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Former Abused child need help
October 20, 1999
4:55 am
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Filmnoir
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WEll, A new rinkle in the soap opera that is my life, My compuiters mouse just dided on me. So, I had to get a new mouse. I am TIRED! But, it is good money. My house mate returns tommarow. I have been lonily the past week while he has been away. But, I have my faithful kitty here to keep my company. My only conmplaint is all the time I sit alone.

Well, good night all. I need to get up early to make some phone calls. Take care, my friends.

-FiolmNoir

October 20, 1999
8:57 am
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hazza
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hi filmnoir,
ive just read all the threads on your post and i just want to say well done, you jave some so far in this time you should be really proud, you have been proactive in your difficulties, such as finding a job, councelling etc.
I too had an abusive mother, i know how hard it is to forgive and move on, but i could only begin to start liking ME when i realised that it was her who had the problems, not me. I had to forgive my mother not for her sake but for mine, I had to realised that she had a tough life and she was not perfect, we get on now okay, not perfect but better than before.
I am not suggesing that you forgive your mother, abuse is a hard thing to forget, but that you draw a line under it and keep the memories as memories, they ae things that happened in the past and YOU decide your future not anyone else. It took me a long time to accept this, but now i dont torture myself with the pain fresh every day.
You have a good future ahead of you, you have someone who loves you and wants to marry you, you have intelligence and wisdom, you will be able to create a peaceful life for you and your future family precisely because you know how important it is to consider other peoples feelings and dreams, this is one of the gifts we get from hard times, may be by way of compensation!
Peace to you and Dreamweaver, remember the past but don't forget the future.
Take care
Hazza

October 21, 1999
1:52 pm
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Filmnoir
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Thanks Hazza. I check in to this post everyday.

October 22, 1999
4:08 pm
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Filmnoir
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Well, Today I will be getting off work early. The sun is shining and I feel good. My house mate just got home, and this is a relieve. I have been alone for two weeks. But, today i feel like Pachebel's Cannon in D Major. Gosh though, I am getting nervious about my wedding. I am less then a year away, but I feel nervious already. (Is this normal?)

October 22, 1999
4:09 pm
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Filmnoir
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Well, Today I will be getting off work early. The sun is shining and I feel good. My house mate just got home, and this is a relieve. I have been alone for two weeks. But, today i feel like Pachebel's Cannon in D Major. Gosh though, I am getting nervious about my wedding. I am less then a year away, but I feel nervious already. (Is this normal?)

See you all later tonight.

October 23, 1999
3:27 pm
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Filmnoir
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I have made a discussion server through ICQ. This is a safe place to discuss any topic of cosern. It is called Abuse recovery. The number is 53058258. This requires the new ICQ 99b. Please join, I will be looking
for you.

-FilmNoir

October 26, 1999
2:09 am
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Filmnoir
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Today I had a real deppressive eppsiode. Well, it is still going on now. I got to the point where I was crying at work. Boy this is shamful. I don't think anybody saw me. But, It still is embarising.

October 26, 1999
9:55 am
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lost soul
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Well Filmnoir,
Nothing to feel shameful about.We are all human,so, we have our uncontrollable emotions.
Take care!!!!! Is just another bad day and it will soon be gone with the wind................................

October 26, 1999
1:44 pm
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daizy
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Thought I'd pop in and say hi. I think being nervous about your wedding is perfectly normal, as I was terribly nervous, before and during ours.
I also had the same problem with my mouse a month ago, couldn't really figure out the problem, just new that my mouse wasn't acting like it should. So I hooked up my mothers mouse and soon realized I had a bad one.
By the way, we all have our days where we are up or down, just try to make the best of it.

October 27, 1999
10:17 pm
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Filmnoir
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Thanks

October 28, 1999
2:17 am
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daizy
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As you will see, I've taken you up on the offer you sent me via email about the chat through icq. I think it's great that you've started something like this and I will be waiting to join you and others in chat.
daizy

October 30, 1999
2:14 am
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Filmnoir
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I am sad to report some delays in the opening of the server. UI am attempting to resolve them as I type.

October 31, 1999
11:50 pm
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Filmnoir
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I am still working on it. I will annouince when I have the problems resolved.

