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Free!
August 14, 2003
12:20 am
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Hope this caught the attention of more than just one person...

There are things like victim's reparations funds. I don't know if I've mentioned this before or not. There is a LOT of funding out there, and you don't have to move into a shelter to access its resources.

Damn that guideline about exchanging email addresses. There is so much I would love to tell you about, resources and such, but if your ex-monster is lurking around in here, then anything I say can and may be used against you.

I imagine that, as resourceful as you are, you've checked things out pretty thoroughly. I agree with you decision to keep your life and the lives of your children as consistent as possible. However, if any attorney is trying to say that family violence is a separate issue from visitation, well that's just bullshit. The only thing is that a therapist would probably have to report that visitation is not in the best interest of the children. Many shelters have OUTSTANDING counseling services for children, and they can benefit greatly from this kind of service.

Also, please know that there are a lot of ways to help you be safe--ways that can't be traced--that are funded and supported by shelters where they will not tell even the police diddly-shit. I was privileged to work in one of the best shelters, I believe, in this nation.

Do whatever you have to do to ensure the absolute safety of yourself and your children. No holds barred.

Love,

Arwen

August 14, 2003
2:08 pm
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If you decide to tell your story, discuss details of your testimony, I would feel honored if you felt safe to do so in this thread.

Love,

Arwen

August 14, 2003
2:33 pm
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Also guys...if there is something that needs to go via email to someone, you could submit your request to SC and see what happens. Sometimes things just can't be said on here for different reasons, like giving out a phone number or whatever - regarding a shelter, etc. Some things you don't want to write here, so just thought I'd offer this to you.

August 14, 2003
2:39 pm
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Ladeska is right, I know for example I currently correspond daily with slv via our personal emails, and once in a while mj and I catch up as well. The way we connected was that both people would email sc and request that their email be given to the other. Kind of saying, whatever happens, we are aware of the risks but could you please connect us? I am glad every day for the support and friendship that I reap as a result of that.

sc, if you're reading, thanks again! 🙂

August 14, 2003
2:40 pm
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Arwen.........aren't there what they call "underground" groups that take care of women and children when basically the system lets them down? I used to have a phone number to one of these places and I believe it was located in Canada if I'm not mistaken.... I got the number by calling a hotline one time and this counselor and I just really hit it off. I was trying to get some help for a lady in Louisiana and she just offered this number to me and said - they are very guarded and will make whoever jump through a few hoops but basically they really have to cut ties and just relocate altogether, if their situation is that dire and help is not forthcoming from the powers that be.

August 14, 2003
2:48 pm
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Thank you Arwen

Domestic Violence and his rights to visition as the biological father are separate issues according to law.

We did have a psychological evaluation, if that's you wanna call it. It was court-ordered. This PHD saw the kids and I for about an hour and a half and then spoke to my ex monster on the phone. On the phone, Arwen. Then he charges us each 400 bucks and submitted a report that everything is honky dory. He told my attorney that there's no doubt my ex monster is guilty of stalking me, but he doesn't think he's a threat to the kids. It was a racket, Arwen. This PHD never spoke to any collateral contacts I had put down- their teachers, therapist,adults who have been in their lives for many years and know the danger to them and to me. And I cannot request a different psychological evaluation.

If my ex monster is convicted, then I will qualify for victim-witness funds, 2 years of lost child support and reimbursement for time off work. I don't get anything for counseling or for my restraining orders, or anything else for that matter because I did not take my kids into a shelter and access THEIR resources. I kept my kids at the home they've been in all their lives, where there are loving and protective neighbors of both them and myself.

I make too much money to qualify for much of anything. I did access child support services and that's just another nightmare.

My life and that of my kids was on the line. Our beaurocratic system gets people killed. I liquidated nearly all of my retirement assets to hire a good attorney and since I'm just about out of money, he is taking payments and that's cool with me. It was because of HIM that I even got restraining orders- the last time I was in court without an attorney the judge told me "look at you, you look awful, get some sleep" and I respond with "we need help!" and he says "you need a doctor, get on some kind of medication or something" It was a nightmare Arwen. I submitted everything I could think of but I don't think he ever took the time to read it. It was my attorney who broke everything out in the open. Not me, and not anybody that works "for the system, for the public". they all pushed me aside. Even the family law facilitator- tells me to write a letter to the judge, so I did, to find out later that this is a common tactic to make people without attorney's just go away.I didn't have enough money to access legal aid, and I make too much money to not have to come up with the amount they wanted.

