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Forgiveness. What's the 1st step?
October 24, 2008
10:01 am
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caraway
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Mr. A,

You aren't wrong for feeling it, but I suppose at some point you might ask yourself if it is helping or hurting to hang on to it?

Would anything be gained (lost) by sitting down with your father and asking him why and telling him how you feel? I am sure that he has some regrets and perhaps an apology is all you need. Take him to your appointment with you if you aren't strong enough to handle it on your own.

Cary

October 24, 2008
1:42 pm
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Mr. Anonymous
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You're right, it does hurt more to hang onto it. It's just that sometimes I feel like he's part of the reason that I am taking meds for emotional problems. BUT . . . I must continue to have some kind of relationship with him. As I stated, he was there through thick and thin for his children which is more than what some fathers will do. Now, he is sickly and he needs us to take care of him.

Yet, I try to let go of the pain and enjoy the fact that my father is finally after all these years having a positive relationship with his children beyond material provisions. Yesterday, I cried as I listened to music that was soothing and the lyrics related directly to my circumstance.

I'm trying, I just need help. My issues have improved over where they were, but how long must I go before they completely go away.

October 24, 2008
2:43 pm
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caraway
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Mr. A,

Do you think that your Father is capable of sitting down and talking through this with you? I mean really listening to what you feel and are you capable (willing) to listen to his version of the past?

It just seems that you have this amazing opportunity to heal and have a relationship with your Father. I think so many of us long for that, but is too late as our Fathers and Mothers have died are simply aren't willing. Some of your anexiety may be caused by a longing to have him and the empty place inside healed.

Depression is a very real condition and meds can be life savers, but I hope you will be careful with those.

Sounds like your Dad is missing a great opportunity with you (I'd love to have a child as sensitive and caring as you appear).

Cary

October 26, 2008
6:43 pm
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Mr. Anonymous
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Thanks Cary,

Today was a little better too. I just think that now, I have some work to do on my own. Mainly, I need to work on being able to accept that sometimes people may do what they are not supposed to. At that point, I must take measures to protect myself & not look back or feel guilty for doing so. I still struggle, just working on it a day at a time. Don't think that there's too much more that I can do. Well, that's it for the day. I'm just looking to keep myself up.

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