 2008
1:03 pm
Avatar
Giggles_29
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 6
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((Laser))))~ The other book I got that is very helpful is: The codependents guide to the 12 Steps by Melody Beattie. Great book !!!!

How are you doing today?????

October 21, 2008
7:48 am
Avatar
laser
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sorry about the delay in replying.I will have to get the book the codependents guide to the 12 steps ,sounds interesting.Sometimes I feel a very deep pain in my heart that I feel I am being ripped apart,but I realise that identifying the pain and working through it are part of the healing process.

October 24, 2008
5:51 am
Avatar
CHEUPE
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh! Yah! sometime people are not care about what Your felling inside your heart. I was just tells myself that:-
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. i can choose which it shall be. yestarday is dead,tomorrow hasnt arrived yet. i have jus one day, today and i'm going to be happ in it.

with you too tell ur heart when u weak-up.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
29
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110978
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714262
Newest Members:
brianwolfe, swright, nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information