November 3, 1999
8:08 am
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Brittainy
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Hi Filmnoir Apologies for not writing for a while but I've been in Italy and feel so much better for having a break. I hope you are ok, and yes, it is normal to feel nervous about your forthcoming wedding. Stay in touch

November 14, 1999
2:28 pm
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Brittainy
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Hi everyone. How are you all. Hope to hear from you soon

November 14, 1999
6:39 pm
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Empty
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Filmnoir, I too feel like you. I had two abusive, alcoholic parents, plus we moved constantly, so there never was any stability in my life. But I think Hazza has put so eloquently, that we must go on with our lives and make our own destinies. I know this can be difficult to do at times, because it's hard to stay focused.

Hazza, I've come to look forward to your words of wisdom. Thanks, you know just what to say...

And Daizy, your excerpt from Alanon (characteristics) was very enlightening. Thanks. I had previously skimmed through their site, but declined due to the religious content. I see that there's more to it all than religion that I/we could get from it. I'll definitely go back & take another look. Thank you.

November 22, 1999
1:05 am
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Filmnoir
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Hello all, I am attemptinmg to keep up with you guys. I have been busy with work. I am still working on the server. Will keep ypu posted.

November 22, 1999
1:34 am
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Filmnoir
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I am happy to announcer that the server is up ande running. Now remember you need the ICQ 99b to get into my server. The number 55951981,. it is called Abuse recovery. C U there.

Film

November 25, 1999
8:18 pm
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pop
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I have never been to this site before, but I am glad I ran into it. I feel like this is a good outlet for anger I felt lately. I myself am a 22 year old woman with what I would describe as uncontrollable bouts of anger. When I was a child I was abused sexually, physically and most recently mentally. The later seems to have taken the hardest toll, or maybe my defense mechanism is worn down. I don't believe I really am an angry person, but I am unhappy on how my anger has negatively effected my life. I am no longer college and currently living at home again. However, I will soon be moving to Los Angeles with family. How can help myself put a curb on my anger before I destroy all my relationships?

November 27, 1999
2:50 am
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Filmnoir
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Are you a music lover? I find that for my self to listen to music helps. I like to blast the tunes. (I recomend headphones) Right now I am attempting to deal with a growing feeling of lonlyness with the Eagles, Hotel California. The ending with is relaxing and helpful. It is the part with the gutair. I deal with anger with Pink Floyed's The wall. It is the hard and load music that helps there. Now if I could only get to sleep.

November 27, 1999
4:36 pm
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zoneless
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Most Colleges also offer counceling to students and it is usually free ....Check it out I did ....and it helped I was sexually abused by an uncle for a long time and I no many many people who are going through the same thing as you are and what I did . It is a long road of ups and downs. Happy times and scary times. I my self am a music lover and music helps me through so much and like you it is not the words it is the tone and the melodic beat . Sometimes I realy feel that words clutter beautiful music , I like all different types of music but I prefer it without words.

November 30, 1999
9:40 am
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hazza
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hey there empty, and others.
Im glad my views help you, I know they are only words and sometimes the ideas can seem so impossible when you feel so hurt or angry, but they are true.
We must always focus on the future and on the positive, because this is the only way to change ourselves into more possitive people. The more you practice seeing the positive side of life you find that one day you actually believe it!!
Take care all
Hazza

December 6, 1999
10:14 am
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Brittainy
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Hi I hope you are all well. Take care

December 28, 1999
6:29 am
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Brittainy
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Hi Hoping you all have a great millennium. Take care

December 28, 1999
3:13 pm
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christina
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Hi I'm a 15 yr old girl from Indiana. I fortunately have grown up in a good home and have not suffered the way so many others have. I have many times voluntered at the family crisis shelter in my area. I have seen the results that abuse has on small children, fortunately have also seen the smiles on the faces of those who have gotten away from the abuse. Though memories last a life time, new memories are created every day, so create some good ones to make up for the bad ones. Before starting at the crisis shelter i recieved a packet of information. Some of this i found to be disturbing, in the U.S every 9 seconds a woman is physically abused by her husband. Approximately 3.3 million children witness their parents interpersonal violence each year. I find these statistics extremely disturbing and i think that more needs to be done to help people like this. I think the crisis shelter is a great place for people in need of help to go. If those who need help are too scared to go somewhere for help, please talk to some one about it. There is too much hurting out there in the world and too many children are being caught up in this mess. For those of you who have left an abuser you know how hard it was, but yet you also know just how much better off you are now than you would have been had to stayed. I wish you all the best of luck. If you ever just want some one to talk to, i may seem young, but i'm here for you. [email protected] e-mail me anytime.

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