In short Arwen, at the risk of sounding offensive (which i would never want to do to such a beautiful woman as yourself) the system can go Fuck Off. These people are blood sucking leeches who feed of of desperate victims too poor to hire adequate representation.

Because I had about 10 grand to spend, my ex husband if finally being held maybe not accountable for, but is being held to answer for his actions. And I have an order that keeps him away from my home and street- now this is WAY COOL kuz he used to hang out with a friend a few houses down and watch the house and just raise hell. Well he can't do that anymore. And everytime, I mean EVERYTIME he picked the kids up or dropped them off for visitation, he'd do crap. Well now he has to send a taxi. This is too cool. My attorney is protecting me, fighting for me, and my kids. The system put us in greater danger as they enabled a violent perpetrator to continue. I've been fucked by the system- I ain't gonna killed by it, not without fighting.

The last time I called 911 was at a store and I was told by the operator that restraining orders don't apply in public places. I tell her no- this one does, and why. She still wants to argue with me and I insist she send a car. So the cops finally show up. Find my ex. And I'm like "what do these people think this is Mr. Rogers neighborhood or something?" and I hang up with the operator and call the cell # of the criminal investigator, and all of a sudden- boom! The DA herself is on the phone with my police department and all of a sudden, things are serious.

I went to a support group the other day at the women's shelter. It was really good for me- I really like the group facilitator and I think I can learn alot from her and gain strength. I fell apart. I do this sometimes, Arwen- I don't know where it comes from, or why. All of a sudden everything just floods- I'll be talking - I do this in court sometimes- and I just FLOOD with intense emotion and cry so hard it's hard to talk and usually vomit later. What is this about. Do you know?

free

August 14, 2003
3:20 pm
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Free you have guts and courage and I am so sorry you have had to go through all of this and are still going through it. I can imagine you will never really feel totaly free.

I pray your husband gets sent away for a long long time. I wonder why people act the way they do you know?
Also your children IM sure have suffered damage through all of this process, its good they have a mother like you fighting for their saftey and freedom. Did you see the movie braveheart? You need Wallace in your life to fight for you......:-))

I was stalked for almost two years from a former boyfriend so I know how that feels and it was not pretty. It was scary, he would call me, leave notes on my car and wait for me after work or just sit and watch me. The only way I got away from him was by moving out of state and now I dont see him or hear from him.

So many people suffer at the hands of others and its not fair.

August 14, 2003
3:44 pm
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Why do people act like this?

Because we take away what they want the most from us.

Control.

August 14, 2003
5:27 pm
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thanks bel. And you're oh so right, Zinnie.

I've considered moving bel and it's always on my mind. I'd most likely be hired on anywhere I went because of what I do. But......

There is just so much to consider. I've been looking at getting out of the continental U.S. Could definitely handle Hawaii or the Virgin Islands. A part of me says go. And a part of me says make a stand.

I dunno.

free

August 14, 2003
5:54 pm
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Well, Free-Honey, regarding the flood of emotion and vomiting, I would probably say that it's due to "body memory", repressed memory, and having to live for so long under so much stress that it's gotta come out somehow. For you, it's tears and vomiting. I'm so regretful that I'm not there, to sit by you, look you in the eye, put my arm around your shoulder, and tell you that you are a walking, talking, inspirational MIRACLE! I would gladly hold your hair back, and clean up any messes if I could...

Yes, there are underground railroads, resources. Some are good, some are so-so, some suck. It's the luck of the draw--where you live, who you know, whether or not you get a live body looking for a paycheck on the other end of the phone line, or someone who is dedicated heart and soul to helping people be--Free.

I have done a mental version of a Safety/Risk Awareness Assessment on you, Free. You're situation is about as high risk as they come. I know you're tired. I know you want to rest, but please don't let your guard down unless he is behind bars. This is the most dangerous time for you and your children.

There are shelters that can pay to put you in a safe house, or that have safe houses. I'm not saying I think this is best. I believe that you know the "monster" better than anyone, and you are the one with the most information who can make the most accurate assessment of your safety. But stay focused. Stay objective. Don't be letting ego step up and weigh in heavy with an "I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna let that SOB drive me out of my home!" Ego is okay, but not at the risk of your safety, Free. You know him and his ways better than any counselor, shelter manager, advocate, attorney, 911 operator, cop, or person who visits this site.

Free, if you want my email address, the SC has it. Refer her to this thread. She has my permission to give it to you. Tell me somewhere if you're going to use it or your message will get dumped into my junk mail folder, and I just empty that, never open it.

