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Freedom calling...
March 14, 2008
9:12 pm
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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This is the first time I've been on, looked up the word codependent in wikipedidia and it explains well, a lot. I was wondering, hoping anyone of you feel the same way... I've been reading A New Earth and then picked up Codependent No More and I knew instantly it was a part of me. Please lead the way to a life free of obsessive thoughts, controlling bahaviour, poor choices in men... No wonder my life is falling apart!!!!!!!! My eyes are open, can anyone tell me how to do this? Have I always been like this?????????? Does eveyone know but me??????????

Sorry for being so intense, just looking for support. Lost my job last week & ended up nursing a bottle of wine, at a so-called 20 year long time friend's older brother's apartment, he tried to ease me up with wine but I caught on, sober enough to call a friend. He drives me there , I ask him if he wants to come in, he comes to the bar and I'm so DRUNK and then proceed to insist on driving me home AFTER I told himI could stay at my girlfriends and then "do you want any company?" texts sent at like 4 a.m. SO, I realize I left my GUITAR is in car. Today after a week, I contacted him. He was so mean, told me I was a bitch, nobody he knows likes me, he didnt want a girlfriend. Can you believe that in the past I have awoke SOBER after something like this and then I hang out with this needy person until my life gets back on track... SOS.

CODEPENDENT NO MORE

I may need therapy. Thanks for reading.

March 15, 2008
9:56 am
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goinghome
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Peace&Love, admitting that you are codep is the first step. Continue to read your book and work your steps. You may need help with the drinking too. We never change what we are we can only change what we do.

March 15, 2008
10:09 am
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AQueen
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Reading the book was the first step for me. It changed my life by really identifying what was wrong with me for so long. Then I started attending counseling and support groups. I feel that both are needed in order to recover because we cannot heal ourselves. We need professional input. My life is great now. I love life. I'm happy. I'm no longer clinging to people for my happiness. I'm not trying to fix people either, amazing. Get to a CODA meeting, that stands for Codependents Anonymous. It's a great great great support group and if you seriously want to end this toxic behavior and find real happiness start attending and keep reading that book. Oh and call and set an appointment with a therapist or two. I remember when I was was where you are, just picking up the book for the first time. It's amazing. See I used to play the victim all the time and act like I was just a mark for predators. I didn't learn to take responsiability for my own happiness until I read the book.

See I learned to be codependent by growing up in a home with a codependent mother and a alcoholic father. She enabled, rescued, anticipated his needs, made excuses, tried to control his drinking, all the classic codie things we do. I never learned how to have healthy boundaries, boundaries that are essential in life. A relationship without boundaries isn't a relationship it's emeshement which is toxic. Once I learned to set boundaries and practiced sticking to them it became easier. I finally took my power back instead of giving it away like I had always done! Good luck and welcome.

AQueen

March 24, 2008
12:37 pm
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Anonymous
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Going home and AQueen, Thank you so much! I went to a CODA meeting last week and I've been reading the book. It really helps to hear your stories too. Thanks for sharing them. Hope you're enjoying the day.

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