There are some things I can do for you from here, through this shelter, that might be helpful regarding your upcoming hearing.

Think about it. But if your gut is telling you that this kind of contact with me is not safe, then you listen to that. There are forces in this world that can see a much bigger picture than you or I can. My intervention might not be what's best for you at this time.

Love,

Arwen

August 14, 2003
6:38 pm
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Thank you, Arwen.

I'm going to ask the SC for your e-mail address. I want to know what it is that you can do for me, but I don't want it done - I don't want intervention unless I ask for it. When somebody intervenes I get freaked out and they become my enemy. Ya know? I'm not too afraid of being "found out" or anything- I sent a couple e-mails with my name, address, and a brief about my situation all over the country awhile back, under all kinds of links for dv and "when batterers kill." So it's not like people in law enforcement and at shelters all over the place haven't heard about my situation.

It's just that- I wanna be the one asking the questions. I wanna be the one to make decisions regarding my safety and that of my kids. I just don't trust ANYBODY in that area, but me. Now ain't that a scary thought...

I know my situation is very dangerous Arwen. i thought it was bad when I left him- that was in 97, but since he's been arrested and charged with stalking- there's something going on I can't explain to anybody. It's so frustrating. I watched him intently in court at our last hearing- he files those things all the time- he wanted more visitation and lowered child support. he wanted me found in contempt. None of it happened, which was good for me. His body language, things he said on the stand with his pastor and fiance in the room, the way he interrupted me and yelled when I was speaking, the way he turned to my attorney and shook his hand after the hearing and said "thanks John, this was a learning experience"- and then recently we were at Blockbuster and he walks in and I see him and he sees me across the store and I had the kids and he walks up to my oldest and says something, then walks out and leaves- turns out he said to her "is your mother here?" and she said "yes", and he said "oh, okay", and left. I didn't call the police and report- he did what he was supposed to do- he left. But this is weird.

He's fucking losing it.

The judge did say last December "I don't think he's going to hurt her, he would have done that already. He wants to control her." I hold on to that. My ex monster's trial is in November. That's when I'll be testifying, and that's when we will all be in the worst danger- including anybody who is helping me. Keep that in mind, okay?

free

August 15, 2003
3:31 pm
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This is a letter that I wrote to a detective and it has become evidence. I wanted to post it so that everyone can respond with questions kuz I'm trying to prepare myself for testifying.

*******************************

Dear Detective

I need to let you know that I feel like I did really bad in the interview the other day and that I probably didn't help you. I really do want to help you. I left things out and mixed things up. I got so upset when I was trying to answer your questions about Monday morning because I knew I was screwing it all up and you were so sincere in telling me that it was okay, that I want to do what both (advocate-name deleted) and my therapist suggested: write a letter to you and tell you I need to clarify some things. My therapist said to write a 100 page script of the past 10 years of my life about everything (ex-monster-name deleted) done and then narrow it down. I thought that was funny but he might have been serious. That's just not realistic time wise, but I do want to answer all your questions as best I can.

When the police officer came back to the house with an EPO, he asked to speak to my oldest daughter K because she had called (monster) and said something to him but that he couldn't tell me what. Neither my fiance nor myself knew she had called him. She did not want to cooperate at that time so I wouldn't be surprised if she told the officer that she never called monster. She did. I talked to her about it Wednesday evening, when I explained to the kids what happened at court and why. She said that she had seen the silver bullets in my room. She said she saw them when she was looking for her nail polish. Her sister had a lot of her nail polish and makeup out in my bathroom (they fight over this stuff incessantly) so she was looking through my room to see if her sister had hidden any of hers in my room. Then she overheard me talking to my attorney in my room later in the evening. I guess my voice was raised because my attorney got wound up and that got me wound up and I thought he was being hostile so I got hostile back. Then my attorney called me back a little later and she saw me go back into my room with the phone and when I came out she asked if I was okay and I said yes. I told my fiance that I had to go to Wal Mart to get something for (attorney- A) and asked him to watch the kids. K wanted to go but I said no. When I got back she was still up so I asked fiance into the garage and told him about the bullets and that we had to take pictures and make a police report. She told me that she took the phone into her room to call when fiance and I were in the garage. She told me was just scared because monster had told her that court was Tuesday (I didn't know she knew that), I was acting weird, she heard me yelling on the phone in my room about the police, guns, bullets, and heard me use the f-word. She said that she just called him to ask what was up. She told him that she saw silver bullets in my room, that fiance and I were taking pictures of them, and that the police were coming. (I am so sorry I didn't tell you this- I remember you asking me more than once about this- I just couldn't go to the "bullet arena" at that point). She said that monster asked her where her brother's - B bullet casings were. K told him I had thrown them away. B paints and colors them red because he thinks it's neat to have them look like there is blood on them. When he first brought these home, I thought monster had done that until K told me that B was collecting them at the shooting range, painting or coloring them at monster's and here at home. I have found them in his room. K says he hides them because he knows I will throw them out. She says he has a collection of many bullets at monster's. K told me that monster asked if I had any "half inch" bullet casings because some of his were missing. She told him she didn't know. I asked her what a "half inch" bullet casing is and she doesn't know. Neither do finance and I so I'm not sure what this is all about. Monster told her not to worry about anything because God was on their side. My kids are usually very open with me-they tell me often times more than I'd like to know. K is not being straight with me about this phone call. I can tell. She said she wishes she never called him.

Monday morning. Fiance left at 6:30 just as I was curling my hair almost ready to go to work. I had a lot to do and wanted to leave a little early. Fiance left. B's backpack was on the counter ready to drop off at daycare. K's lunch money on the counter. I thought I heard monster's car. I went to look out B's window because my neighbor's truck sounds a little like the monster's car. It was the monster's car. I ran to my room to look at my clock. It said 6:41. That's not normal. I scooted back to B's room. All the kids got were getting out of the car and coming up towards the garage. Monster got out. Sometimes he gets the kids' stuff out of the back of the car, but he didn't stop at the back, he went to my mailbox. I did see something white in his hands but not flat like a normal letter, his hand was fisted. I figured he was putting a note in my mailbox that had been rolled-he sent a note once with scripture on it that was rolled up with a ribbon tie. He sent that home with the kids and a rose last year. The kids and I met in the hall and I asked them what was going on. Child C needed me to sign her reading log, B said they came in to give me a hug and kiss and to get his backpack. They said that monster was taking them and left. K stayed as usual and said that they were there early because he had to return a Kayak. I do remember seeing a kayak on top of the car.

Monster was wearing a burgundy long sleeved pressed shirt with white buttons and black slacks. I know I said they were tan or beige or something. Sometimes he wears a black leather jacket but he didn't have it on that morning. I'm sure he probably had a belt on but I didn't notice. He probably had his black dress shoes on but I didn't notice.

This day was hectic and overwhelming. I'm not exactly sure when I did many things that I did. I stuck the mailbox thing in my purse and went to work. I HAD to be focused for my 1st and 2nd period class. Third period is my prep: 9:35-10:22. Lunch is from 11:14-11:55. During these two time frames I went to the bank to get a copy of a bank statement for my attorney and faxed it to him. I e-mailed a document that was on a disk at work to my friend Leigh Ann, modified substitute teacher plans for the next day, made an overhead, put problems on the chalk board, made a key for them, copied worksheets, and wrote a scholarship recommendation that I had forgotten about. Somewhere in here I looked in this envelope three times, once to see what was in there, once to see if that was all that was in there, and once to be sure that was I saw was in there. There's a draw to look and draw to not look. I think at the end of my prep and twice during lunch. Every time I try to order all this, I order it differently. On Monday October 21st, I was trying to manage my own kids' needs, my job requirements, my attorney's requests, my anxiety, and it was just hectic. And then my attorney called that evening.

I recall you stating that you had reports of police calls for 3 or 4 occasions. There are more. I thought of eight within a few minutes. Where are these records? My ex-husband took my journals when we separated. It was all in there. I'm going to try to put it together over the next few days with the help of my friends.

It's my understanding that there may be another interview. I really do want to help you - I'm starting to like this idea that I may not have to try to manage my ex on my own, but I need you to help me do that because I don't know how to let you help me on my own. This is new. And really scary. I don't do scary very well. You told me in this interview that there are things on the outside that I cannot see because I'm in it. That makes a lot of sense. You, my advocate, my therapist, my attorney see and know something I can't yet see or know. I want and need to. It's very important to me that when all this is a thing of the past, that I have done the very best I could and not managed to screw things up (that I'm good at). Detective , that means I will have to trust you, and that's going to be a challenge for me in the period of time that seems to be available. And that's not because of you.

I want my box back. I don't like the idea of things not being in it that need to be in it. I'm going to try to get that check you asked for. The number of that check should be on a bank statement from that time period, and then I should be able to get a copy of that check from that bank. I've changed banks from VFCU to Wells Fargo and back to VFCU. I kept having to disclose bank account #'s on that "assets list thing" in a divorce proceeding and he knows my social security number so he accessed the automated teller and gave me a hard time about how I was spending my money. That check was written in November or December of 1997. Please let me know If I'm wasting my time trying to get a copy.

I told a friend of mine about your question regarding how monster would make my death look like a suicide. She thinks I need to tell you what was going on and what was said even though monster never described how he would do tit At the time of these threats I was dealing with rape and was taking Zoloft, Xanax, and a sleeping pill that starts with a T (Tazanam?). These medications were prescribed by a psychiatrist. I was seeing this one therapist at first. That didn't work because I was able to manipulate the therapy sessions and I needed a therapist who wouldn't let me do that. Beginning survivors don't know to not do it and it's very frustrating to pay money, invest time, and get nowhere. Anyhow, monster told many times that I was under the care of a psychiatrist, being treated for depression, and if somebody found me in bed with a hole in my head, they'd conclude I'd committed suicide. That's that.

August 15, 2003
6:46 pm
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Free,

After reading your post, and particularly your letter, I am not comfortable revealing honest input regarding the information on this site. It's just too damn risky.

Additionally, please know that I would NEVER ask questions or make any arrangements on your behalf without having consulted you extensively first. As I have said, you are the one who knows the most about your situation, and I would be greatly in err to assume that I could "take the wheel" for any leg of this journey.

I fear no repurcussions. Have dealt with lots of threats and violence--personal, and shelter lock-downs, etc. Had people coming to my office with loaded firearms looking for me when I worked my last job, had a sheriff (a really GREAT guy) disarm a man I was investigating. Sheriff had presense of mind to notice a "bulge" on the wrong side of this guys jeans, turned out he had a loaded gun stuffed in the back of his pants... Somebody up there likes me, and I'm feeling fine about having more contact with you and maybe being able to contribute something that no one has thought to offer so far.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Love,

Arwen

August 15, 2003
7:55 pm
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Okay Arwen.You must see more than I do. I don't understand the danger, but respect your position.

I've made myself safe as far as being held accountable or to answer to any posts. A friend of mine posts sometimes under free kuz you can only have one nickname per computer. She says things I'm afraid to say or that she's thinking and that's good because I need the feedback from people on the outside. There's no way come the trial that I'll remember who wrote what, and we both think that's good.

I got your e-mail address but am a little bit spooked right now, not sure why.

Thanks Arwen. Hugs

free

August 16, 2003
12:50 am
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Wow Free........I'm just so heartbroken for you right now, hard for me to write about all this. I guess for one thing it just pisses me right off that you have to bend over backwards to explain all this like you're on fucking trial here and this asshole psychopath is just doing his little diddy with people playing into it at all.

It just freaking amazes me. I'll respond later this weekend though and to be honest, I might not get into it all that much because I'm not so sure it will be wise to do that on this site. I don't know, just don't feel all that safe about it. It's that radar thingie in me going off. I think it's best that Arwen help you as much as she can - in email and I will address the things I feel safe about. You just never really know sometimes - who knows what about things or who tells who what.

One thing I would like to ask you is - did he ever have access to your computer? Because for one thing, you can install something on someone's computer that is like a parent child deal where you can monitor everything your child writes, where they go, all of it - goes right to you, word for word and it's very hard to find on your computer once it is done. It takes a few minutes and it's a done deal. So if he ever did do that and even though he might not have access to your computer, someone else could have and tell him everything you do online. Not trying to scare you here, but just want you to know these things. If you have a really good person that knows what's what with computers and can come over and take a look at yours and see if anything is on it - I'd do it. Then again, you may just know - this isn't an option. I just want you to be safe here, really safe. And I've seen it happen before where things were compromised because people found something out about things. This is a safe place, only so far. You have to really protect yourself in certain aspects when it's this important.

I know you are savvy and my concerns may be null and void, but did want to mention it.

August 16, 2003
12:30 pm
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Thanks Ladeska.

I do know a computer whiz that I'm gonna ask to come look at my computer. There is definitely a possibility.

Check this out. I got this e-mail from one of my credit card companies about managing and paying your bill online. So I thought- cool, I'll sign up. Finally get around to it a few days ago. Go to the site and try to register- oops, it says, already registered! Spooked me big time. So thought maybe I just forgot, and typed in the password that I use for everything- wrong password. Maybe it's a fluke but what sucks about being stalked is that anything out of the ordinary that happens is totally spooky! Talk about being paranoid. That account's done for- i called the bank.

As far as posting that letter- that's not the whole letter- it's just about the day monster got arrested. I'm glad I did it. This is gonna sound weird: I get really protective of information- but this info is already in the hands of many people, so while when I first saw it posted, I got all spooked out, today I feel much better about it. I believe my healing depends on having everything out in the open. If I get killed it will be, so why not let it be now kuz that's different.

When this all broke out last year, The Tracy Thurmon Story was on my mind big time. I wonder if things would have been different for her, Nicole Simpson, and all the others, if they had sent e-mails all over the country, told, told told. Like what we teach our kids "say no, get away, tell somebody, over, and over, and over, until things change and people start listening". It's hard to not listen to somebody who screams and screams and screams. After a while, heads turn to see what's going on.

I think my letter has made many people uncomfortable here. there's not much feedback, but that's okay. Posting it has made me look at it as a real thing- not something set aside in my head. The reality of dv is very different from thinking, writing, or talking about it. And the reality of it all is just what I'm going to be asked about, in depth.

I think maybe just let this thread fade out.

free

August 16, 2003
12:40 pm
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Free! Don't feel that way. I know I've been following this and have been amazed at your strength and courage. I just didn't feel anything I had to say was helpful or even pertinent to the situation so I stayed out. If you feel better posting this, go for it! Look at it this way, this site is for personal growth and healing. We're not told, say only things that won't make others uncomfortable. 🙂 People are usually very supportive, and can always choose to not read a thread.

I am in awe of what you've been thru, personally. I am proud of you! Have a good weekend, and hey -- YOU ROCK!!!!! 😉

August 16, 2003
1:57 pm
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Free,

It's not discomfort!!! Promise!!! It's concern for your safety. You have done so many things right I can't even begin to list all of them! However, I have also known a stalker--my sister's ex-husband. He was this complete computer illiterate, but he still managed to get into her email. Then there's that damn "history" tab. I hope you have yours set so that it won't show any history at all...

Please email me! I have much to share with you, and hopefully once you've seen my address, you can feel comfortable that I'm not in any way connected to the ex-monster.

I don't blame you for being afraid to trust me. And there will be no offense taken if you don't use the email address.

Love,

Arwen

August 16, 2003
3:06 pm
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No Free........sweetheart, I understand and you're not bothering anyone here at all, so please don't go. I just want you to be safe, even on here. I just got so sick at heart from reading the hell you are going through and I know how very difficult it is when the whole system sometimes just turns against you and attacks YOU for what the other person did. I just hurt for you...

This kind of mindset and persona that he has is just soo familiar to me. I grew up with a man just like him and I read your stuff and I'm like - Ditto. I don't really have anything to ask you about any of it because it's all so familiar to me. I just hope that the people that are on your side are doing their job, that's all I have to say. I mean you've got TONS of stuff that says - this man is dangerous, a psychopath and so what's the problem here folks??? Throw him in a cell and throw away the key!!! But I know it doesn't go like that....trust me, I know.

Please think about writing Arwen. I think she can really help you and support you here. And the thing with the kids.........OMG, my heart just breaks about that, too because he is soooo manipulating them and they are so good at knowing how to do that. They are young and not wise and savvy enough to understand what he is doing. Way over their heads. He knows just how to twist things. You should rent the movie White Oleander and watch it. In the movie, it's the woman who's the bad guy but it's the same personality at work here. Very, very crafty. Just made my skin crawl to watch it but it's one of the best movies that really show what goes on and how tricky and sneaky it all is, and how they coat it all with love......when in the end - they could really care less about - you. Was sad what her daughter went through.... So when you see it, just think of him as the mother...

Please stay here Free. You do need to talk and spit it all out. I just wanted you to be safe doing it and to cover all bases, sweetie. That's all. Just got safety on the brain here as far as all this goes. So get that computer whiz out there and have him really scan things for you, okay?

We all love you here and want to support you, okay? Talk up a storm! We are listening!!

August 16, 2003
11:49 pm
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Peoples!

I cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart for your support. I'm so glad this place is available to me and feel so very lucky that you've come into my life.

Arwen, if I send you and e-mail I'll use the word Free! in the subject line.

free

August 17, 2003
2:04 am
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BIG HUGS TO YOU FREE!!!!

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